The Bet
by CreateWriteInspire
Summary: AU HighSchool Dean thinks he's irresistible & bets Meg that he can get the strange kid, Castiel to get into bed with him. Dean's feelings start to change as he gets to know Cas. WARNING: graphic male/male porn in later chapters. There's also lots of angsty stuff just btw. Destiel because, hells yes, destiel.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**So, this is pretty rough but I just wanted to get it online so, sorry if there's any issues/mistakes but if I edit it enough, it'll never be finished so, enjoy :)**

**Also, my page breaks malfuntioned so it changes scenes randomly but imagine there's a page break and it'll all make sense. I uploaded the first three chapters before I realised :(Anyway, please enjoy.**

**I find it really hard to condense things so it takes a while to get into the reeeeeallly good stuff but it's coming so, hang in there ;)**

"I think he actually enjoys torturing people," whispers Anna, grimacing at the disgusting display in front of her.

Castiel averts his eyes as he continues to shuffle his books into his locker, "I think he's just a dick," he retorts.

Anna lets out a sad chuckle, "It's because he's so good-looking," she decides, "Only good-looking people get away with acting like assholes." Anna crosses her arms and leans her back against the lockers thoughtfully as Castiel finishes exchanging his textbooks. He follows her eyesight to see Dean Winchester trip over a small boy wearing a super-mario t-shirt.

Anna inwardly groans at the performance. Castiel merely rolls his eyes. Watching Dean Winchester pick on others always makes Anna's stomach turn. Castiel, however, is used to it. He's desensitised to the antics of Dean Winchester and wishes he could intervene. It's hardly worth it, though. Past occurrences have taught him that he causes more trouble for everyone by stepping in than he does by ignoring it. Besides, as far as Castiel's concerned, 'super-mario' is getting off easy.

As much as Dean Winchester's a dick, he isn't a total jerk. He doesn't beat the snot out of his victims or torment people for being gay or poor, he just picks on those who are smarter than him. He just likes acting like a tough guy for the entertainment of his friends. There was one time he got suspended for putting some kid named Gordon in the hospital but he had been one of Dean's best friends. Whatever happened between them, it hadn't been an act of bullying.

"I bet he's into that dominatrix stuff," Castiel says jokingly, trying to lighten Anna's mood as Dean and his close group of friends hurry out towards the football field. _To ditch class, no doubt_, Castiel thinks to himself.

Castiel feels accomplished when Anna smiles warmly.

"Nah," she disagrees, "That big tough guy act… He likes scented candles and cuddling."

A loud chuckle bursts from Castiel's lips.

"Funnily enough, I can't see it," Castiel admits through fits of laughter.

"But you can see him dressing in leather with a riding crop?" Anna inquires with suspicion present in her expression, "Or maybe you just like that image?" She grins mischievously.

Castiel scoffs, "Yeah, because I get all hot for pretty-boy bullies."

Anna chuckles and grins at her best friend, "What's next?" She asks.

Castiel inwardly groans at the thought of having to sit through his next class. He likes Biology and he's good at it but having it as your last period, on a Friday… _That_'_s_ torture.

Anna grins, "Adventure?" She suggests.

Castiel considers rejecting the idea immediately. He doesn't usually let Anna talk him into ditching class but he's willing to make an exception today.

Anna can see the defeat written all over Castiel's face and she thrusts her fist down in a triumphant gesture and silently mouths 'yes'.

Castiel rolls his eyes but follows her, nonetheless.

Dean slumps against his fist, trying, desperately, to keep his eyes open.

"Wake up," Meg hisses in his ear and startles him enough to sit up straight.

He growls at her but continues to stare out into the empty football field. Meg and he sit on their usual bench on the bleachers. The rest of the group had decided to skip out and head to Ash's to start the usual, Friday night get together early. Dean had to stay to make sure Sam gets home okay and Meg had decided to hang back too. Dean couldn't figure out why. She isn't exactly Dean's best friend, in fact, he knows her to be a little vixen at times. She's his friend, sure, but he doesn't even know if he enjoys her company.

Meg nudges him and offers him the rolled cigarette in her hand that smells suspicious.

"I've smoked nearly half the thing Dean," Meg complains. "You have the rest."

He isn't exactly in the mood to get high but he isn't one to say no. Dean grasps the butt between his thumb and forefinger before taking a large drag, passing it back and shaking his head.

"Nah you have it," he tells her.

Meg frowns but lets it go.

Dean rubs his eyes sleepily.

"Hey… check it out," Meg nudges him again. Dean looks up to see two people wandering across the oval. One's a male, wearing a trench coat, and the other's a redheaded girl.

He recognises the boy as Castiel, who's in a few of his classes and the girl is Amy… Anna? He can't remember and he doesn't really care. He knows the two to be brains and never thought he'd see them skipping class.

Meg laughs, "That's a strange sight," she says.

"Yeah," Dean mutters in a mixture of amusement and disbelief.

"I hate that chick…" Meg continues, "She's always giving me dirty looks."

Dean ignores her, uninterested by her petty problems.

"And isn't that dude gay?" She asks.

Dean shrugs, "Yeah… I hate that guy… He gives me the creeps," he confesses, leaning against the bleachers so he's practically lying down. "I feel like he's always checking me out." Dean grins at himself.

Meg lets out a hearty chuckle that's tainted with sarcasm, "Dean, did you ever stop to think that maybe… not _everyone_ wants to get into your pants?" She asks.

Dean shakes his head, "Not for a second."

It's true, Castiel gives him the creeps. It isn't because he's gay. Dean truly doesn't have a problem with homosexuality, despite what he says in front of Meg. There's just something about the kid. Dean's never really spoken to the kid but, on the rare occasions that he's made eye contact with him, Dean had felt somewhat… intimidated. Something about the way he stares with his big, intense, blue eyes. Dean can't put a finger on the emotion it provokes in him.

"You're so full of yourself," Meg laughs, "It's off-putting, really."

Dean scoffs in humour, "Can't help what God gave me, sugar…"

"You can help your vanity… Or is that God-given too?" She smiles in false sweetness.

Dean shrugs, "It's not without reason," Dean grins, "If people didn't flock to me… maybe I wouldn't be so vain."

Meg scoffs, "_Flock_ to you?"

Dean smiles and winks, "Yes, ma'am."

"I refuse to accept your hypothesis without evidence," she grins. Dean rolls his eyes. He hates when she tries to act smart. Meg _is_ smart, he knows that. But her need to prove it all the time irritates Dean.

"You've seen it for yourself, Meg," Dean continues, "I can have anyone I want, anywhere… anytime," he grins smugly.

Meg rolls her eyes and returns to the magazine she's been lazily flipping through, "You can't have me," she reminds him with a smirk.

Dean stifles a laugh, "I _did_ have you, Meg, and it wasn't that great," he turns to look at her again and her smile drops into a resentful grimace quicker than her panties dropped for Dean. "Or did you forget about that?" He inquires, letting his mouth pull into an arrogant grin.

Meg chews her lip in infuriation, "I've been trying to forget, actually."

Dean chuckles, feeling pleased by her discomfort. _He's such a dick_, Meg and Dean have the same thought. Meg hates him sometimes, Dean, however, knows he's a prick but he's also a little proud.

"My statement stands," he continues.

Meg chews her lip thoughtfully. She stares out at the football field and, as she lays eyes on the redhead and the trench coat sitting at the edge of the field, a plan develops.

"Prove it," she provokes, trying to conceal the mischievous smile approaching her lips by biting down.

Dean looks to her with intrigued eyebrows. Before he can ask, Meg gestures to Castiel with her chin.

"Since he wants you so bad… prove it."

Dean tries to decipher her expression. _Surely, she must be kidding?_ He thinks.

Dean scoffs, "I'm not going to seduce a guy just to prove something to _you_," he practically hisses, shaking his head.

"Maybe not for me but… for fifty bucks?" She inquires.

Dean looks outraged, "What do I look like to you? A cheap prostitute?" The corner of Meg's mouth twitches, "Don't answer that," he adds. "There isn't enough money in the world to get me to sleep with a dude!" He looks away, disgusted with her. He isn't homophobic but it's definitely not his thing, he's straight!

Meg rolls her eyes, "Oh, don't be so dramatic, Dean… I'm not suggesting you sleep with him… I'm merely suggesting an _attempt_ to sleep with him."

Dean turns to look at her again and raises his eyebrows, his interest returning.

"Let me get this straight… You want me to seduce some dude for fifty bucks?"

Meg can sense Dean's reluctance, "_IF_ -," She clarifies, hoping it will stir up his competitive streak. "You can seduce him," she continues, "… if not… _you_ owe _me_."

Dean ponders her proposal thoughtfully, "I'm intrigued…" He confesses, "but not sold, Meg."

Meg rolls her eyes, "A hundred?"

Dean purses his lips, "I don't have to actually have sex with him, right?" He clarifies.

Meg shakes her head, "Just… get him into bed… you just have to make sure he's willing which, according to you… he is… it shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Of course!" He agrees, "Easy as pie… but I can't exactly get away with it without… putting in _some_ effort." Dean admits, contemplating the thought of having to kiss the blue eyed man in order to be convincing.

A secret smile spreads across Meg's face, "You're Dean Winchester… Irresistible to all… Right? I would think you could do it with _no_ effort."

Dean glares at her. He decides that he has more to gain than a hundred bucks in this wager. As arrogant as he is, he knows they'll have to be _some_ foreplay. He hasn't been with a single person who would get into bed without it.

"And are you just going to believe me _when_ I win?" He raises his eyebrows at her.

"Well…" she deliberates, "A photo wouldn't go astray."

"You want me to take naked pictures of that guy and show them to you?"

Meg tilts her head mockingly, "Will that be a problem?"

Dean frowns and turns his attention to the two people sitting on the outskirts of the football field. He chews his lip thoughtfully.

"A hundred bucks?" He questions her and Meg nods. "Time limit?"

Meg contemplates his question, "A month," she decides, knowing that whatever limit she gives will have to be good enough. Dean won't admit to needing more time.

"And this will just stay between you and me?" Dean gestures with his pointer finger and waves it between Meg and himself.

Meg mimes zipping her lips and holds her hand up like she's taking an oath, "Cross my heart," she promises.

Dean spares one more glance towards the boy before turning back to Meg and holding out his hand, "You're on," he agrees and Meg takes his hand to confirm their deal.

"Well," Dean begins, "I better get started."

"You see? I told you we wouldn't get caught," Anna grins at Castiel as they head to the car park.

Castiel shrugs, feeling like a goody-two-shoes for being so nervous, "I know… you were right… you're oh-so-smart and oh-so-clever," he says as he pretends to bow to Anna.

They stop at Anna's car, "You sure I can't give you a ride?" She asks, knowing the answer.

Castiel shakes his head as expected, "Gabriel won't be long," he lies. Anna rolls her eyes before getting into her car and driving off. As soon as she's out of sight, Castiel starts walking home. Gabriel won't be off work for another hour and, even then, he'll pick up Castiel somewhere on the way home. Castiel lives on the outskirts of town, nearly half an hour's drive to school. Despite the fact that Gabriel works in the afternoon, he never lets Anna know that he has to walk for an hour before Gabriel picks him up. She'd insist on driving him and Castiel can't allow her to drive so far out of her way.

Besides, he doesn't mind walking, or waiting. Gabriel does what he can to support himself and his little brother. For that, Castiel will always be thankful and never complain.

"How was school, Sammy?" Dean asks as he slides into his Impala.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," Sam says. Dean notices that he looks exhausted.

"What's wrong… why the poop face?"

Sam shakes his head, "I have a whole weekend ahead of me dedicated to an algebra exam."

Dean grimaces, "Gross."

Dean starts the engine and pulls out of the school grounds and heads home.

"You wanna' come to Ash's tonight?" Dean offers but Sam shakes his head.

"Can't… Too busy." Dean nods, having expected the decline.

Dean's mind wanders to the deal he made earlier. He starts to map out his strategy but his mind comes to a halt as he spots the familiar, tan trench coat. He had searched for that trench coat in the car park, determined to strike up a conversation but he'd been disappointed when he couldn't see him.

He slows down as he approaches the boy and eyes him curiously. Castiel has his eyes on the ground as he walks swiftly. Dean's strategy quickly disappears from his head.

"Dean?" Sam inquires. "You're actually going the speed limit."

Dean remembers Sam and speeds up. He can't offer Castiel a ride with Sam in the car. It's the perfect opportunity to lay some groundwork but he has to drop Sam off first.

Dean turns a corner and Castiel disappears from his rear-view mirror. He speeds, more than usual, on the route home and pulls into the driveway. He quickly explains to Sam before turning around and heading back to Castiel, hoping he's still there. Dean feels a funny relief when he spots the dark haired man. He pulls up beside him and honks his horn.

Castiel jumps at the sound and looks around to see a black car. He peers into the window as the occupant leans over to wind down the window. Castiel recognises Dean Winchester and he instantly frowns.

"Castiel, right?" Dean asks and Castiel nods. "Want a ride?"

Castiel raises his eyebrows, wondering if Dean's making a joke. His expression is unreadable. Castiel decides he doesn't want to hang around to find out.

Without answering, Castiel turns and continues walking down the path. Dean frowns. He puts his baby into park and jumps out.

"Hey!" He calls out but Castiel continues to ignore him. _What the hell is his problem?_ Dean thinks but continues to chase after him. "Hey!" He repeats as he grasps Castiel's bicep.

Castiel turns to face him reluctantly, "What?" He asks.

"Can I give you a ride?" Dean inquires again.

Castiel frowns, "Why?"

Dean looks taken back, "Because I… want to?" He stutters, unable to control the tension he feels under Castiel's gaze. _Those eyes_, Dean thinks.

"You've never spoken to me before in your life and now you're offering me a ride?" Castiels asks, feeling a little overwhelmed. He can't believe that _Dean Winchester _is talking to him, let alone offering him a ride. He must have alternative motives. This must be the opening to some mean joke.

Dean feels a little annoyed, "Well… Do you want one or not?"

Castiel contemplates Dean, curious about his tone, "Not," he replies and makes to leave again. Dean grabs him and holds him back again.

Castiel groans.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't get into cars with strangers," Castiel replies curtly.

Dean almost laughs, the kid's clever, "We go to school together, I'm not a stranger," He defends.

"We've never spoken before… You're a stranger," Castiel makes to leave but Dean stops him once more.

"Cas… c'mon… just let me drive you home," Dean persuades. Castiel looks at him, a little confused. _Cas, _he thinks. No one ever calls him that. Gabriel calls him Cassie but he hates that. For some reason, he likes the name coming from Dean's lips. Actually, he likes Dean's lips. _What was that!?_ Castiel thinks, _shut up, Castiel, this is Dean Winchester you're talking about!_

Yes, this is Dean Winchester andhe's being so friendly, so _nice_. It's suspicious.

Cas realises he's left the silence dangle in the air for too long and it's his turn to speak. He's very aware of Dean's hand still grasping his bicep.

"No thank you," He responds and Dean rolls his eyes, letting his arm drop.

"You're very stubborn," Dean observes. "Why can't I drive you home?"

Cas sighs, getting bored of trying to explain this to him, "My house is almost a thirty minute drive away."

Dean shrugs, yielding to those scorching blue eyes, "I don't mind." Cas stays quiet and Dean smiles, sensing the other boy's surrender.

Cas lets out a large breath before agreeing.

Cas sits awkwardly in the passenger seat of the Impala as Dean heads out of town. The only sound comes from the classic rock song coming from the car's radio and Cas giving directions every now and again.

"So, Cas," Dean begins, "What kind of music do you like?" Dean knows it's lame but he's sick of the silence.

"Classical," he answers after a moment and glances at the radio but asks anyway, "you?"

Dean smiles, "Classic rock," he says and Cas just nods and looks out the window. Dean realises that it's up to him to keep the conversation following.

"So…" Dean coughs uncomfortably, "do you usually walk this whole way?"

"No… my brother picks me up on his way home from work," he explains and then, suddenly realising, takes out his mobile phone to tell Gabriel that he already has a ride home.

Dean notices the action and feels as if Cas might be trying to end the conversation, "I get the feeling that you don't like me very much Cas," He declares.

Cas merely shrugs and slides his phone back in his pocket, "I don't know you Dean," he replies before turning his attention back to the window.

"Well… you're not making much of an effort to do so," Dean says lightly, trying to break the ice.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Cas quips sarcastically, "Am I to be scrutinised for not eagerly engaging in conversation with a man who has never before given me the time of day?"

Dean looks startled, "What? No," He defends before frowning, "Cas… I didn't mean… I was just trying…"

Dean stifles a groan, what was wrong with him? He was never anxious or lost for words.

"Trying to what, Dean?" Cas prompts and Dean feels his eyes on him but keeps his own on the road.

Dean shrugs, "Trying to be nice."

Dean jumps when he hears a throaty chuckle from the boy next to him. Castiel can't believe what he's hearing. Anna would be outraged.

"Oh, I see…" Cas nods and Dean senses cynicism, even before he's said anything, "You're Dean Winchester… So… that must mean that one kind act makes up for a lifetime of douche-baggery."

Cas doesn't know where it comes from. He's usually so quiet and shy. Maybe Anna's attitude is rubbing off on him. After all, how could he listen to Dean 'try and be nice' when he's seen the other side of him?

Dean's frown deepens, "Do you have a problem with me, Cas?" He blurts out with hurt and anger in his voice.

"I saw you picking on a boy earlier today," Cas admits.

Dean spares a sideways glance at the guy next to him, "Oh," is all he manages to say.

"Why do you feel the need to bully others?"

Dean swallows. Honestly, he doesn't know why he does it. He just likes the attention he gets from his friends. That and he can't stand nerds, smug little bastards. Except for Sammy… Sammy isn't arrogant about his intelligence. _Arrogance?_ Dean asks himself. Who was he to talk about arrogance? He pulls himself out of his self-evaluation to answer the unasked question, floating in the air.

"I don't know why," he finally spits out as he spares a glance at Castiel. He's startled to see Cas staring back at him and realises it was a bad idea to look. With those blue eyes on him, he feels completely submissive. "But…" He continues, "If you don't want me to… I won't do it anymore."

Dean can't tell what's wrong with him. Why is so willing and… almost compelled to please this boy? For whatever reason, he can't stand being judged by him. He thinks he's an asshole, that much is clear, and it makes Dean's stomach swirl uncomfortably with guilt.

"Why you'd you care what I want?" Cas asks in genuine curiosity.

Dean didn't realise how that must have sounded. He coughs uncomfortably and looks pointedly out the window, letting the question be blatantly ignored because, frankly, he doesn't have an answer.

He can't believe that came out. He didn't mean it to come out, now it sounds like Dean cares what the guy thinks. _Isn't that the point?_ He asks himself. Dean smiles to himself, realising he's laying down groundwork without even realising it. Actually, he hadn't been concentrating on his plan at all. He'd been too distracted to think and evaluate every word that he said. Playing out every sentence and putting just the right amount of flirting behind it. He'd just been talking and subconsciously laid groundwork anyway. He smiles smugly, maybe he's just _that_ good. Or maybe it's something else? Dean wonders and a weird feeling fills him up, like his brain's gone all fuzzy.

Where had his mind gone? _Cas_, his subconscious thinks, _your mind's been on Cas_.

Dean shakes his head and dismisses the thought eagerly.

"This is it," Cas breaks Dean's concentration as he points to his house. Dean notices it isn't much and wonders if it's just him and his brother living there.

Dean pulls into the driveway and Cas sits awkwardly for a moment.

"Thank you for the ride," he mutters before making to leave. Dean puts his hand on his arm to stop him.

"Wait, Cas," Dean begins and regrets it as soon as those blue orbs meet his. Once more, he feels like putty. He had planned on saying something clever and charismatic but that all went out the window as soon as he met those eyes. What's happening to him? "Do you really think I'm a jerk?" He blurts out, feeling the vulnerability in his voice.

Cas almost softens at Dean's expression. He really looks upset, can that be real? Cas feels almost angry at the guy for making him feel bad for the big oaf. Cas leans back against the seat and sighs.

"Prove me wrong," he says and regrets the words instantly when Dean's face falls in a way he could've never imagined. It's so sad he almost wants to reach out and touch him. "Dean," Cas begins and he doesn't know what to say, he just wants that expression gone, "Why did you stop for me today?"

Dean shrugs, "I just saw you walking and thought… hey… I know that kid," he grins but Cas is shaking his head.

"No, Dean," Cas retorts, "You passed me on the street and then, for some reason, felt the need to turn around and ask me if I wanted a ride."

Dean frowns and opens his mouth to ask before Cas answers, "You're Dean Winchester," he explains and Dean can't help the strange thrill he feels when Cas says his full name, "Everyone knows you drive a '69 Chevy Impala… You don't exactly see another one roaming around town, do you?"

Cas looks expectant but Dean can't think of an answer. Why is this so hard? He's never had to think so much with other people. Cas is so _curious, _so _suspicious_ of him, he isn't like everyone else. He isn't afraid to tell Dean that he thinks he's a douchebag.

"I don't know, Cas," Dean finally says, "I just… saw you and… I don't know… I wanted to pick you up but, for some reason…" Dean frowns at himself as the truth spills over, "I didn't want my brother in the car… I wanted you…" Dean coughs uncomfortably and pointedly looks even further away from Cas, trying to avoid his stare, "alone… so I took him home and picked you up."

Dean finally works up the courage to look at Cas but he's looking down like he's in deep thought. He finally looks up.

"You wanted me alone?" He asks, "Why?"

"You ask a lot of questions," Dean acknowledges. The words come out breathless as he stares at Cas, their faces inches from each other.

Cas shifts uncomfortably and decides to leave once more but is stopped by Dean, again.

"Do you want to come to a party with me tonight?" Dean blurts out. He hadn't even considered it as a way to get into Cas' pants. He could get him a little drunk and get this over with before the weekend is out but that hadn't even occurred to him. Actually, he realises just how stupid it is. Bringing a brain to a party to win a bet that he doesn't want everyone to know about isn't really the brightest idea he's ever had.

Dean really hadn't thought it through; he just wanted an excuse for Cas not to leave.

Cas looks confused, "Um," he considers, "I don't think so… I don't often go to parties."

Dean doesn't question why, "Well then maybe we could just hang out?"

Cas can't put his finger on the new behaviour. It's suspicious but he can't deny being slightly curious about the concept of hanging out with Dean. What does he mean when he says hang out? Are they becoming friends? Perhaps it's more than that. It's a lot to process in one afternoon.

Cas feels compelled to question why Dean wants his company but he resists, remembering that Dean thinks he asks too many questions. He doesn't trust him but a part of him is kind of intrigued by the other side of Dean. It's strange because he barely knows the guy but he's seeing something more in him now. He can see vulnerability and consideration. Something he _never_ thought he would see in Winchester.

"And do what?" Cas prompts but Dean merely shakes his shoulders.

"Watch movies, eat food… Hang out… tomorrow maybe?"

Cas contemplates Dean's offer for a moment. He desperately wants to ask Dean why we wants to, all of a sudden, hang out with him but he holds back. He really _does_ ask a lot of questions. He dismisses his insecurities immediately, knowing that he has every reason and right to be suspicious.

"I'll agree to hang out with you, Winchester," Cas begins and feels a pang of glee at the smile on Dean's face, "If you can tell me _why_ you want to hang out with me."

The hope in Dean's expression vanishes as he rolls his eyes and looks away from Cas' persuading gaze. Dean clears his throat, realising that he's not going to get through this without giving Cas the answers he's looking for.

Dean sighs, "I don't like people thinking I'm a jerk-,"

"Funny… I was under the impression you thrived on it," Cas cuts across him. Dean looks over to give Cas his best 'is that supposed to be funny?' look. Cas can't help but think that he looks cute when he pulls that face. He lets a cheeky smile possess his mouth and Dean reciprocates with a bashful chuckle. The sound is heart-warming.

_Stop it Cas_! A voice yells at him. He realises it's Anna's voice in his head as his guilty conscious forces him to think, _what would Anna do? _She wouldn't look at Dean Winchester and bask in the beauty that is his smile.

_Okay, _Anna's voice is in his head again, _now that's too far, Cas!_

"Anyway," Dean continues and Cas breaks his lock on those green eyes to focus on his moving mouth. Dean notices Cas' focus on his lips and the corners of his mouth twitch at the subtle action. "I don't like _you_ thinking that I'm a jerk," Dean clarifies and he realises that there's an abundance of truth behind his words.

Cas can't help the sudden rush of pleasure he feels at the statement. A smile plays on his lips as he looks up into Dean's eyes, realising that he'd noticed Cas' distraction. Feeling an unusual tension in air, Cas turns away, too afraid of what he might do. He can't stand the thought of finding out the hard way that the chemistry is in his head.

"Dean, I hope I'm not being rude but you don't know me, why do you care what I think?"

Dean shrugs and looks out the front window to stare at Cas' front door, "Because you're the first person to actually tell me what you think…" He admits and he doesn't need to lie to Cas, now that he thinks about it, he hasn't needed to lie to him at all today, "I know everyone _thinks_ I'm an asshole… but you're the first person to come right out and say… That finally makes it true, I guess," Dean chuckles sadly.

"So, you're determined to prove me wrong?" Cas almost grins at Dean's attempt to make a joke.

Dean nods, "I hope so."

Cas sighs as he feels himself giving in, "Fine," he begrudgingly agrees. Dean grins uncontrollably and Castiel can't help the exhilaration it gives him knowing that _he_ made that.

"Awesome," Dean smiles, "give me your number and I'll text you sometime tomorrow."

The two exchange numbers and Castiel grazes Dean's hand as they swap phones back. The electricity in their touch is overwhelming. Dean can't control himself as he leans forward. He hadn't planned on it but his body acts on its own accord.

Cas' eyes flick to Dean's just in time to see the boy lean in. His lips ghost over his and he feels his breath in his mouth. They come within a hair's breadth of each other before Castiel gasps against his will and pulls away. Disappointment floods Dean but he continues to stare at Cas, looking for answers but Cas' expression is impassive.

Cas' brain moves a million miles an hour as he stares out the front door, his heart beating so hard he's surprised that Dean can't hear it. He's vaguely aware that Dean has leaned back into his seat and he realises that he should speak. Speak, move or do something!

"I have to go,"Cas mutters, barely louder than a whisper, before he jumps form the car with haste and heads straight for his house, unlocks the door and shuts it behind him.

Cas instantly begins to dread having to explain this to Anna.

Dean stares at the empty space where Cas just was. He feels hurt by his sudden absence and has to wonder what he possibly did to upset him. He realises that he's been sitting in Cas' driveway for probably a minute too long and instantly puts his car in reverse and heads home.

"What the hell?" He asks aloud.

He just tried to kiss Castiel. He'll argue with himself, tell himself it's for the good of the wager but he knows that it's a cope out. The bet had been the furthest thing from his mind, he had _wanted _to kiss Cas.

Dean thumps against his steering wheel in frustration, "I'm Dean Winchester, damn it! I'm not gay!" In that instant, Dean forces an array of images through his mind. _Breasts – butt – long, feminine legs – long, luscious hair – soft, pink lips – bedroom eyes – scorching, blue eyes – defined, stubble covered jaw – tousled, dark hair – STOP_

"God damn it," Dean curses, smacking his steering wheel again, "I. Am. Not. Gay!" He chants again.

Cas doesn't want to have this conversation but he needs it. He quickly dials Anna's number as he paces the length of his bedroom.

"City Sperm Bank, you spank it, we bank it! How may I help you?" Anna answers and Castiel scrunches his nose in repulsion.

"Anna… that's disgusting," he comments and she chuckles.

"It's good though, right?" She giggles and Cas joins in, "Thought of it myself."

"You should be so proud," he says sarcastically before growing silent.

"What's up Cas-apillar?"

Cas snorts, "No," he says simply, rejecting yet another one of her ridiculous nicknames.

He can almost hear her pout and then she sighs, "Fine, what's up?"

"Something really strange just happened," he begins nervously and Anna buzzes, urging him to spill the beans. Cas coughs uncomfortably, "I think Dean Winchester has a crush on me."

**Reviews? Please & Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dean stirs in his bed. He refuses to get up until he remembers that it's Saturday and he's seeing Castiel today.

He had tried to have a good time at Ash's last night but all he could think about was Castiel. He was usually the life of the party but not this time. He was like the ugly girl at the prom last night. He barely remembers talking to anyone at the party, well, except Meg.

He only remembers the conversation because of what happened afterwards.

Dean had already had a few drinks and was feeling the effects.

Dean leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I have a date with him tomorrow," he informed her and enjoyed the surprise in her expression.

Dean remembers Meg trying to compose herself quickly, "A real date?" She prompted, "Or is that just wishful thinking?"

Dean ignored the question because, honestly, he didn't actually know. He didn't even know if he was still seeing Castiel after his hasty escape, let alone whether or not he was taking him on a date. Dean pumped a few more drinks in his system before he had enough courage to disappear into one of the upstairs bedrooms to message Cas. He knew it was late but he had to speak to him.

He created a new message:

_Hey Angel, you awake?_

He wrote and pressed send. Ten minutes passed and still, no reply. Dean tried again.

_Cas! Cas wake up!_

Still no reply.

_Cas, pleeeeeeeeease._

He lied down on the bed and waited anxiously for Cas' reply. After waiting ten minutes, he decided that Cas was asleep and wasn't going to answer. He decided to walk home after that. It was only a ten minute walk from Ash's place to his own which made it easy for nights like that. It meant he didn't have to listen to Bobby yell at him for getting behind the wheel while under the influence. He hated disappointing Bobby. It wasn't like when you rebelled against your parents, because he would always be eternally grateful for Bobby. His mother had died a long time ago and when his father died a few years ago, Bobby took him and Sam in and cared for them. He was the closest thing to a father that Dean or Sam had.

Dean stumbled into his room, kicked off his boots, dropped his pants, removed his shirt and fell into bed wearing nothing but briefs. He was just about to drift off to sleep when he heard a loud beeping sound and a stranger, blue light. He groaned, willing to ignore his phone until he remembered that he'd texted Cas.

Dean almost tripped over trying to get his phone out of his jeans pocket. He flipped it open to see:

New Message

From: Cas

His heart practically leapt from his chest as he fell back on his bed and opens the text.

**Yes Dean, I am awake. I'm assuming that this is Dean. My contact information suggests that this is 'Dr. Sexy'**

Dean laughed at himself before writing back.

_This is Dr. Sexy, at your service._

**I see… Dean, perhaps you should seek professional help for your delusions.**

_Are you saying that I'm _not _sexy? _

Cas rolled his eyes, and carefully tried to think of a clever answer. He continued to smile to himself, disbelieving that Dean was flirting with him.

Dean started to worry when Cas didn't reply for a few moments longer than usual. He sighed loudly with relief when his phone suddenly vibrated.

**I would never say that.**

_So you admit it? You think I'm sexy?_

**I'm not answering that.**

Dean chuckles but decides to let it go.

_You will… _

Dean challenged before sending another message immediately.

_So, Cas, what are you doing up so late? _

Cas swallowed. _Nightmares,_ he thought. Dark, disturbing nightmares are the reason Cas wakes at ungodly hours of the night. He'd never told anyone just how bad his nightmares were and he probably never will.

**Couldn't sleep.**

_How come?_

**Bad dream.**

_Are you okay?_

**Yes, Dean, I am fine, thank you for your concern.**

_You know… If that ever happens and you want to talk… you can talk to me._

**Thank you, Dean.**

Cas was overwhelmed by Dean's compassion and a little touched.

_You're welcome._

There was a silence between them for a moment. Neither of them wanted the conversation to end but also didn't know how to proceed

_Are you looking forward to our date tomorrow_?

**Date? I was under the impression we were 'hanging out'.**

Dean felt the sting of rejection once more.

_Whatever you want Cas, it's up to you._

**Okay.**

Dean regretted calling it a date, fearing Cas' reluctance to be with Dean in that way. Dean realised this may be harder than he would have hoped. He gave up, deciding not to push Cas further and let his reply go unwritten. He was just about to drift off again when his phone vibrated.

**What time will I see you tomorrow?**

Dean grinned.

_I can come get you around 12. We can go get some lunch, is that okay?_

**Yes… that sounds… fine.**

_Goodnight, Cas._

**Goodnight, Winchester.**

Dean smiled to himself at the last message before finally falling asleep.

Now, it's almost eleven and Dean decides to start getting himself ready to see Cas.

"Cassie!" Gabriel sings. Cas stirs in his bed and groans when Gabriel pulls his blanket off quickly, "Wake up, Cassie! Get your lazy bones out of bed!"

Cas groans again and turns away, fighting his brother.

"It's eleven 'o' clock Cas… get out and do something!"

"I_ am_ doing something!" Cas defends with his face buried in a pillow. He doesn't see it but he knows Gabriel is rolling his eyes.

"Lying in bed all day doesn't count as doing something!" Gabe protests. Cas finally turns over to face his brother, who's sitting on his legs at the foot of his single bed.

"No," Cas begins, "I'm going out… On a," Cas clears his throat, "date," he says, almost like a question.

Gabriel raises his eyebrows, "A date? Really?" Cas nods, "Cas, I'm impressed… You sly dog, you." Cas breaks a smile and Gabe continues, "So… who is he?"

Cas caresses his chin thoughtfully, "His name's Dean Winchester… He's a boy at my school."

"I see… Cas' first date… when did this start?" Gabe asks. Gabe was the first person that Cas came out to and the most supportive person he'd ever met. He'd been telling Cas to get himself a boy for years now.

"Yesterday," Cas answers and he knows how strange it sounds. Gabe looks at him, a little perplexed, so Cas continues, "I've known him for years but never actually _met_ the guy… I always thought he was a total dick but then he pulled over yesterday to give me a ride home… We talked and, I don't know… He got me to agree to hang out."

Gabe frowns, "Oh, so it's not a date?"

Cas shrugs, "He called it a date but I'm not sure… I'm still really cautious Gabe… He's practically a stranger… closer to an enemy than a stranger. I've always known he was a bully and then yesterday he tells me that he won't do it anymore if it would make me happy…"

Gabe shrugs, "Don't fret about that… Most people think I'm a dick until they get to know my wonderful personality," Gabe grins smugly.

Cas grins, allowing Gabe to comfort him with exactly what he wants to hear. Anna hadn't done the same. She was shocked and a little outraged that Cas even gotten into the car with him. He tried to let her know that he seemed perfectly pleasant up-close but she wouldn't have a bar of it. She finished the conversation with, "So you do get hot for pretty-boy bullies, after all," leaving Castiel feeling ashamed and guilty. She didn't hate him though, Anna would support Cas no matter what he did but that didn't mean she wouldn't give him a hard time about it.

Cas spends the next hour getting ready. He showers, dresses, undresses and re-dresses multiple times. Each time, he dresses in a different outfit as he trials various looks, seeking a nod of approval from Gabriel.

Finally, they decide not to have Cas overdress for a lunch date and settle on a pair of dress jeans and a simple, long sleeved, blue t-shirt. He leaves his hair tousled and messy, like usual. His palms grow sweaty in anticipation. He makes Gabriel make himself scarce so that he doesn't have to pressure Dean into meeting him. It works out well because Gabe's skipping out all afternoon to catch up with some friends for a beer.

The impala pulls into Cas' driveway at twelve 'o' six.

Cas opens the door and sees his own smile mirrored in Dean. Dean looks Cas up and down appreciatively. He can smell Cas, he's so close. He's clearly just gotten out of the shower and he smells so amazing that it almost makes Dean groan.

Cas takes in Dean's appearance. He's wearing worn jeans, a black t-shirt, an army green jacket and a gold amulet around his neck.

"Hello handsome," Dean greets charmingly. Cas looks taken back, he wasn't expecting that.

"Handsome?" He repeats, "Are you still drunk from last night?"

Dean frowns curiously, "How do you know I was drunk?" He doesn't remember saying so.

Cas smiles, "You texted me saying 'Hey angel, you awake?' and then continued with another text that said, 'Cas – multiple exclamation marks – Cas, wake up – even more exclamation marks' and then yet another saying 'pleeease' spelt with ten e's." Cas raises his eyebrows expectantly.

Dean tries to hide his smile but he can't. He shrugs, "I missed you," he explains.

Cas tilts his head and frowns, studying Dean. Dean feels as if he could melt at that adorable expression on his face.

"You saw me yesterday," Cas says plainly.

"Yeah and I was having lots of fun before you freaked and ran away from me," Dean blurts out. Dean looks down at Cas' slightly hurt expression, feeling suddenly guilty. Dean coughs uncomfortably, "You ready to go?"

Cas nods, "Yes… Where are we going?"

"Well there's a dinner up the road from here… just a little place… does that…" Dean stutters nervously, "Is that alright?"

Castiel grins at Dean's fractured sentence, adoring his shyness. He loves the fact that he has that effect on him.

"That sounds perfect Dean," Cas reassures him and Dean's replying smile couldn't be bigger.

Cas and Dean spend the entire time talking, never sharing an awkward moment. Dean probes Cas with a never ending list of questions. Some he can answer easily, others not so much. When Dean asks about Cas' family his entire body tenses and he seems to freeze. Dean notices Cas pull his sleeves tighter around his palms and avoids eye contact.

"Cas… you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," Dean says, genuinely not wanting Cas to get upset.

Cas sighs, "It's not that… I've just never told anyone."

"You can tell me," Dean assures him but Castiel merely shakes his head and gives him a sad smile, "That's not a story for today," Cas says simply.

Dean nods in understanding.

"Favourite colour?" Dean changes the subject.

"Hmm," Cas ponders, "yellow."

"How come?"

Cas looks down shyly, "You'll laugh," he accuses.

Dean looks almost offended but smiles anyway, "I promise, I won't."

Cas looks up and realises he's lost under Dean's gaze, "Because… they're the colour of bumblebees," he says finally. He looks away, embarrassed.

Dean stifles a chuckle but some laughter slips out. Cas' eyes snap back to him, "I told you!" He yells.

Dean shakes off his laughter, "No," he soothes Cas, "I'm not laughing at you… I think it's cute."

Cas lets a smile appear at Dean's words, "What's _your_ favourite colour?" He continues.

Dean exhales loudly, "Um… Well, if you had of asked me yesterday I probably would've said black."

"And if I ask you today?" Cas asks, catching Dean in his eye contact once more.

"Blue," he says in a small voice, "Definitely blue."

Cas looks away, overwhelmed with the underlining meaning behind his words.

The Impala pulls into Cas' driveway once more and Dean puts her in park.

"So," he begins, finding himself in the same position as yesterday. "Is your brother home?"

Cas shakes his head, "He's out for the afternoon."

"Oh," Dean says and then clears his throat uncomfortably, "So, you're home alone this afternoon?"

"Yes," Cas says simply. Dean realises that Cas isn't picking up his hints. We can't be more obvious, he doesn't want to push him. The kid's so fragile and jumpy, like a puppy.

"Did you have fun today?" Dean asks, genuinely curious.

"Yes, Dean… Today was very pleasant," he says softly.

"I'm glad," Dean mutters awkwardly. "Am I still a jerk?"

Cas chuckles musically, "You tell me," he challenges.

Dean smirks sadly, "I would say yes," he admits, "but I'd much rather hear your opinion."

Cas shrugs, "I'll tell you on Monday,"

"Why Monday?"

"Everyone acts differently behind closed doors."

Dean sighs, he wishes he could argue. Wishes he could get angry at Cas for thinking so little of him but he _should_ think little of him. Dean can't act this way at school, he doesn't want people to know what's happening between he and Cas. He doesn't want to be named a fag.

"Cas," Dean whispers, "I…" he begins, not knowing how to explain, "There's something-,"

"Stop Dean," Cas interrupts, "You don't have to explain… I understand."

"Really?" Dean asks, not expecting his understanding.

"Yes… you don't want your friends to know about… well… whatever this is," Cas unleashes the power of his magnetic eyes on Dean, "you don't want them to know that you're gay."

Dean's hand smacks the steering wheel and Cas jumps.

"I AM NOT GAY!" He growls and Cas stares at him. Dean regrets it instantly at the look on Cas' face. He just ruined any chance he had to convince Cas to get into bed with him. He shouldn't have rejected it so quickly but it was an instinct. _Why did he protest too much? _He had to wonder.

"I see," Cas says, biting back the anger quickly rising in his throat, "because _that_ would be horrible and disgusting, right?!" He shouts and Dean flinches a little.

"No, Cas… I didn't mean…" He begins in a weakened voice.

"Forget it Dean!" Cas snaps and makes to leave.

Dean's hand reaches out to hold him back instinctively, "Cas no! Wait… Please?"

His voice is so small, Cas stops, the sad tone affecting him strangely. He looks back to stare into Dean's pleading eyes.

"Please Cas," He repeats. Cas stares into the meadow green eyes, trying to read them.

Dean squeezes Cas' forearm. Both of them had forgotten that it was there but, now, neither of them can stop thinking about it. They both feel an alien sensation; it's like a current of electricity that passes through both of them.

Dean watches Cas' expression carefully, unable to look away from his stare. He watches Cas' lips part slightly as he sucks in a nervous, stuttering breath.

Dean smiles at the little action and can't help himself. He launches at Cas, claiming his beautiful, pink mouth. He grasps the crook between Cas' jaw and neck and forces his lips against his own. A strange pleasure seems to radiate from the kiss. Dean can't describe it. It's unlike anything he has ever felt before. He can't tell if it's _better_ than when he kisses girls, he just knows it's different. Whatever it is, he can't let go. He desperately tries to part his lips to gain access to the rest of Cas' gorgeous mouth but as soon as he attempts it, he stops, realising that Cas isn't returning the kiss. Dean pulls back to stare in to confused, shocked eyes. He glances at Cas' slightly puckered lips before Cas turns his head away to stare out the front window.

Dean feels the sting of rejection. He didn't think it would hurt so much.

Cas can't believe what just happened. Dean Winchester, famous ladies' man, just kissed him. Not just kissed him but gave him his first kiss. His brain is working a million miles a minute, trying to fathom the events of the last twenty-four hours but it's failing. All Cas can think about is how Dean's lips were so soft and felt so good against his.

Cas knows he's thinking with the wrong organ in his body but he can't help it. In one quick, involuntary action, he launches over the gearstick and swings his leg over Dean's thigh so that he's straddling him. In the same instant, Cas' hands find Dean's jaw and their mouths collide once more.

Dean's body practically vibrates with unfamiliar excitement. He welcomes Cas' urgent and greedy kiss. Dean's hands slip into the other boy's hair and tugs at it in an attempt to bring him closer. He parts his lips experimentally, requesting access and Cas' obliges. Dean stifles a moan when he feels and tastes Cas and eagerly explores the boy's mouth. Cas returns the enthusiasm and slides his hands through Dean's dark blonde hair, clutching it passionately.

Dean runs his hands down Castiel. Touching his chest, feeling his waist and eventually, groping his thighs. He feels an unbelievable surge of passion, more intense than anything he's ever felt. He realises that he's not trying to sell this kiss. Every move he makes is completely on instinct and for no other reason than because he really wants to… because he _needs_ to.

Out of pure desire, Cas presses down against Dean and grinds his hips against the other boy's lap.

Dean's eyes fly open in shock at the feel of Cas' erection against him. A deep moan escapes him at the sensation and his own hard-on throbs excitedly. Shock sticks in his throat, he hadn't even realised he'd grown hard. His groan only spurs Cas on further and he pushes into the boy harder, unable to satisfy his sudden lust for him.

Dean doesn't understand what's happening. The situation, sure, this is the step he's willing to take. He just didn't realise how willing he really was.

The desire pumping through his veins rises and he can't help the dirty thoughts running through his mind.

He practically whimpers when Cas breaks the kiss to breath but continues to hold Dean's forehead against his own. Dean can't control himself as he moves to ravenously kiss Cas under his chin. He leaves a trail of fiery kiss along Cas' jaw and down his neck. Dean licks and nibbles at his exposed throat, unable to get enough. Dean would have thought that the stubble on Cas' jaw might put him off but something about it sends Dean over the edge, makes his mouth even more eager to devour Cas' neck. His hands wander up to Castiel's hips and he clutches his hip bones, eager to move around them to his cute, round, perfect butt. Dean doesn't even care enough at this moment to wonder where _that_ came from. He wants to do it but he doesn't, afraid that he may push Castiel too far and subsequently end this.

Cas moans at the sensation of having Dean's lips against his sensitive skin and his body takes over as he rotates his hips slightly in a grinding, thrusting motion. The sound of Cas' moan and the feel of his crotch pressing into Dean's groin causes him to suck and nibble at Cas' neck harder, biting back the temptation to leave a very distinctive love bite. Whatever Cas does, whatever move he makes, only fuels Dean's passion. He's so overcome by lust that he can barely control his actions anymore. He moves his lips up to nibble at Cas' earlobe. Cas moans again and Dean comes undone.

"God Cas," He growls in a hoarse voice, "You're making me so fucking hard."

At his words, Cas's lust intensifies until he's painfully aroused and claims Dean's lips once more. He feels the need to have him, take him right here and now. He wants Dean more than he's ever wanted anything. Cas' brain finds strength to think in the midst of the chaos. He realises that he's about ready to fuck Dean Winchester. Twenty-four hours ago, he hated Dean, and now he's grinding him like some stripper in the back room.

Cas stops and breaks away. Dean stares up at him with confusion in his beautiful, green eyes. He's willing to lose his virginity to a guy he recently thought to be a dick and now, because of some brief quality time and an ill-considered kiss, he's at the guy's mercy.

_No,_ Cas tells himself, _what would Anna think?_

Without a second's hesitation, Cas climbs off of Dean and back into the passenger seat. He can feel Dean's puzzled eyes on him but he doesn't look. Seizing his brief moment of self-control, Cas scurries from the car, mumbling, "I have to go," as he does so.

"Wait," Dean calls but Cas ignores him as he reaches his front door and lets himself in. As soon as the door shuts behind him, he practically collapses against it. He's still panting from the intense session with Dean. _Dean!_ He thinks, _Dean Winchester! I was making out with Dean Winchester!_ It doesn't matter how many times he says it, it still won't feel true. The guy's a dick and yet Cas can't stop thinking about those strong hands on his body, his soft lips against him and the feel of his rock hard crotch against his.

"Stop!" Castiel yells at himself before sighing, "What the hell just happened?" He whispers.

Dean stares after Cas, dazed and confused. He knows he should feel some joy in the fact that he'd almost won his bet but he can't muster the necessary emotions. He just feels emptied by Cas' sudden absence. Why is this happening to him? He's straight! How can a guy make him feel so… whole-heartedly aroused? Cas hadn't even needed to do much. He had turned Dean on with a simple kiss, touch or movement.

"What the fuck just happened?" He whispers.

"Dean…" Cas whispers. It's halfway a moan and halfway a plea.

"What, Cas?" Dean asks between kisses as Cas grinds against him, trying to cause some much needed friction.

Cas merely groans in response.

"Tell me, Cas," Dean pleads as he moves his lips towards the man's neck, "tell me what you want."

Cas digs his nails into Dean's bicep as the lips on his neck causes him to push his body down harder.

"You," Cas growls, "I want you."

At the words, Dean comes undone. It's like Cas' confession frees him from his inhibitions. He practically rips Cas' t-shirt up over his head to reveal his marvellous chest. Dean kisses, licks and sucks his way down Cas' body, mauling his chest with his lips.

Cas gasps at the sensation of Dean's lips all over him and runs his hands through Dean's hair tenderly. Dean grunts, unable to control himself. He picks Cas up, flips him and pushes him down on the bed. He hovers over Cas and nestles his hips between his legs.

Dean eagerly fumbles with Cas' belt as he kisses down his abdomen.

"Oh, Dean," Cas moans again and it spurs Dean on and he can't get Cas' belt off quick enough. He presses his lips against Cas' jeans, latching onto the boy's hard bulge hungrily. Cas shrieks in shock and pleasure and Dean smiles against his crotch. He pulls the zipper down hastily, constantly kissing as he goes.

"Say my name again, Cas," Dean begs as he teases his lover.

"Dean," Cas breathes and it's all Dean needs. He frees Cas' erection and admires it before bringing his mouth to it.

Dean sits up in his bed. He's panting and sweating. He gropes in the darkness, desperately trying to claim what he just had but he has no such luck. Cas isn't here… Only in his head.

Dean lies back down, cursing his subconscious for doing this to him… for the third night in a row!

Dean tries to fight the urge, like he's attempted to do every night this has happened but, once more, he fails. He relives his dream in his imagination and his hand wanders down his stomach and towards his bulge. He hates himself for doing it but he can't fight it. He works himself hard until he orgasms over the image of Cas' beautiful body writhing against his own.

"How was your date?" Meg asks. Dean jumps at her sudden appearance. He rolls his eyes.

"Fine," he says briskly, still cranky over the events of the weekend. It's now Wednesday and he'd done his best to avoid Castiel. He hadn't spoken to Cas since their kiss and he'd spent the majority of the time debating with himself over whether or not to call him. He didn't call him, nor did he receive a message.

"Did you make… Any progress?" She inquires wearing a cheeky grin.

Dean scorches her with his glare, hating her and cursing her for bringing him into this situation that's currently plaguing him with constant, internal torment and confusing but delightful dreams. Who knew that the blue-eyed boy could make him feel so… different?

Dean sighs, "I'm laying the groundwork," he says, not wanting to reveal any juicy information. That's between him and Cas, as far as Dean's concerned. He doesn't want to think about how he's going to get through this wager _without_ revealing information.

"Good," she says, "I'm looking forward to the end result," she winks before leaving.

"Miserable bitch," Dean mumbles under his breath as he packs the rest of his books into his locker and leans against it.

Cas keeps his eyes pinned to his notebook. He can't look up or he'll be too tempted to look at Dean. Dean hadn't spoken to him since their kiss. He's been trying to shake the miserable feeling of being snubbed but he isn't doing a very good job.

Maybe he'd been right not to trust Dean, after all.

Dean sits only a desk in front of Cas. He's so close Cas could touch him, reach out and run his fingers through his hair.

Cas has to focus on his work, otherwise he'll spend the entire math lesson visualising his lips against Dean's neck.

Dean can feel Cas behind him, practically breathing down his neck. He longs to touch him. He wants to talk to him but he fears that he's blown it with Cas. Why would he want to speak to Dean after the horrible things he said? No sane person would.

Dean spares a glance over his shoulder to see Cas staring at his notes. It's as if Cas can read his mind because he glances up at the same time. Dean realises he never should've looked at him. He can ignore the dreams, he can ignore his urges but he can't ignore those eyes.

Dean snaps his attention back to the front.

"Shit," he curses, knowing that he can't help it now.

He scribbles on a piece of paper and slides it onto Cas' desk without looking at him.

Cas takes the note and opens it to read:

_Meet me in the music room after lunch?_

Cas contemplates the question before scrawling down an answer and sliding it to the edge of his desk and coughing. Dean slyly takes the note back and opens it.

**Why?**

Dean rolls his eyes and responds.

_More questions Cas?_

**I'm starting to think that you just say that to avoid answering my questions.**

_I miss you._

_I need to see you._

_I want to talk to you._

_Just… Please, Cas?_

**Fine, Dean, I will meet you there.**

Dean's leg jigs nervously as he waits in the music room. He knows it to be empty after lunch and he needs privacy to see Cas. He sits on one of the two-person desks and waits impatiently.

He sees Cas' bright blue eyes peer into the classroom before the door opens and he steps through.

"Hello Dean," he says simply. Dean wants to attack him then and there, pin him against the wall and have his way with him.

"Cas," he whispers, fighting his temptation.

"How can I help you?" He asks, Dean senses a little weariness.

"I want to apologise," he begins, "about the things I said… I didn't mean…"

"It's fine Dean," Cas cuts him off and sighs, "I get it."

"No you don't, Cas!" He snaps. "You just think I'm a dick!"

Cas looks away, unable to deny it.

"Well…" Cas begins calmly, "You make it pretty easy."

Dean snaps his head up to look at Cas. He's almost in shock, even though he knows that he deserves it. He feels the hurt in his face but then Cas breaks a smile and Dean tries to stop himself but he can't. Laughter breaks through his hurt.

Cas laughs too, thankful that Dean isn't hurt. He moves towards him to sit next to Dean. Their laughter subsides and Dean looks up at the boy next to him.

"I really am sorry you know," Dean admits.

Cas looks down thoughtfully and nods, "I know," he confesses.

"I just…" Dean finally breaks the silence, "I just don't know what I'm feeling, Cas… This is kind of new to me… I've never even _glanced_ at another guy and then I speak to you and, suddenly…"

"Suddenly, what?" Cas asks, intrigued.

"Suddenly I'm going crazy!" He blurts out, "I can't stop thinking about you… I almost called you like a million times… I must've written and then deleted almost fifty messages…" Dean finally breaks his ramble to look up at Cas. Dean tells himself that this is all part of the plan. He can still win this thing if he does some damage control. It still disturbs him, though. How easily he can be convincing without ever having to lie.

Cas looks thoughtful.

"Dean," Cas whispers shyly, "I know you're confused so I really don't blame you for what you said… _I'm_ sorry for leaving like I did but… I was having an internal dispute."

"What were you disputing?"

Cas shrugs. Whatever he's disputing, he doesn't know if it's resolved yet. It depends on Dean's actions, he knows that much, but he doesn't know what exactly he's waiting for. He's waiting for Dean to prove that he's not a dick. So far, he hasn't done a very good job but Cas has sympathy. Dean's struggling with his feelings and Cas wants to give him time to figure it out.

"Whether or not to trust you," he says simply.

"And?" Dean prompts hopefully.

Cas shrugs, "I don't know Dean… The only thing I know for certain is that I wanted that kiss…" Cas looks up at Dean, hoping he hasn't just set him off again. Dean's already staring down at him, smiling. "Even if you regret it," he says sadly.

Dean frowns, "You think I regret it?"

Cas bites his lips, "I assumed… from your silence, that you didn't want to see me again."

"And what do you think now?" Dean asks.

"Like I said, I don't know… All I'm certain of is how much I liked that kiss…" Cas responds, his voice growing lower, and sexier. "And how much I want it again."

"You want to kiss me again?" Dean asks with a smile that won't disappear, no matter how hard he tries.

Cas nods, "Very much so."

Dean gives the room a sweeping glance to make positive that they're alone before advancing on Cas. Dean caresses the other boy's face as their lips meet. The dreams he's been having do not do him justice. The touch is electric. It only gets better when Cas raises his hand and simply lays it on the hand that Dean has against his face. His fingers trace the inside of Dean's wrist. It's a seemingly innocent gesture but it gives him a strange surge of affection for Cas.

A loud moan escapes Dean when Cas takes control and invades his mouth. The kiss doesn't satisfy Dean, only makes him hungrier for the boy.

Dean breaks the kiss, very aware that they are in a classroom… with windows. He rests his forehead against Cas'. He stares at the lips he'd just been kissing and Cas is panting slightly.

Cas' hand encloses tighter around Dean's and he holds it closer to his face and plants a sweet, chaste kiss on the boys palm.

Dean can't justify why the action spreads warmth throughout his whole body.

"Since our relationship is on the mend," Dean begins. Something stirs in Cas at Dean's use of the word 'relationship'. "Would you be willing to spend some more time together?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Come to my house this afternoon?"

"That seems… acceptable."

**Reviews? Please & Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 3

The car park is practically deserted when Dean meets Cas. He's followed by another.

"Sammy… this is Castiel," Dean introduces his brother to his almost-lover.

"Hello Sam," Cas greets as he holds out his hand to be shaken. Sam is younger than Dean but must be at least a whole foot taller than him.

"Hey Castiel," Sam shakes his hand, "It's nice to finally meet you." Sam grins in a peculiar way.

"Finally?" Cas questions, "Has Dean-,"

"Okay," Dean interrupts, "let's go."

Sam slides into the backseat of the Impala, giving Cas shotgun. They take a short drive in moderately awkward silence.

Sam runs up the stairs as soon as they enter and Dean immediately turns to Cas. He pins him roughly against the door and forces their lips together. He parts them hungrily before noticing that Cas' kiss is different than usual. Dean pulls away from him to look at his guarded expression.

"Cas?" He asks, "Is something wrong?"

"'I'm fine," he says bluntly.

Dean steps back, feeling the coldness, "I don't believe you."

Cas rolls his eyes, "I need to ask you something," he says.

"Questions, Cas?" Dean reminds him.

"Avoidance, Dean?" Cas spits back, now clearly frustrated. Dean hates that expression on his face.

"What?" He prompts, mirroring Cas' anger.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen getting into the same car with me?" He asks.

Dean's face gives him away, "No," he denies before turning away and heading into the kitchen. Cas follows reluctantly.

"Really?" He asks with hurt in his voice, "So you didn't just purposely wait until everyone was gone before meeting?"

"No," Dean denies again, a little fiercer, as he heads to the fridge, "Do you want a beer?"

"No, Dean," Cas says, growing more frustrated, "I do not want a beer!"

Dean slams the fridge door closed harder than necessary, "Then what _do_ you want, Cas!?"

He leans against the kitchen counter, sips his beer and stares down Cas.

"I want you to answer the question," he says strongly. Cas is never brave like this. What _is_ it about Dean Winchester? It's like he lights a fire in him… with all emotions.

"I said n-,"

"Truthfully!" Cas yells.

They both glare at each other for a moment as Dean considers his response.

"Dean?" Sam interrupts, his eyes darting between Dean and Cas, like a tennis match. Dean breaks his contact with Cas quickly, not realising that Sam had entered the room.

"Sam," Dean acknowledges in a softer voice.

"Is something wrong?"

"We're fine!" He growls.

"Okay," Sam says suspiciously as he backs out the room, "I've got some more… stuff… to do… upstairs." Sam turns and hurries from the room.

Dean feels the unasked question floating around them, filling the tension. He finally feels brave enough to look back at Cas. _Damn_, he thinks, _those eyes._

"I…" he begins, "May have… wanted to keep our relationship low key."

Cas makes a sound that suggests that that was the answer he was dreading.

"But… I'm not ashamed, Cas," Dean continues, trying to make that sad look disappear from Cas' face. "I… I'm just… getting used to this myself… I don't want to have to explain something to people that I don't yet understand."

Dean turns around to look out the kitchen window, or avoid Cas' eye contact, Cas doesn't know. Cas feels a strange sense of pity. As bad as Dean's actions had make him feel, he's sympathetic. He knows what it's like to feel lost in this particular way. He feels almost guilty for allowing it but he knows he will. Cas will accept this as an inevitable price to pay to be with Dean, assuming that Dean wants to be with him.

Cas covers the distance of the kitchen to get closer to Dean. He stares at his back and contemplates his next move. Hesitantly, he reaches out to firmly grasp Dean's waist. Dean stiffens but doesn't turn or speak. Cas moves his hand over Dean's stomach and wraps his other arm around him so that his hands meet in the middle, over Dean's belly button. He hugs Dean's back into his own stomach. Cas doesn't know if their relationship is at the appropriate level for this type of intimacy but he's willing to take the risk. A second passes before Dean rubs Cas' forearm and sighs contently, leaning his head back against the boy behind him. Cas takes the action as a sign that Dean enjoys it and that he's not overstepping any boundaries.

He leans up to place a soft but amorous kiss against Dean's neck.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispers, "I know you deserve better."

Cas shakes his head against Dean's shoulder blade, "I understand… it's okay."

Dean turns his head to see the familiar blue eyes staring at him from behind his shoulder blade. He smiles softly, "You're amazing Cas."

Cas smiles and pulls away with all the willpower he can muster. He doesn't want Sam to walk in on them again.

"Can I get you anything?" Dean asks but Cas shakes his head before taking the beer from Dean's hand. Dean looks at him as if he's about to say 'hey, that's mine!'

"_You_ have to drive me home later," Cas reminds him, smiling before taking a sip of the beer. Dean glares at him before shoving him playfully and heading to the living room and dragging Cas along with him by his shirt sleeve.

"C'mon," he insists, "I'll let you choose the movie."

"Oh, how gracious of you," Cas quips before heading over to the cabinet and scanning through the DVD's. He scans over the titles, "Do you have anything made in this century?"

Dean scoffs, "I have _good_ taste, thank you… all the new movies are infested with vampires, funny blue aliens, teenage werewolves, hot witches and dorky wizards… all that supernatural stuff turns my stomach."

"Vampires have been in stories for hundreds of years," Cas defends.

"Yes," Dean agrees, "but hundreds of years ago, Dracula didn't sparkle in the daylight."

Cas smiles before selecting a movie title he actually recognises, "Is this good? I've never seen it."

Dean's expression suggests that he can't believe it as his eyes fall on the movie, 'the good, the bad and the ugly'. Dean smiles, "Oh… Cas, my boy… you're in for a treat."

They sit at opposite ends of the couch as the movie starts. Cas sips his beer timidly, wishing he could crawl over and nestle into Dean's neck.

"Cas," Dean calls and then he gestures for him to scoot over. Cas puts his beer on the coffee table and happily follows his instructions until he's pressed right up against Dean. Dean wraps his arm around Cas' shoulder and pulls him in tighter. Cas places a hand over Dean's knee and gently squeezes.

Cas nestles his face into Dean's neck and grazes his lips against his skin. Parting them slightly, he lets his tongue touch Dean's soft and salty flesh. He kisses again, this time introducing his teeth as he softly nibbles at Dean's skin. Dean lets out a moan so subtle that it could be mistaken for breathing… well, to anyone but Castiel.

Cas kisses him more fiercely and brings his hand up to cup Dean's chin and direct it away so he has better access to his neck. Dean's hold on Cas tightens as Cas moves his lips up until he's leaving a trail of delicate kisses along Dean's jaw. He moves back to nibble at Dean's ear. Dean moans again and shifts underneath Cas as he moves his hand from Cas' shoulder and into his hair. He tries to direct Cas to his lips but the boy resists. He tries again, more obviously this time but still, Cas resists.

"Cas," he breathes, "Kiss me."

Cas continuous to kiss his neck as he shakes his head. He opens his mouth wider and licks, bites and sucks at Dean's neck.

"Why not?" Dean whispers breathlessly. Cas sucks harder and Dean's eyes widen. He forcefully pulls at Cas' hair and pries him away, revealing wide eyes and parted lips. Cas groans at the rough contact. Dean raises his eyebrows at the noise but smiles knowingly.

"Are you trying to give me a hickey, Cas?"

Cas grins, "_Trying_?" He emphasises, "trying and succeeding."

"Cas!" Dean growls but he's smiling. He clutches his neck, as if he can feel the red and purplish mark there.

Cas chuckles. He'd never given a hickey before and he had been curious. Dean doesn't want anyone to know about them? Fine! Cas will leave some small claim on Dean in his own way.

Dean shakes his head, "You're unbelievable," he tells Cas but Cas merely laughs.

"Thank you," he grins before pushing Dean back into the couch and finally claiming his lips. Dean's arms envelop him once more and, this time, he purposely tugs at Cas' hair to deepen their kiss. Their tongues meet and Cas sighs. His hand finds Dean's thigh and he squeezes it affectionately. He continues to move his lips in synchronisation with Dean's as he slowly grazes his hand up Dean's thigh, testing him. He slowly inches towards Dean's crotch, waiting for Dean to stop him. Dean's stomach drops when he realises what Cas' hand is edging towards. The thought makes his groin twitch, already erect from Cas' beautiful mouth on his neck.

Cas' hand stops and squeezes before taking it off and ghosting his fingertips over the tight denim hiding Dean's stiff bulge. Dean groans loudly and Cas takes it as a green light. Unexpectedly, he palms Dean's hardness and massages it eagerly.

Dean breaks the kiss but keeps both hands firmly on Cas' face.

"Fucking hell, Cas," he whispers, "You're gonna kill me."

Cas chuckles, he never thought he could make someone ache for him the way Dean does. He never thought that he could have so much_ control_ over someone but he clearly did things to Dean that turned him into, well, putty. He didn't know he was capable of it but he likes it.

Cas moves into him to kiss him once more but footsteps pound down the stairs. Dean taps Cas' shoulder in panic and Cas slides over just in time to see Sam walk into the kitchen.

"Hey, Sammy!" He cheers and Cas can hear the nervousness in his tone and hopes that only he can hear it, "Want to join us?"

Cas hears the fridge open, "Nah," Sam replies. "I think I'm going to Jess' for a while."

There's an uncomfortable vibe in Sam's tone as he pops open the microwave to put something in.

Cas gets a wild idea and grins to himself. He remembers the affect he can have on Dean and can't help himself. He slowly reaches over to Dean's lap, knowing that Sam can't possibly see over the couch. Cas resumes his petting and feels satisfied at the wide-eyed look he gets from Dean.

"Cas!" Dean growls in a low voice as he grasps Cas' wrist to try and remove his hand.

Cas slaps Dean's attempts away and continues fondling. Dean's expression looks murderous until Cas presses down a little harder and Dean's eyes close and he grits his teeth to supress a moan. Sam busies himself around the kitchen and Dean tenses but doesn't try and remove Cas' hand.

Cas hears Sam's retreating steps up the stairs and removes his hand, chuckling. Dean lets out a huge gust of air. Cas guesses he'd been holding his breath.

"_That_ was cruel," Dean says.

"No," he says through fits of laughter, "_That_ was funny."

"You're gonna get it, Cas," Dean warns.

"Oh yeah?" Cas provokes before leaning in closer to Dean, "Prove it."

Dean smiles wickedly before grabbing Cas by the hips and yanking him towards him. The movement knocks Cas onto his back so that he's lying on the couch. Without a second's delay, Dean launches himself onto Cas, claiming his lips and pressing down against his body. Cas shifts so that Dean can nestle between his legs and press closer against him. His hands automatically run up Dean's shirt to touch his bare stomach. Dean locks both of Cas' hands in one of his to stop his movements and pin them over his head. Cas pouts in protest and Dean thinks it's the most adorable thing he's ever seen.

A honking sound breaks Dean's concentration and he moves off Cas and pulls him into a sitting position before Sam comes running down the stairs.

"See you guys later," he calls, "It was great to meet you, Castiel!"

"You too Sam." Cas replies as Sam disappears behind the door. Cas is reminded of what Sam said to him upon their meeting.

"Thank God," Dean whispers before pulling Cas next to him again.

Cas stops Dean's attempts to kiss him, "Have you been talking to Sam about me?" Cas asks.

Dean blushes, "Um… maybe."

Cas smiles, "What have you said?" He frowns curiously, "Have you told him about us?"

Dean coughs, "No… it's not that I… just."

"Just, what?"

Dean sighs, "He's been complaining to me that I don't shut up about you," he blurts out. Cas tries to wipe the grin off his face but he can't. The happiness he feels is overwhelming. "I don't know how to talk to others about it," he continues, "but Sam… I can talk to him… not _everything_ but enough."

Cas nods with a satisfied grin on his face.

Dean coughs uncomfortably, "So, how many, uhh… boyfriends… have you had?"

Cas' smile drops and he mimics Dean's awkward behaviour, "Umm… well… none."

"What!?" Dean asks, "You're kidding, why not?"

Cas shrugs, "I never had the opportunity."

"OK, well, how many people have you _been_ with?"

Cas' silence says it all.

"Cas, are you a virgin?" Dean asks in a very surprised tone.

"Yes."

"How is that possible?" Dean asks in disbelief. Not because he thinks that a seventeen year old virgin is sad, like most people would, but because he can't believe no one else has ever gotten close enough to Cas to realise how amazing he is.

"I've just never wanted to before…" Cas gulps, "I'm… very shy."

Dean thinks of the afternoon's events and laughs, "That's funny… you seem pretty brazen with me."

Cas smiles, "Yeah… I'm not quite sure why that is."

"Maybe you feel comfortable with me."

"Maybe."

They share a meaningful glance before Dean continues, "First kiss?"

"Almost a week ago now," Cas says without thinking.

"WHAT?" Dean yells, "_I _was your first kiss?"

"Yes."

Dean looks away, smirking, feeling a little proud. Cas notices his glee.

"Well… good," Dean says finally.

Cas blushes and looks at the TV.

"How'd you know that you were… you know… gay?"

"Umm… I don't know… I just _knew_… I was more attracted to men than women and… after my time with you… well, now I know for sure."

Dean grins to himself. He can't believe Cas is a virgin but, at the same time, he kind of likes it. He likes that he'll be his first. _He'll be his first?_ He asks himself. _Apparently I've already decided that I'll be having sex with Cas. When did that happen?_

Dean bites his lip thoughtfully. In the back of his mind, Dean's trying to celebrate that he's already won his bet but he can't. All he can think is how the hell did this happen? A week ago he was himself: a straight, red-blooded, American, teenage boy and now… he's with Cas. He wants Cas, all of him. After it happens, he'll no longer be able to deny his homosexual feelings, he'll officially be gay. Dean isn't sure if he's ready for that, despite how desperately he wants it. He also knows that he can't do it with this wager hanging over his head. His guilt is immense; he'll have to call it off. Cas can never find out that he started this for a hundred bucks, it would kill him… it would kill their relationship. _Relationship_, Dean thinks to himself, _how strange that it makes me happy to think of it in that way._

Cas notices Dean's change in behaviour, "So, where are your parents?" Cas wonders, trying to change the subject.

Dean coughs and Cas wishes he'd chosen a different subject, "They're uhh… dead," he admits, "My mum died when Sammy was a baby and my died passed away a few years ago… Car accident."

Cas nods, "Sorry," he says.

Dean shrugs, "It's fine… Sammy and I live with Bobby now… He was of my Dad's best friends and he takes care of us. He's at the garage today." Dean looks to Cas, "What about you?"

Cas swallows, "Uhh… Same," he replies, "My mother died young and my father skipped out on us… My older brothers raised me." Chills run down Cas' spine. He hadn't mentioned his brothers – _plural_ – in years.

"And now you live with Gabriel?" Dean prompts. "Do you speak to the rest of your family?"

"Uhh… no," Cas admits, "My brothers – Michael and Lucifer – aren't very nice people… They…" Cas coughs, "They… were abusive," he finally admits. He shocks himself with his revelations, he'd never told anyone about his brothers, only Gabriel knows. He doesn't wait for Dean to fuss over him with his pity, "Gabe was the only person to protect me… he took me away… dropped out of school to get a job so that he could support us."

"Oh," Dean begins, overwhelmed with emotion, "Cas, that's awful… I'm so sorry."

Cas tries to shake it off, "It's over now," he says and tugs his sleeves further down in an automatic response.

As much as Cas tries to remain impassive, Dean sees right through him. Cas isn't just sad, there's fear in his tone.

Dean reaches up to skim his thumb over Cas' bottom lip, "Cas…" Dean whispers but Cas keeps his eyes on his hand, "Cas, look at me."

In an instance, Cas' eyes find Dean's. Dean wants to reassure him but now he wonders if it's his place. Cas' eyes tell him to screw it.

"I don't know if this means anything… or if it's my place but… I want you to know that, now that I'm here… I…" Dean trails off.

"Yes, Dean?"

"I…" Dean tries again, "I'm not going to let anything hurt you."

Cas frowns and Dean wonders if he's come on too strong. His stomach drops as Cas leans in and presses his lips against Deans. Dean will never know how much his words mean to Cas.

Cas nibbles and sucks at Dean's bottom lip, seizing it between his teeth. Cas bites gently and tugs against the flesh. Dean groans at Cas' playful kiss before forcing their lips together harder, needing to have every bit of his mouth touching Cas.

Dean grips Cas' hair tightly. Cas moves his hands over Dean's shoulders before griping his shirt firmly and pulling him down on top of him. Dean lies between Cas' legs and balances his weight on his elbows. Cas' hands clutch at Dean's shirt and tugs it over his head, only breaking their kiss as the fabric comes between them. Dean's amulet rests against Cas' chest as Dean parts his lips and deepens their kiss. Cas runs his hands over Dean's firm, smooth back and digs his nails into the skin desperately. Dean lets out a cry of pain and pleasure and grinds against Cas harder. Cas bucks against Dean and wraps his legs around the boy to bring him closer, yearning for some kind of friction.

Dean's hands run down Cas' body to caress the boy's stomach. He slips his hand under Cas' shirt to touch his bare skin before tugging at the shirt concealing it. Cas' hands flash down to Dean's to stop him. Dean pulls away to question Cas.

"Don't" Cas whispers gravely. Dean frowns, "Just don't," Cas begs.

Dean nods, "Okay," he whispers, not wanting to push him before moving his hands to a safer place. He cups Cas' chin before parting his lips with his tongue eagerly.

Cas' hands trail down Dean's back until they reach his firm buttocks and, after summoning a great amount of courage, he squeezes, pressing Dean into him even harder.

"Cas," Dean moans. "God…" Cas smiles against the boy, knowing exactly what he's doing to him and wanting to continue. Without thinking, Cas flips Dean over so that he may claim the top position, forgetting that Dean's couch isn't a double bad. Cas and Dean topple awkwardly to the floor.

"Shit!" Dean curses before bursting into a fit of laughter.

Cas laughs too, "I'm sorry!" He cries but Dean just laughs, looking up at Cas straddling him and placing a hand against the boy's cheek. Cas spares a moment to take in Dean's beauty. He bites his lip at the look of Dean's beautiful, flawless skin and muscular physique. Dean notices his distraction and smiles.

"Come here," he orders before guiding Cas down to kiss him again. Cas runs his hands over Dean's body, unable to satisfy his lust just yet.

Their tongues move in sync together and Cas can't help but nibble at Dean's lip again. Unable to control himself any longer, Cas' hands find Dean's belt. He fumbles over the buckle trying, desperately, to remove it.

Dean's heartbeat quickens as he realises Cas' intentions. His erection throbs at the mere thought of having Cas' hands around it, or touching it in _any_ way. Cas breaks the kiss to sit up and he finally unbuckles the belt before moving on to Dean's zipper.

"Oh Cas," Dean mumbles earnestly before reaching out to touch Cas and latching his own hands onto the boy's pants.

"No Dean," Cas growls as he knocks away Dean's hands from his groin, "Just let me do this for you." Cas unleashes the power of his pleading eyes on Dean, forcing him to submit.

"Okay," Dean breathes before lying back down and letting his hands fall to his chest, aching to touch or kiss Cas again. Cas doesn't hesitate as he reaches into Dean's briefs to wrap his hand around his member. Cas smiles in satisfaction as Dean practically shrieks at the sudden contact. Cas uses his other hand to pull down Dean's underwear. Dean gasps at the sudden coolness surrounding his package. Cas begins to pump vigorously, not wasting any time.

"Oh God, Cas!" Dean cries. Cas leans back over to devour Dean's mouth in earnest as he continues to moves his hand up and down, gaining speed and rubbing his thumb in circles around the tip.

Dean's hands clutch at Cas' face as he uses his mouth to stifle his moans. He invades Cas' mouth, his tongue tasting every bit of him as his lust causes him to be so earnest that the kiss is sloppy, wet and fierce.

Cas welcomes the urgency as he continues to work Dean.

"Oh, fuck Cas," Dean moans into the boy's mouth, "I'm gonna…"

"It's okay Dean," Cas assures him, "do it… I want to make you."

"Arghh," Dean groans again, panting hard, "Cas…" He breathes, "Oh, Cas!"

Dean moans loudly before erupting, spilling himself all over his own stomach. Cas continues to rest his forehead against Dean's as the boy breathes into Cas' mouth, trying to catch his breath.

"Wow," Dean whispers and Cas smiles.

Cas stirs and tries to open his eyes. He looks around, trying to recognise his surroundings. He stops when he looks up to see Dean's sleeping face. A snore erupts from deep in his chest and Cas wonders how he slept through that. Cas had fallen asleep on Dean's chest, enclosed in his arms. Dean and he had managed to crawl back up on the couch before falling asleep.

As hard as it is to tear himself away from Dean's peaceful, sleeping state, Cas looks around to make sure they're alone, hoping that Sam didn't come home and see them… for Dean's sake.

There are no lights on, despite it being dark outside. The TV is the only thing allowing Cas to see. Cas pulls out his phone to check the time. There's a message from Gabe.

_Yo, bro… What time will you be home?_

**I don't know… give me an hour or so.**

_I sent that message two hours ago… What have you been doing? ;)_

Cas rolls his eyes before texting back.

**Sleeping, Gabe… I fell asleep.**

_Sure you did… you little tart… and if that's actually true… I kind of feel sorry for your new boyfriend._

**You're not funny.**

_I'm hilarious._

Cas tucks his phone away before returning to his position on Dean's chest. He plants a kiss against Dean's chest, and then another. He moves his mouth up to Dean's neck and licks, bites and sucks. Dean rouses but doesn't wake. Cas grins to himself before heading back to his chest and running his tongue over Dean's nipple. Dean moans in his sleep. Cas continues to circle it with his tongues and nibble gently.

He traces Dean's abs before running his fingers down his stomach. Cas ghosts his fingers over Dean's briefs, arousing him into consciousness. Dean stirs and opens his heavy eyelids to see a smiling Cas.

"Cas?" He asks, "What time is it?"

Cas thinks Dean's sleepy voice could damn well be one of the sexiest things he's ever heard before.

"It's almost eight," he says.

"What!?" Dean yells before launching into a sitting position.

"I don't think anyone's home," Cas soothes him.

"Oh," he says, rubbing his eyes, trying to adjust himself.

"What time is Bobby due home?" Cas asks.

Dean yawns loudly, "Uhh… I don't know… He should be home already but it's likely he went to the roadhouse, in which case I'll get a drunken Taxi request in an hour or two."

Cas nods, "Oh… So, we have some time?"

Dean grins in response. Cas straddles Dean in a simple, quick movement. He runs his hands into his hair and crushes his mouth to Dean's. Dean groans in response as Cas presses his groin into Dean's lap. Dean grows hard almost instantly at the feel of Cas' erection, already hard from his one-sided foreplay.

Dean smiles against his lover's mouth, "Is it my turn now?" Dean asks in a sultry voice.

Cas breaks the kiss to look into Dean's eyes as he nods, "Can we go upstairs?" He asks, pressing his lips against Dean's again.

Dean nods furiously, "God, yes," he says in-between kisses with lust deep in his voice. Cas wraps his legs around Dean as he stands, easily carrying Cas. Dean climbs the stairs carefully, kissing Cas in the process. He trips on the last step, stumbles but steadies himself by leaning Cas against the wall. Cas giggles and it triggers Dean's laughter.

"Don't laugh," Dean begs.

Cas laughs harder, "I'm sorry baby," he says.

Dean grins widely, biting his lip, "Baby?" Cas shrugs and Dean licks his lips, "I like that," he says before kissing his… _baby?_ No, that doesn't suit Cas. Dean will have to think of something else. Cas is more of an… Angel.

Dean moves off the wall and stumbles into his bedroom hastily. He makes it to his bed before dropping Cas down and ravishing his neck hungrily.

"Dean…" Cas breathes, bucking his hips in desperation to feel Dean.

Dean nibbles at his angel's neck, biting and sucking. Cas' moans only spur him on.

"Dean… please," Cas begs, "I need you."

Dean moans at the sound of his lover's pleading, "What Cas?" Dean prompts through quivering breaths, "Tell me what you want."

"You," Cas whispers, forcing Dean to give him his lips, "Fuck me, Dean."

Dean stiffens, his whole body tenses over Cas, "What?" He asks in a shaky voice.

"Please Dean," Cas begs, mistaking Dean's reluctance for lust, perhaps shock.

Cas' face falls when Dean shakes his head, "No, Cas," Dean whispers. Cas' expression grows pained.

"What?" He implores, "Why not?"

"I can't."

This time Cas looks murderous, "Oh, I get it… Happy to let me jerk you off but sleeping with me… That's too gay, right?"

Dean's eyes widen, "What?! No!"

"Get off me!" Cas demands.

"Cas-,"

"Get off!" Cas silences Dean by pushing him off and jumping out from under him.

"Cas… That's not what I meant!" Dean calls but Cas is already out the door. Dean grunts in frustration at himself. "Ffff-ark!" He yells before launching his fist at the wall. He gets up to chase after him. "Good work, dickhead!" Dean yells at himself as he runs down the stairs just in time to see Cas disappear behind the front door. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Dean grabs his shirt off the floor, pulls it over his head. He searches for his keys but he can't remember where he left them. He curses some more as he stumbles all over the kitchen, looking for his keys and a jacket. He finds both and heads out the door. He can't see Cas. He jumps into the Impala and sets off towards Cas' house.

"You stupid fuck!" Dean yells, he can't believe he let himself hurt Cas like that, he would have to explain, but how could he explain? He wants Cas, oh god does he want Cas! But he can't do this, not like this and not with this stupid wager hanging over his head.

He spots Cas on the pathway and slows down, matching his speed.

Dean winds down the window, "Cas!" He calls but the boy ignores him, "Cas! Get in the car."

"Leave me alone, Dean," Cas replies calmly, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

"Cas, c'mon, please?" Dean continues to yell, "Let me drive you home."

"No," Cas replies bluntly.

"Cas! Please! I'm not letting you walk home! I'll drive like this all night if I have to!"

"Well then, that's what you'll be doing!" Cas yells, finally sparing a scorching glare in Dean's direction. "Now please, Leave. Me. A-lone."

"Cas!" Dean yells, now frustrated, "Just talk to me…"

"Get lost!" Cas calls back.

"Damn it, Cas!" Dean cries, "Why are you so mad?"

Cas finally comes to a halt to face Dean, who stomps on the breaks, "I don't know, Dean… maybe because my alleged boyfriend or whatever doesn't want to have sex with me! How would you feel?" Cas feels weird using the term 'boyfriend' but he can't think of a better way to describe it in the heat of the moment. Dean feels sudden pleasure at the term but bites back his smile, this isn't the time.

Dean glances away and chews on his lip, "It's not that I don't want to, Cas! You know that!"

"Right…" Cas laughs bitterly and Dean snaps his concentration back to him, "you just can't because that would mean you're gay, right?!"

"Cas! It's not like that! I promise!" Dean yells, louder than ever.

"Then what's it like!? Please explain it to me Dean because I'm having a little trouble understanding!"

Dean breaths deeply, trying to calm himself before putting his baby in park and stepping out of the car. Cas waits until Dean walks around the Impala to lean against the hood.

"I'm not ready, Cas… Okay?! This is my first time with," he pauses, trying to word his explanation carefully, "you know… and it's your first time with anyone… I don't want to just screw you in a hurry… trying to finish the job before Bobby or Sam walk in."

Cas grows quiet and Dean fights his temptation to look at him. Cas wants to believe him but he's still fuming. Dean's words calm him but he's still too angry to touch Dean like he wants to. He needs time. Dean finally looks to Cas, standing awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

Dean sighs, "Just…" he begins, "at least let me drive you home."

Cas meets Dean's eye contact and sees the sadness in them. Cas merely nods.

The drive is quiet… so silent, it's almost painful. Dean thinks about breaking it a million times but he doesn't. They both let it hang there.

Dean finally pulls into Cas' driveway. They sit there for a moment and Dean takes it as a good sign that Cas doesn't just leave right away.

"Cas…" Dean begins.

"I'll speak to you later, Dean," Cas says definitively before exiting the car in a hurry. Dean sighs before pulling out of his angel's driveway, feeling like shit.

**Reviews? Please & Thank you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Finally have some smut! Enjoy!**

Dean searches in his locker for some change for a coffee… or at least a Coke. He didn't get much sleep last night. He spent half the night talking himself out of texting Cas and the other half imagining what would've happened had he not been a total ass and had his way with him.

Dean gives up and turns around see Ash who pulls him into a bro-mantic hug.

Dean tries to listen as Ash rambles on about his weekend. Dean's concentration is broken by a beautiful and familiar laugh. He recognises the haughty, deep chuckle but this time it's different. He's actually laughing hysterically, without reservation. Dean thinks it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. He turns towards the noise to see Cas struggle against his redheaded friends' wrestling grip. She has him in a head lock. Cas struggles against her in an awkward position. He's bent over with his head at level with her hip. They're both laughing as Cas pushes her against the lockers, trying to struggle free.

He finally breaks her hold and she shoves him playfully. It looks like she's picking on him for something but he can't hear them.

"You dirty, dirty dog!" he hears Anna yell above the chatter in the corridor. Cas is smiling and blushing as he tries to hush her. Dean can't help but hope that they're talking about him. He longs to make him blush like that. Anna's eyes flash to Dean's and he drops his stare. He almost smiles to himself, knowing that they _are_ talking about him and glad that the conversation is making Cas smile, he's clearly in a better mood.

Seeing Cas' face makes him ache for his touch.

"I thought you were against it?" Cas asks Anna.

She shrugs, "I'm totally against it but… you seem… happy," she observes, "There must be something good about him."

Cas tries not to look at Dean, leaning against the lockers, less than ten metres away from him. He can't help himself, he spares a glance and meets Dean's gaze before both of them look away.

Anna had been trying to beat information out of Cas for the last few days now. She was desperate to know what happened on the weekend between him and Dean. He had been reluctant because of the way Dean had recently acted but he finally gave in. He was still in odd sorts over it but, when he spoke about it to Anna, he couldn't help the smile that graced his lips at the memory.

"Are you going out again?" Anna asks and Cas shrugs.

"I guess… I don't know… he's a little weird," he tells her.

"What do you mean weird?"

"He's reluctant… I doubt he's even going to acknowledge me at school…"

Anna looks outraged, "That dick! Why not?"

Cas gives her his best 'give him a break' expression, "It's not like that," he defends, although he doesn't know why, he was just as angry himself, "He's… complicated. I mentioned him being gay and he snapped… I think he's just confused…"

"That's no excuse!" She yells and Cas has to hush her again.

Cas shakes his head, "It's not easy to be in his situation, Anna… I've been there, believe me." A strange sadness fills Cas' eyes and Anna's heart warms.

"Sorry, Cas…" She says, "So what happened after he snapped?"

Cas grins at the memory, "He stuck his tongue down my throat," he bites his lips to attempt to hide the lust now dominating his expression.

Anna looks like she can't decide if she's shocked or amused and then Cas corrects, "Well, technically… I stuck _my_ tongues down _his_ throat."

"Oh my gosh," she gushes, "I can't believe you! You're so… bold… I never thought I'd see the day."

Cas smiles, "I know," he agrees, "I don't know what it is about him… he makes me… different… brave." He grins to himself, disbelieving.

Anna looks as if she can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing, Cas loves it.

"So what happened after the kiss?"

"I bolted," he admits, not wanting to tell her that it was because he was scared of what he'd wanted to do with him. "Then he didn't speak to me for days… and then he asked me out on another date and that brought us to last night… and," Cas pauses, blushing, "well, you know." He says, not wanting to repeat what he's already told her. Anna had beaten the truth out of him and he'd blurted out that he'd given him a hand job, unable to keep it to himself. He didn't, however, let her know that he'd begged Dean to fuck him and had been rejected.

"Well, he's confusing!"

"I told you," Cas continues, "Complicated."

Dean had thought he could resist Cas to give him space but he was wrong. Seeing Cas, laughing and blushing like he is, makes Dean want to see him _now_.

Cas pointedly ignores Dean's glare as he passes him. Dean acts on instinct. He moves quickly and trips Cas over, sending him flying, making it look like they merely bumped into each other. Cas looks up to Dean in shock. _Was Dean actually going to pick on him?_ He thinks, _is this a sick joke?_

"Oh, shit," Dean blurts out, "I'm sorry man," he apologises and leans down to offer Cas a hand. He pulls him up into a sitting position so that Dean's mouth is inches from his ear.

"Meet me in the music room again," he whispers quickly before standing and pulling Cas up with him. Cas still looks confused but he doesn't reveal anything else.

"Sorry again," Dean repeats.

"Don't worry about it," Cas says awkwardly as he tries to regain his dignity. Dean sweeps a glance over the people around him, making sure no one is looking directly at him, except for Cas.

"I miss you," Dean mouths, only for Cas to see. He feels pleased by the returning smile Cas gives him before he walks away with Anna.

Dean had to dodge Meg's attempts at conversation before heading to the music room. He practically runs to the door, catching the image of Cas pacing nervously with his thumb nail between his teeth.

"Cas…" Dean says in a voice that makes it sound like he hasn't seen him in years. Cas looks up and melts, "Listen… about last night…"

"Don't," Cas cuts him off, "Dean… you don't need to explain… you're clearly going through some weird, personal stuff… I get it," Dean thinks he hears some sadness behind the understanding. "I was thinking… maybe we should cool it for a bit…"

"No!" Dean yells and then, realising his eagerness, feels embarrassed. Cas, however, smiles at him. Cas hadn't wanted to stop anything between them but he wanted to give Dean whatever space he required. "I mean," Dean continues, "I don't want to stop seeing you… I don't think I _could_ stop seeing you."

Cas smiles a little too happily, "In that case… I should apologise… I'm clearly a little… eager."

Dean smirks, "I enjoy that," he admits.

"I'm glad but… I'm a little…"

"What, Cas?" Dean asks, seeing Cas' face darken a little.

"Embarrassed," he confesses, "I'm not usually like this, Dean."

Dean shakes his head, "Do _not_ feel embarrassed for that, Cas… and please… for the love of God… don't change."

Cas smiles and blushes uncontrollably, even more than he was before. Dean's heart soars and he smiles back.

"I love it when you blush," Dean admits, staring at Cas, fantasising about those lips.

Cas blushes harder and coughs uncomfortably and it shakes Dean from his reverie. He looks away, unable to believe that he'd just said that.

_Well, you're practically full-blown gay now anyway_, he thinks to himself.

"Anyway… I've thought about it more now, anyway and I'm glad you stopped," Cas says but it only causes Dean to frown.

"What?" Dean asks, clearly devastated. Cas can't stand that looks on his face. "Why?"

"I still _want_ to Dean," he clarifies and Dean relaxes. Cas practically laughs, whole-heartedly pleased with himself for being able to stir that kind of reaction from Dean, _just_ by removing the prospect of sex. "I just… agree, I guess, I'm still having a few… Internal disputes."

Dean groans, more internal disputes.

"About what?" He asks, almost sourly.

"You," he answered honestly.

"What about me?"

"I'm still torn…" He smiles a cheeky to himself, knowing that bold side to him that only Dean brings out is about to rear it's brazen head, "between my suspicion of you and my desire to take you into my bedroom and fuck your brains out."

Dean feels his cock twitch to form an immediate erection, "Fucking hell, Cas," he whispers before launching at him. He grasps the front of his shirt and thrusts him against the wall before pinning him with his body and eagerly devouring his lips.

Cas parts his lips immediately, welcoming Dean's urgent kiss. He feels Dean's groin pushing against his own and it causes him to roll his hips, begging for more.

Dean breaks the kiss for breath, "Fuck Cas," he whispers against his mouth, "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Seduce you," he says simply and Dean frowns and tilts his head.

"I thought… you were internally disputing?"

Cas grins, "All of a sudden… I'm leaning towards the latter."

Dean bites his bottom lip to hide his mischievous smile, "C'mon," he says, tugging at Cas' hand, pulling him towards the exit.

"What? Where are we going?"

"Just… come on."

Cas lets himself be dragged out into the school's corridor. Dean sweeps the place with his eyes, making sure it's vacant before pulling Cas along as he runs down the empty hall.

"Dean?" Cas asks, "Where are we going?"

"Shh," Dean hisses before opening the janitor's closest. He pushes Cas through and launches in after him, shutting and locking the door. He reaches for the light to reveal a disgruntled Cas.

"Dean, what the he-,"

Dean silences Cas with his lips, pushing his lover against the door. Dean's hands immediately drop as he attacks Cas' belt buckle.

"Dean, what're y-,"

Dean silences him with a deeper kiss as he un-clasps Cas' belt. He pulls back as he unzips Cas' jeans and let them fall to the floor.

"I've wanted to do this for so long, now," Dean whispers before dropping to his knees. The shock sends as a wave of excitement through Cas. He doesn't have time to marvel in the moment before Dean pulls his briefs down and swallows Cas' erection in one movement.

"Oh, God," Cas cries, half out of pleasure and half out of shock. Dean grins as he licks Cas' shaft from base to tip and laps at his lover's slit. With his hand at the base, Dean fills his mouth with Cas and bobs his head in a rhythmic beat.

Cas' hands find Dean's hair and he grips it tightly, overwhelmed with pleasure, "Oh fuck, Dean!" He groans loudly. Dean moves quicker and more enthusiastically. He rolls his wrist to create a stronger rhythm and moves his tongue along Cas' member hungrily.

"Oh my God!" Cas enthuses, "Dean that's… so good."

Dean hums appreciatively at Cas' moans, sending vibrations to his lover's sensitive cock.

"You like that, Angel?" Dean breaks away to ask, continuing his rhythmic pump with his hand.

"Yes," Cas breathes, "I love it, Dean."

Cas' head falls back against the door as his eyes fall shut. He grips Dean's hair tighter and bites his lip stifle his moans.

"Tell me," Dean implores, "tell me, Angel."

"I…" Cas pants, "I love it when you suck me off, baby." Dean moans and eagerly forces his mouth on Cas' shaft once more. Cas groans so loud that if anyone were to walk past the closest, they would surely hear. It only makes Dean harder.

Cas builds as Dean works him, his orgasm rising inside of him. Dean can sense it and sucks harder and faster, moving his tongue expertly.

"Dean…" Cas pants, "Dean… I'm gonna…"

Dean opens his mouth wider, allowing Cas to thrust into his throat, erupting as he grabs Dean's hair and pushes himself deeper into him. Dean gags but holds himself in place as Cas' load expels into his mouth. He swallows eagerly, tasting Cas and loving it.

Cas pants as Dean cleans him off with his tongues. When he's satisfied that Cas' is clean, he pulls away and stands up. Cas looks exhausted and full frontally satisfied. Dean grins, completely pleased with his accomplishment.

"That was even more fun that I imagined," Dean teases before placing a quick but sensual kiss against Cas' lips. He pulls away and laughs as he escapes the closest, leaving Cas to catch his breath and compose himself.

Cas can hear Dean's laughter fade away and he leans against the closet door, feeling weak in the knees. He smiles and shakes his head in memory of Dean's every move.

Dean sneaks a kiss and a grope from Cas in the janitor's closest before leaving for Ash's. He drops Sammy home and goes straight to his friend's house for their usual Friday night get together. In the few short moments that Cas and Dean were alone, they'd been unable to keep their hands to themselves. Any moment spent apart, Dean was either messaging Cas or thinking about him.

His friends have already started to notice his new, strange behaviour and he needed to redeem himself, as much as he'd rather spend the time with Cas.

Dean arrives at Ash's and heads straight to the party room, which is just a fancy word for a few couches, a fridge and a pool table in his mother's basement.

Dean's early but he'd planned it that way so he could leave earlier. What was happening to him? He used to live for getting drunk on the weekends and now he was so CAS-obsessed that he was thinking and acting totally differently.

By six, all the usual people arrive. They spend the night playing pool, drinking beer or sharing a bud. Dean manages to minimise his conversations and drinks by himself on the couch. Dean's already downed six beers out of pure boredom.

His night gets worse by the presence of Meg who comes to sit by him.

"Hey Deany, baby," she greets and Dean feels the urge to yell at her and tell her that only Cas may call him that.

"Go away, Meg," Dean tells her.

Meg raises her eyebrows, "Aw, you hurt my feelings, Dean… why so… defensive?" She puts on a fake pout but Dean knows that she's enjoying herself.

"I'm just not in the mood for your crap today, Meg," Dean snaps.

"Well… Someone's in a bad mood," she observes and Dean ignores her. "Are you in a grouchy mood because you're losing our bet?" Deans hates her for the reminder.

Dean rolls his eyes, "Get lost, Meg."

She smiles, "Oh… sounds like I hit a nerve… I guess you're not as irresistible as you think…" Meg meets Dean's glare with a smug look before leaving Dean alone.

Dean's friend Jo comes over to offer him shots and Dean takes them eagerly, trying to force himself not to care about what Meg just said.

It gets to eight 'o' clock and Dean's already drunk. He's no longer concerned about Meg but now he can't stop thinking about Cas and he's too drunk to care about anything else. Dean decides to go home but Jo insists on walking him there to make sure he doesn't kill himself and then Dean kicks up a fuss about Jo walking back by herself so Ash agrees to come to.

Dean stumbles home and only stops once to throw up. He finally makes it home, crawls up the stairs, takes out his phone, strips off all his clothes and collapses on the bed.

He opens the phone and calls Cas, after three rings he answers.

"Hello?" The familiar husky voice answers.

"Cas!" Dean muses, "Cas… I… I miss you."

Cas chuckles, "Dean… you saw me earlier today… It's only been five hours."

"Yeah, well… that's a really long time."

Cas laughs again, "How much have you had to drink?"

"I only had six beers," Dean slurs.

"And?" Cas prompts.

"And," Dean stalls, "some shots, maybe… I don't know how many."

Cas rolls his eyes, "I see…"

"Cas! I miss you."

"Yes, you said that."

Dean chuckles stupidly and Cas laughs at him.

"I wish you were here, Cas…"

"Yeah… me too… I'd hate to miss you this drunk."

"Hey Cas… guess what."

"What?"

"I'm naked here, you know."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, Dean… What is it you want me to do about that?"

"You get naked, too."

"What?" Cas chuckles.

"Get naked, Cas," Dean orders, "I want to think about you doing what I'm about to… while I'm doing it."

A loud laugh bursts from Cas' lips, "What!?" Cas continues to laugh, "Dean, you are sooo drunk."

"Shut up and get naked, Angel."

"Okay, okay," Cas shushes him, removing his clothes, actually growing excited over what they're about to do. "You don't have to be so bossy, Winchester."

"Are you naked?" Dean asks again.

Cas removes his briefs and slides under his bed covers, "Yes," he says.

"Good… now talk to me," he prompts.

"I am talking to you."

"No, Cas… _talk_ to me."

"Oh… right… Umm… Dean, I don't know what to say," Cas confesses, feeling a little shy.

"Okay," Dean begins and moves his hand down to his member, "I'm rubbing my cock and imaging that it's your hand."

Cas gasps, feeling his erection grow, "Fuck Dean, are you really touching yourself?"

"Yes, Cas," Dean smiles.

"Fuck me," Cas curses, "Dean… that's so unbelievably hot." Cas voice is like a growl and it makes Dean's hand move faster.

"I wish I could watch you," Cas says, "Next time you suck my dick, I want you touch yourself."

"Fuck, Cas… Say more stuff like that."

Cas smiles to himself, "Do you like it when I talk dirty, Winchester?"

"Yes," Dean moans.

"You know… for a guy who claims to be straight you're exceptionally good at sucking dick."

Cas' words are rewarded with a loud moan on the other end of the phone.

"It's only for you, baby," Dean responds.

"Good… That's how I want you… Only for me."

"Cas… you're so sexy when you're possessive."

"I can't wait until you decide to fuck me, Dean," Cas says, causing Dean to groan loudly, "you know, it's only a matter of time."

"I know, Cas… I want to fuck your brains out…" Dean says, too drunk to tell himself to tread lightly, "that tight, little ass of yours is just begging for it."

Cas moans loudly, "Fuck, I want you with me right now."

"Cas… please tell me you're touching yourself," Dean begs. Cas doesn't think twice before wrapping his hand around his own shaft. The thought of Dean doing the exact same thing drives him crazy.

"I am now, Dean," Cas says. "But I want your lips instead of my hand…"

"Me too, baby… I want to taste you."

"God, that's hot."

"Cas… I'm so close…"

"Picture me riding your cock, Dean," Cas blurts out.

"Oh, fuck," Dean yells and ejaculates instantly.

Cas smirks to himself, proud that he could cause that. Dean's moans send Cas over the edge and he loses himself in his orgasm.

"That was…" Dean begins, "oh my God, Cas… you're… you're _dirty _when you want to be."

Cas smiles, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should" Dean sighs happily, "Hmm, that was fun, Cas."

"Yes," Cas agrees, "I enjoyed that… Can I see you tomorrow? I'm eager to practice what I've preached."

Dean smiles, "I wish I could but I'm helping Bobby at the garage tomorrow… Don't know how long I'll be but I can see you Sunday?"

"Sure," Cas agrees, "Can't wait."

"I'll message you tomorrow, Angel," Dean assures him.

"Goodnight," Cas says simply before hanging up.

Cas sits on his bed with his book open at the algebra homework he's been trying to finish. He's been staring at the paper for over an hour now and has made no progress. He's too preoccupied with waiting to hear from Dean. The only contact they'd had was when Dean texted him at one that afternoon.

_Been up since six… Bobby isn't cutting me any breaks today._

**Yeah I've had a tough day too… I gotta tell you… sleeping 'til noon really takes it out of you.**

_Funny, Cas… I was actually hoping for some sympathy._

**I'm sorry… Oh you poor baby… Do you need a cuddle?**

_I'm sensing that you're trying to be a smartass but I'll take it anyway… Yes I do._

**I'll make sure I deliver tomorrow.**

_Good… I can't wait to see you, I've been thinking about you all day… Every time I think about our conversation last night I get hard… which is a really awkward thing to happen in the workplace._

**I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable.**

_Why don't I believe that?_

**Probably because I'm lying to hide the fact that I think that's really fucking sexy.**

_I knew it. Anyway, Bobby's on my ass about being on the phone. I'll text you later Angel. X_

**I'll be waiting.**

Now it's almost ten 'o' clock and Dean hasn't texted him. Cas fights his temptation to text him first, considering that Dean may have come home and passed out. Cas thinks that if that's the case, then he should go to sleep.

Cas pulls his jeans off and crawls into bed as his phone vibrates. He opens it to see a message from Dean.

_You still awake?_

**Just.**

_Sorry babe… Got home and passed out… only just woke up._

**I figured you'd be asleep… How was work?**

_Awful… hideous… I'm soooo tired. _

**Well then go back to sleep… you'll need your strength tomorrow.**

_That sounds promising… What do you have in mind?_

**Never you mind, you should sleep.**

_No… I would much rather hear everything you have in mind for tomorrow._

Cas senses where the conversation is heading.

**Dean! Go. To. Sleep.**

Cas senses an eye roll in Dean's reply:

_Fine! You don't have to be so bossy._

**How else will you learn?**

_All you're teaching me is to be more rebellious… You see, I like bossy Cas._

**Well bossy Cas is on the verge of punishment if you don't watch yourself.**

_Oh, I _really_ like bossy Cas… how might you punish me?_

**For fuck's sake, Dean. GO. TO. SLEEP.**

_Fine! Party pooper. Sleep tight, Angel._

**I'll see you in the morning, x.**

Cas smiles to himself before curling up in his comforter and drifting off to sleep.

His phone vibrates and he begrudgingly opens it to read the message.

_Seriously, though, what kind of punishment?_

Cas fumes. He thinks of a million clever responses before getting an idea. He'd never usually allow himself to do it but Dean's asking for it.

Cas swings his legs over the bed and pulls his jeans back on. He runs down the stairs to find Gabe on the couch.

"Hey, Gabe, Can I borrow your car?"

Gabe frowns and looks up from the TV, "Yeah, sure… what for?"

Cas bites his lip, "Uhh…" he blushes, "to go see Dean."

Gabe gives him a knowing look before rolling his eyes and turning his attention back to the TV. "Fine," he says, "Just bring it back by tomorrow."

Cas grins, grabs the keys and jumps into Gabe's car. He heads to Dean's in a hurry.

He's sick of Dean's suggestive flirting. Cas is going to seduce Dean and have his way with him, whether Dean likes it or not. He smiles at giving Dean his best shot, thinking of all the things he does that Dean can't resist.

Cas parks Gabe's car on the side of the road, a few houses down from Dean's place. He's sneaking in, he can't very well park in the driveway. Cas approaches the house and wearily scouts the perimeter. The lights are off which means Sam and Bobby must already be asleep. Cas finds Dean's window and looks for a way up. There's a small step ladder by the shed. If he can get up to the shed, he can reach the ledge and pull himself up. From the ledge, he can easily get to Dean's window.

By the time Cas gets to the ledge, he feels pained and strained. _Easily, _he thinks, _famous last words._ Nothing's as easy as you think it is, he'll remember that. He wishes he'd just messaged Dean to let him in, diminishing his element of surprise but he'd been stubborn and has now paid the price. His fingers hurt from climbing and he will surely have blisters. Pulling himself up on the ledge had been embarrassingly harder than he predicted. He isn't as strong as he thought.

Cas treads carefully on the side roof of Dean's window. He knocks against the glass. He waits but he sees no movement in the dark room. If he has to call Dean anyway to open the window, he'll be pissed. Cas pushes against the glass, praying for it to yield. Success! The window opens easily.

He listens to see if Dean's awake, or even there! A loud, familiar snore erupts from somewhere in the room and Cas smiles. If Bobby and Sam can sleep in the same house as that noise, then Cas won't have to worry about the noises they're about to make. Cas plants his butt on the windowsill and slides his feet up over and onto the other side. Cas jumps off gracefully, making his footsteps as light as possible.

Cas uses his phone to light up the room to find his way around. He reaches Dean's bed, careful not to shine the light directly into his eyes. Dean is lying on his stomach, spread out over the entire bed, wearing nothing but his briefs. His mouth is wide open. Cas closes his phone and sets it on Dean's bedside table before crawling onto the bed so that he's straddling the boy's buttocks.

Very cautiously, Cas leans over and places his lips against Dean's smooth, bare shoulder blade. He presses harder, hoping to rouse Dean from his slumber. Cas leans in closer so he can nibble and kiss Dean's earlobe. Dean makes a noise but doesn't wake and merely turns his head to face the other direction.

Cas laughs, "Dean," he whispers in his ear, "Dean," he repeats louder.

Dean moves and stretches. Cas figures he must mistake the situation because he stiffens at the feel of Cas' hand against his back. Dean turns under Cas' lap in a quick, almost violent movement.

"Wow, Dean," Cas soothes, trying to keep his knees on the bed, "It's me… calm down."

"Cas?" Dean whispers into the darkness, confusion and sleep still evident in his tone.

"Yeah," Cas answers, a little amused. Dean reaches up to touch Cas' face, assuring himself that it's really Cas. Dean's hands find Cas' hair and he scrunches a fistful before yanking him down against his mouth. He parts his lips eagerly, welcoming Cas' tongue against his own. Dean's hand grasps his lover's thigh and he uses it as leverage to flip him over so that he's on top. Dean moves his lips across Cas' chin, along his jawline and down his neck.

"Cas," Dean whispers against his lover's skin, "What are you doing here?"

"I needed you," Cas whispers, his voice tainted with arousal.

Dean groans, "I'm so glad."

"I thought you'd be mad," Cas admits, "I came here to seduce you."

Dean stops, "Really?" He whispers.

Cas nods, "Yeah… I decided I didn't care what you think."

Dean claims Cas' lips again passionately, grinding his groin against Cas, frustrated at feeling nothing but denim against himself.

Dean pulls away to sit up, his hands clutching at Cas' jeans, "Pants off… now!" Dean growls.

Cas smiles widely as his shaft grows harder at Deans enthusiasm, "I thought you'd protest."

Dean pulls Cas' pants off and throws them onto his bedroom floor before lying back against Cas and kissing him again. Cas moans loudly at the feel of Dean's hardness against his own.

"Do you have any idea," Dean begins, "How many times I've almost texted you… demanding that you get your sexy, little butt over here."

It was true that Dean had considered finally de-flowering Cas multiple times but always held back. He didn't want it to happen yet with Meg's voice in his head but now, with Cas in his bed and begging for it, how can he resist?

"If I'd known that I would've gotten here sooner," Cas moans as he nibbles at Dean's neck.

Dean breathes heavily, overcome with desire, "Doesn't matter… you're here now."

Dean brushes his lips against Cas' again but it's softer than before. His tongue slides against Cas' top lips seductively. He bites at Cas' bottom lip and Cas moans.

"Dean," Cas warns, knowing exactly what the boy is up to. Dean merely smiles against his lips before giving Cas the passionate, deep kiss he's aching for.

Dean's hands wander to Cas' waist, eagerly wanting to liberate him from his t-shirt but hesitating, remembering the last time he tried to do that. Dean toys with the hem of Cas' shirt, contemplating his next move. Cas reads Dean's mind and quickly yanks his t-shirt up over his head. Dean immediately starts running his hands over Cas' bare, alluring skin excitedly, unable to get his fill of him. He wonders if he misread Cas' reaction last time.

Cas wraps his legs around Dean and forces him down on him. Dean stops to breaks away but his forehead remains glued to Cas'.

"Are you sure about this, Cas?" He asks. Cas nods.

Dean reaches up to the lamp by his bedside table. Cas grabs his wrist, stopping him.

"Don't, Dean," Cas begs.

"What? Why not?" Dean asks, "I want to see you."

Dean attempts to turn the light on again but is stopped.

"Dean… no," Cas pleads.

"Cas, c'mon," Dean dismisses him as he reaches up to flick the light on.

"Dean, don-," Cas manages to say before the light flicks on.

Dean's mouth falls open as he takes in Cas' bare-chested appearance and realises why he didn't want the light on, and why he didn't want to take his shirt off the other day.

"Cas," Dean whispers, lightly running his fingertips over the scars on Cas' chest and abdomen, "What happened to you?"

Cas looks away pointedly, annoyance clear on his face, "I told you…" Cas says with venom in his tone, "My brothers were… abusive."

"Your brothers did this to you?" Dean whispers, horrified.

Cas nods slowly, still unable to look at Dean, "The last time I saw them, my brother Lucifer threw me into a glass cabinet… That was the night Gabriel took me away."

Dean feels as though he could cry but he won't, he'd never cry in front of someone, besides Sammy. His fingers trail down to Cas' wrists and his eyes widen.

Cas reluctantly lets Dean turn over his hands to reveal his scarred wrists.

"And these?" Dean asks, too shocked to care about overstepping some line.

Cas pulls his wrist out of Dean's hand fiercely, still mad that Dean had flicked on the light.

"It helped," he explains, he's never told anyone about his problem before. Only Gabriel knows and he just _knew_, Cas didn't have to say anything. "I could control it… It was a pain I could give and take from myself… unlike everything else in my life."

Dean breathes deeply, trying to calm himself. He can't rid himself of the awful, gut-wrenching feeling Cas' words give him. He knows Cas was abused but he'd never guessed to what extent. He thought he went through hell with his parent's death but yet he pities Cas. A part of him wants to team up with Gabriel, find their brothers and beat the living shit out of those fucks.

Dean reaches out to gently lift Cas' chin. Cas resists but eventually looks up at Dean. Dean feels guilty for turning on the lights but not regretful.

"Do you…" Dean begins, "Do you still… do it?"

"No," Cas says darkly before pulling away from Dean to look away. "After Gabe took me away… I never did it again."

Dean runs his hands over Cas' forearm and turns it over to see the scars again. Cas doesn't resist as Dean skims his thumb across the marks delicately. Cas watches Dean carefully, waiting for a reaction, any reaction.

Dean brings Cas' wrist up to his mouth and kisses his scars. He moves down to gently kiss each of them. Dean then leans back over Cas to press his lips against the healed wounds on his chest, trying to cure the hurt with his lips. He skims his mouth over Cas' stomach to kiss every little or big scar he can see.

Cas closes his eyes, trying to fight back the emotion that's threatening to spill over. He breathes deeply and presses his lips together in a thin, tight line, overcome with his affection for Dean.

Dean trails his lips up again to hover above Cas' face, "I'll never let anything hurt you, Cas," he whispers, "I'll never let someone make you feel the way that they made you feel…" Dean places one more kiss against Cas' wrist before brushing against the boys' lips. He puts all his emotions into that sweet, deep kiss. Dean doesn't let go as he kisses his angel. Dean thinks he feels some moisture run down Cas' face. He becomes certain when Cas' tears reach their connected mouths and he tastes Cas in a different way. Dean doesn't acknowledge it but lets Cas cry as he needs to.

Dean presses himself against Cas eagerly, feeling the boy's yearning for him in his kiss.

"Dean…" Cas breathes against his mouth. Deans runs his hands all over Cas, caressing his body earnestly.

Dean follows the trail his hands paved with his mouth. Licking and nibbling at Cas' skin as he moves his lips across Cas' stomach, paying extra attention to the boy's scars.

Dean moves his hand down and cups Cas' erection sensually before repeating his action with his mouth. Cas groans at the action and bucks his hips in pleasure. Dean smiles against his hardness. Dean runs his fingers along the waistband of Cas' briefs before easing them down and throwing them on the floor of his bedroom.

Dean places soft, sweet kisses against Cas' member. He takes hold of it to direct the tip into his mouth and he licks it seductively. Cas lets out a soft groan as Dean teases him.

"Dean," Cas whispers with lust in his voice.

Dean smiles, "Yes Cas?"

"Please," he breathes. Dean doesn't need more than that. Dean's mouth envelops Cas as his lips and tongue move down and then back up, slowly and sensually. Dean moves frustratingly slow, tantalizing his lover. He smiles.

"Dean!" Cas growls and Dean laughs before quickening his actions. His lips run up and down, matching Cas' involuntary upward thrusts. His hand moves with his mouth and, every minute or so, Dean forces Cas down his throat, trying to silence his gags as he does so.

"Dean," Cas begins but it's no longer a moan, but a plea, "please… I need you."

Dean slows and retracts his mouth to playfully lick the tip, "Need me to do what?" Dean implores.

"Dean," Cas warns, frustrated by his lover's teasing, "please… you know what."

Dean grins, "Tell me, Cas," he orders.

Cas looks down to meet Dean's eyes, "Fuck me," he admits and is satisfied by Dean's returning grin. Dean crawls up Cas' body to kiss his lips once more, "Do you have…" Cas begins between urgent pecks, "do you have any… stuff?"

Dean frowns before the realisation hits, "Oh, yeah, right…" Dean leans over Cas to reach his bedside table and fumble through the drawers, "Uhh… it's here somewhere."

Cas laughs and kisses Dean under his chin as he searches, "Well this is kind of a mood killer," he observes playfully.

Dean laughs, "Well… If I'd had some warning I could've been prepared," he says as his hand clutches around the lube hidden in his third draw. Dean leans back down to kiss Cas again before nuzzling into his lover's neck. "Are you sure, Cas?" He whispers and feels Cas nod. Dean kisses his neck one more time, "Turn over," Dean orders in a soft, pleasant voice. The demand makes Cas tingle beautifully and he turns over.

Dean trails his fingertips over Cas' back, examining the less prominent scars there sadly. Dean traces Cas' spine with his lips before reaching a hand under Cas' stomach and hoisting him up onto his knees.

Cas groans irresistibly as Dean's firm erection presses against his bare backside. Dean kisses the small of his back as he lubricates his finger. Dean places a finger at Cas' entrance and circles it, teasing the boy before slowly easing it inside him. Cas gasps at the pressure as Dean pushes his finger in until his second knuckle disappears. Dean stops moving to give Cas a moment to relax before easing his digit out and then back in. Cas concentrates on his breathing as he gets used to the feeling. The pressure in Cas subsides as Dean moves a little faster. Excitement swells in Cas as pleasure replaces discomfort. Dean moves faster and Cas finds himself aching for more. Dean slips another finger in and this time it takes Cas a lot less time to adjust to the sensation. Dean moves in and out of him, quickening his pace. Cas starts to rock against his fingers eagerly. Dean explores his lover excitedly, scissoring his fingers and experimenting with his touch.

"Oh God!" Cas cries, almost buckling from shock as Dean's fingers slide over his sweet spot. Dean grins to himself, he'd done that completely by accident.

"Did you like that, baby?" Dean lulls before slipping a third finger in there and brushing against the same spot.

"Oh, fuck," Cas curses, now moaning louder than Dean has ever heard. "Oh my God, Dean."

Dean grins widely, unable to control the pleasure it gives him to see Cas like this. Dean's other hand wraps tightly around Cas' hips to keep him steady.

"Dean… please," Cas begs, "I'm ready."

Dean urgently covers his hard on with a coat of lube as he continues to finger Cas. Dean removes his fingers to place his erection against Cas' entrance. Cas whimpers at the loss of pressure. Dean rubs his tip against Cas' hole. Cas groans.

"Damn it, Dean!" He growls, "Please! I need you!"

Dean bites his lip as he places a hand on either side of Cas' hips and eases into him. Cas gasps at the burning feeling he gets when Dean fills him, stretches him. Dean stops midway.

"Keep going," Cas grunts, wanting to take all of Dean. Dean obliges, "Argh," Cas groans and Dean winces as the boy scrunches his bed sheets in pain.

Dean waits as Cas gets used to the feeling. Dean has to bite his lip to keep himself from moving, overwhelmed with the unbelievable tightness and warmness encircling his member.

Cas breathes, willing himself to relax. Cas' pain subsides until it's a dull feeling. Cas can now feel the pleasure of having Dean inside of him. He can feel Dean pressed against his sweet spot but it only teases him, having no friction or pressure against it.

"Dean," Cas growls but this time his voice is laced with lust and urgency rather than pain, "Move!"

Dean doesn't need to be told twice, already desperate for friction; he pulls out until it's only the tip submerged before thrusting into Cas again. Cas groans and clutches the sheets again but this time it's for different reasons.

Dean pulls back again, this time thrusting harder and receiving an even louder moan as a reward. He does it again, harder and faster.

"Oh fuck, Dean," Cas moans as he rocks against Dean, desperate for quicker thrusts. "God, it feels so good."

"I know Cas," Dean moans back, "fuck me, you feel so good."

Dean's had plenty of lovers but _never_ has he felt like this before. Impossibly quickly, Dean feels himself begin to climb.

"Oh yes Dean," Cas moans, "oh yes, fuck me."

Dean growls appreciatively at Cas' dirty talk. He knows he must be ecstatic with pleasure for that to come out.

"Oh God, Cas," Dean responds, feeling himself climb only quicker with Cas' noises, "Say that again."

"Argh," Cas moans sensually, "Fuck me, Dean… As hard as you can."

Dean almost feels himself go over the edge but manages to summon some willpower to stop the impending orgasm. Dean reaches over to wrap his hand around Cas' member and pumps quickly, determined to please Cas first.

Dean feels his orgasm coming on and he doesn't know if he can hold on.

"Dean," Cas moans, "Dean I'm gonna-,"

The words send Dean over the edge, "Fuck Cas," he moans as he comes, "Fuck, I love you."

The feel of Dean's seed filling him up causes Cas to erupt himself, spilling himself all over Dean's bed. Dean collapses so that his head is resting against Cas' back.

"Fuck," he whispers before kissing his lover's back, "That was incredible."

Dean eases out of Cas and flicks off the lamp before collapsing onto the bed next to his angel. Cas turns over so he's lying on his back, relishing in the moment. He'd just lost his virginity and it was the most amazing experience in his life. Even more amazing is that Dean just told Cas that he loves him.

"Dean?" Cas asks and Dean merely responds with a 'hmm' and Cas guesses that he's on the verge of sleep. "I love you too," Cas confesses. It was true, Cas knew it only as the words came out of his mouth. He loved Dean. He doesn't even care if Dean had only said it in a fit of passion, he's glad he said it.

Dean's eyes widen and he's thankful that he turned the light off so Cas can't see. He'd just said 'I love you'. Dean had never said those words to anyone! He'd never loved anyone. He knows the words to be true but he can't acknowledge it. He can let it slip during sex but he can't say it aloud now.

"Umm," Dean begins, knowing Cas is expecting an answer, "Good," is all he can say. Cas smiles, not expecting anything else but loving Dean even more for trying.

Dean can't stand the tension; he slides a hand under Cas' neck and pulls him into him so that he's nestled against his chest. Cas presses his lips over Dean's heart and rests his head against him.

**Reviews? Please & Thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5

Cas feels his chest tightening from the fear and he tastes so much blood on his tongue that he's practically suffocating. It's so dark that he can barely see his brother towering over him and it makes the terror so much worse.

He can hear Gabe's voice, "Get the fuck off him!" Gabe screams and Cas knows he's trying to get to him but something – someone – is holding him back. Cas feels knuckles collide with his jaw as he's hit with another brutal punch. Cas spits blood so that he doesn't choke.

Lucifer launches a foot into Cas' stomach, causing him to shriek in pain. Cas can vaguely hear struggling and Gabe groans. Two hands grab the front of Cas' shirt and he's yanked up to his feet.

"Where the hell did _you_ get the courage to talk back to _me_?" Lucifer growls. "Have you learnt some respect yet?"

Cas knows that he should say 'yes' and avoid further beatings but he can't. Now that he's found his feet, he can't let himself fall. Lucifer would beat him, but he did that anyway. At least this way, even if Lucifer kills him, he'll die with some nobility.

"Fuck you," Cas spits and even manages to smile at Lucifer's hideously angry expression. It's the last thing he sees before Lucifer hauls him across the room and Cas feels the pain as he crashes into his mother's glass cabinet, shattering it to pieces.

Dean wakes as Cas spasms in his arms.

Cas cries out and thrashes hysterically against an unseeable force. Dean puts his hands on Cas to hold him down.

"Cas," Dean tries to wake him, "Cas!"

Cas gasps as he wakes and struggles against the hands griping him, fighting against Lucifer.

"Cas!" He hears again but the voice doesn't belong. It's not Lucifer's, it's Dean's.

"Dean?" Cas whispers into the darkness, desperately trying to find Dean's face with his hands.

"It's me, angel," Dean soothes, trying to hide his own fear from Cas.

Cas breathes loudly, trying to catch his breath, "Thank God," he whispers as Dean pulls him against his chest. Cas welcomes the gesture, allowing himself to be comforted.

"Are you okay?" Dean asks and he feels Cas nod against his chest. "Do you… do you always have nightmares?"

"More often than not," Cas says through shallow breaths, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't apologise, Cas," Dean soothes him, "do you want to talk about it?"

Cas deliberates, "It's just… it's hard… I've never spoken about it before."

Dean nods, "Well, I'm listening and you can stop if you need to."

Cas feels assured to speak when Dean's hand squeezes his shoulder affectionately.

"Umm…" Cas begins, "I just… I always have this nightmare, of the last time I saw my older brothers… It was… the scariest night of my life. I actually thought I might die. Lucifer and Michael had beaten me plenty of times before, they got the brunt of my father's abuse and, when he left, my family disintegrated into the broken, shell of a family it ended up as. Lucifer and Michael lashed out at me, I think they liked feeding off my fear… like it made them feel powerful. They only ever beat me, Gabe wasn't weak enough to be afraid of them. It got worse when they discovered that I was… well… struggling with… myself. It was just another thing they used against me. Gabe always stuck up for me but he was no match for Michael and Lucifer.

"Then, on that night, it got worse than it had ever been before because I snapped. Lucifer and Michael had had a few drinks and were calling me names and shoving me which was, in my household, a usual night. I don't know where it came from but I couldn't help it. I told Lucifer to go fuck himself and… he didn't like that very much.

"He beat the crap out of me… He was usually so careful not to leave scars that would show but… he beat me senselessly before hurling me into glass. After that, I don't remember much, I passed out. I don't think they did anything to me after that. I just remember Gabe waking me up in a hospital bed with over seventy stitches in me. Gabe had gotten it pretty bad too that night but he was more afraid for me than himself. He got me out of there, drove me to a hospital and waited by my side until I was better, then he and I came here and… started new."

"Cas," Dean whispers and runs a finger over the scars over Cas' heart, "I'm so sorry… I wish… I wish there was something I could do."

"You make me feel better just by being with me, Dean," Cas confesses, "you do enough."

Cas' words warm Dean so much it hurts. Being the person that helps Cas, that makes him feel better, makes Dean feel like he has a purpose. That feeling, however, doesn't make his guilt subside. He'd won the bet, hurray! He felt even shittier now, wishing he'd given Cas the time of day before he'd made that stupid bet.

Dean places a kiss on Cas' forehead, "You're something else, Cas… you have no idea how you make me feel… you're my angel."

Cas smiles before reaching over to his phone and checking the time. He sits up in a hurry when he realises that it's three in the morning, he hadn't meant to fall asleep. Cas swings his legs off the bed. Dean props himself up on his elbow.

"What're you doing?" Cas loves the sadness in his tone as he says it.

"I have to go," Cas says as he pulls on his jeans, forgetting to look for his briefs.

"What, why?" Dean asks as he reaches over to flick the lamp back on, "Please stay."

Cas finds his shirt and pulls it over his head before turning around and leaning in to place a soft, chaste kiss against Dean's mouth.

"I can't… I need to get Gabe's car back and I think my presence in the morning will be difficult to explain to your brother and Bobby," Cas explains, knowing Dean can't argue with his reason, despite his yearning to stay and fall asleep against Dean's chest.

Dean looks sad, "Fine… but I'll see you soon?" He asks hopefully.

Cas smiles and agrees, "Definitely."

Dean leads Cas down the stairs quietly.

"Cas," Dean stops the boy from leaving, "Thank you… for telling me."

Cas smiles, "Thank you for listening."

Dean kisses Cas goodbye before heading back to his room to sleep. Cas walks back to his brother's car, gets in and takes off with a big, fat, smug smile on his face.

Dean waits as Cas makes his way out to the Impala. Dean notices that Cas limps slightly but is trying to hide it. Dean smiles to himself, feeling somewhat smug for making Cas walk funny, as if he'd left his mark on him.

Cas eases himself into the passenger seat and closes the door.

"You're walking funny," he acknowledges.

"Yeah, well that happens when your boyfriend fucks you into next week." Dean grins, loving when Cas gets crude and how he so casually uses the term 'boyfriend' even though they hadn't spoken about it.

He smiles softly, "I hope I didn't hurt you."

Cas frowns, wanting to assure Dean that he wasn't really hurt and, even if he was screaming with pain it would still have been worth it. He thinks of a way to tell him but he settles for being amusing, rather than assuring.

Cas smiles to himself before he shoves Dean, "Don't be a pussy," Cas teases and enjoys the utter shock on Dean's face.

"Fuck you, then!" He insults and Cas laughs.

"That's better…" Cas smiles mischievously.

Dean gives Cas a look of amused shock, "I think you like me when I'm mean, angel."

Cas smiles, "I like you fired up."

Dean rolls his eyes before pulling out of Cas' driveway and heading out on the road. Dean drives for twenty minutes, picking up some fast food on the way, and takes Cas to an old football field, just outside of town. He parks the car in the middle of the deserted, secluded field that looks like its gone unmaintained for years. Dean's father used to take them there every Fourth of July to light fireworks, the year before he died, they burnt it down.

Dean and Cas spend the morning on the hood of the Impala, eating breakfast and sharing memories. Twice they crawl into the back seat and Dean causes Cas to make the delightful sounds he made last night.

Dean shoves Cas playfully and it turns into a wrestling match on the ground, each boy fighting for dominance, trying to get on top. Dean finally wins as he pins Cas' hands above his head and crushes their lips together.

"I win," Dean grins.

Cas rolls his eyes. "Fine, you win," he gives up. Dean sits up so he's on his knees with Cas sitting in front of him.

"So, what do I win?" Dean asks seductively.

Cas looks suspicious, "What do you want?"

Dean smirks, doesn't speak but removes his belt and unzips his pants. Cas bites his lips, eyes filled with lust. All Dean has to do is raise his eyebrows at Cas as if to ask 'what're you waiting for?' and Cas launches his mouth onto Dean's member hungrily and works him until Dean is satisfied. Cas can't explain it but he likes Dean taking control like that… treating him like a tool.

The boys mess around all day until it's time to go home.

Dean kisses Cas goodbye and can't help thinking that this could have very well been a 'perfect' day.

Cas and Dean spend every private moment they have, together. They go out to the abandoned football field almost every afternoon and Dean pulls Cas into their secret closest every chance he gets. They're bringing a whole new meaning to the term 'in the closest'.

Everything was still in secret, with only Anna and Gabriel clued in. Cas knows that Sam knows something but doesn't speak up and Dean is either completely oblivious to it or in complete denial.

Dean tries his best to avoid Meg and her meaningful questions. If he can avoid Meg, he can duck his guilt for another day.

Cas struggles with Dean's unwillingness to acknowledge him in front of any of his friends. Although it hurts him, Cas doesn't complain. He's trying to be a good… _boyfriend_? To Dean, by being supportive and understanding. However, Cas is starting to see the bright side of the bad situation. He likes the way Dean's cheeks flare red when he makes a subtle but crude gesture at him in crowded places.

He can't deny that he isn't enjoying it a little bit.

Dean knows he's neglecting his friends and his studies to feed his obsession with Cas but he can't help it. The only thing he can't get away with is skipping the Friday night party at Ash's place.

Cas sits cross-legged on his bed with a book in his lap. Dean lounges against the bed's headboard, throwing and catching a tennis ball. Cas finds it rhythmic and soothing, rather than annoying.

"Do you think you're brother likes me?" Dean asks.

Cas makes a 'hmm' sound but doesn't look up from his book, "Of course… Do you get the feeling he doesn't?"

Cas hears the continuing catch and release of the tennis ball in Dean's hands, "It's just hard to tell… the guy's… difficult to read."

Cas almost laughs, Gabriel's an open book to his brother but maybe that's just the brother thing. He feels sorry for Dean, though, coming over to Cas' to be bombarded with the 'meet the family' cliché' moment.

"I'm sure he likes you," Cas assures him, still not looking up from his book. He'd made the agreement with Dean that they could hang out this afternoon if Dean promised to let him catch-up on the textbook chapter for Biology.

"I hope so," Dean says. Cas smiles at Dean's desire to have Gabriel's approval, knowing his glee can't be seen. "It's not that he's rude or anything he's just… well…" Dean sighs in that way he only does when he's deep in thought, "he's obviously cautious of me… he's clearly very protective of you."

Cas stays quiet, knowing it's true although he can't pinpoint how Dean had seen that in Gabriel's behaviour. Their interaction had consisted of a quick introduction, an awkward handshake and a knowing and slightly embarrassing expression from Gabe when Cas took Dean to his bedroom to 'study'.

"So," Dean continues, "That makes me like him."

Cas smiles again and re-reads the last sentence of the paragraph he's on, realising that he's read it at least seven times now.

Dean stops throwing the tennis ball and Cas feels his eyes on him.

"Cas… Let me suck you dick," Dean blurts out.

Cas hides the arousal he feels at Dean's words, "Dean… no," he says, "I have to finish."

"C'mon Cas," Dean pleads, trying to grab Cas' textbook, "It'll be fun, I promise."

Cas grips his textbook tightly, fighting with Dean over it like a tug-of-war rope, "Dean, c'mon," Cas begs before flashing his best puppy dog eyes at Dean, knowing he's powerless against them, "You promised," Cas reminds him.

Dean rolls his eyes before letting go of the book, "Fine," he says begrudgingly before lying back down on the bed, "but it's a limited time offer," he sings as he looks up at the roof.

Cas glares at him, hating him for the tightening of his pants. He sighs, "Fuck it," he says, throwing his book aside and launching towards Dean. Dean chuckles in victory as Cas hovers above him. Dean rolls him over and pins him to the bed to deliver what he promised.

Dean's hand reaches up to cover Cas' mouth and stifle his moans as he climaxes into his mouth. Dean swallows before crawling up his angel's body to place a kiss on his lips.

"You're so loud," Dean observes.

Cas scoffs, "If that's anyone's fault, it's yours," He says through shallow breaths.

Dean crawls over to pick up Cas' fallen textbook and return it to his lover's lap as he snuggles into his chest.

"I'm happy…" Dean admits, "You may continue."

Cas yawns and throws his book on the floor. Dean had lasted ten minutes on Cas' chest before deciding to lie across the foot of his bed with his head hanging off the edge and continue with his throwing and catching.

"It's almost six," Cas acknowledges, "Do you wanna get something to eat?"

Dean sits up to cross his legs in front of Cas, "I'd love to but… I should probably get going."

Cas frowns, "Then why'd you hang around for so long to watch me study?"

Dean shrugs, "I wanted to spend time with you… I don't care what we do."

Cas grins at his lover, disbelieving that a single human being can be so perfect. Dean gets up to pull his jacket on.

"Where are you going?" Cas asks timidly. He tries to make it sound like he's just genuinely curious, which is true, rather than a nagging boyfriend demanding to know where he is every second of the day. Dean smiles like he enjoys it.

"I have to go to Ash's tonight…" Dean explains but there's an awkward moment of silence, "I would invite you but-,"

"But you don't want to have to explain it to your friends," Cas finishes his sentence and Dean gives him a sympathetic look, unable to deny it, "It's okay… I understand."

Dean smiles before leaning down and giving him a sweet peck, "You're an angel."

Cas smiles against the kiss before Dean disappears out the door.

Dean passes Gabriel, who's sitting on the couch.

"Nice to meet you Gabriel," Dean says before making to leave.

Gabe notices that Cas isn't with him, "Hey Dean!" He calls before setting down his beer and standing up from the couch. Dean waits at the door as Gabe makes his way over to Dean.

"Look," Gabe begins, "I'm glad to see Cas has found someone but…"

"But?" Dean prompts, "Is this the stay away from my brother talk?" Dean asks, shocked. He didn't think Gabe could hate him _that_ much after one meeting.

Gabriel smiles but it's a cold one, "No, Dean," He says, "this is the – hurt my brother and I'll beat the living shit out of you – talk."

Dean nods uncomfortably, "Understood."

Gabriel grins, "Good… because Cas is special, Dean… I've done my best to keep him out of harm's way… God knows what would happen if he got hurt."

"You have my word…" Dean says before gulping, "Sir."

Gabriel laughs but looks exceptionally pleased with himself before he goes back to his post in front of the TV and Dean escapes.

"You've been acting a little strange, Dean-o, is something wrong?" Meg whispers.

"Yeah, actually," Dean admits, "This bet of ours…"

"Oh, yes, that… Have you come to negotiate? Do you need more time?"

"No," Dean snaps, "I don't want to do it anymore, Meg… I'm calling it off."

Meg frowns, "What? You can't do that… We had a deal… you can't call it off just because you're losing… You're cheating me out of a hundred bucks!"

Dean rolls his eyes, if only she knew, "I'll give you your money," Dean says, willing to give it up for her to let this go.

"It's not the same," Meg says, "Money won is a lot sweeter than money… given?" She looks at Dean questioningly and Dean thinks he could almost laugh.

"Meg… I just need it to be over," Dean admits.

"Why?" Meg asks, "Are you admitting defeat? Is Castiel too hard to crack?"

"It's not like that, Meg… Don't you think the whole thing sounds a little, cruel?"

Meg gives him a look so flabbergasted that Dean might has well just told her he likes to wear women's dresses in his spare time.

"Since when do you care?"

Dean would yell at her if he wasn't so hurt by it, "Of course I care," he says timidly.

Meg scoffs, "Um, you didn't care when we made the bet… you pick on more people than _I_ do… you put your best friend in the hospital…"

"Gordon is _not _my best friend," Dean growls.

"Well, he was… before you jumped him for hitting on Lisa," Meg argues and Dean shoots her a glare.

"That's _not_ why I did that," Dean barks.

Meg raises an eyebrow at him, "Well then, why _did_ you do it?"

Dean rolls his eyes, "Gordon's a dick… Always has been and always will be."

"Yeah… _that_ I know." Meg looks at Dean expectantly but he remains silent, "If you tell me… I'll let this bet thing go."

Dean's heart leaps into his throat happily, "He picked on Sammy," he admits and Meg just looks more confused.

"Dean you pick on nicer kids than Sam, you know."

Dean grits his teeth, "Shut up, Meg!"

Meg gets annoyed and leaves Dean alone and he relishes in the fact that he managed to call off this bet without Cas finding out.

A few hours and a few too many drinks pass before Dean starts to _really_ miss Cas. Dean heads home and texts Cas.

_Cas… get over here. NOW!_

**Hello to you too, Dean. I can't get over there now, it's one in the morning.**

_Cas pleeeeease… I need you._

Cas rolls his eyes, unable to dismiss his desire for Dean.

**Dean, it's late.**

_I'll make it worth your while._

**Damn it, Dean I was sleeping… Do you have something against my sleeping?**

_I think it's pretty obvious that I do._

**You're a pain in my ass.**

_If I recall correctly you asked for that pain in the ass, actually… you were begging for it._

**Cute.**

_Cas, please just come over._

**I'll see what I can do.**

Cas begrudgingly gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of jeans. He writes a note to Gabriel, explaining that he needs the car for a Dean-related emergency. Gabriel would understand. If anyone understands the intrigue of the late night booty call, it's Gabriel.

Cas drives quickly to Dean's, feeling a little angry as well as excited. He parks Gabe's car a few houses down and texts Dean to let him know that he's arrived. He waits at the front door as Dean opens it, reaches out and yanks him inside. Before Cas has a moment to think, Dean slams him against the door and forces their lips together.

Cas moans but summons enough strength to push Dean away, fearing that someone might hear them at any moment.

Dean grins, grabs Cas' hand and runs towards his bedroom. Cas almost trips and wonders how Dean can run so confidently in his surely-drunken state. Cas hardly has time to think before Dean throws him down on his bed and straddles him quickly.

"Dean," Cas breathes as Dean invades his mouth, letting Cas taste the whisky. Dean moves down to Cas' neck, ravishing him more fiercely then he ever has. Dean bites down a little too hard.

"Ouch, Dean," Cas hisses. It hurt but he also strangely, kind of liked it. It was more for the fact that Dean was completely letting go. Dean giggles.

"Too rough for you angel?" Dean teases and Cas frowns at the accusation in his voice. Cas decides that Dean gets mean when he's had a few.

"No," Cas retorts.

Dean bites down even hard.

"Ouch, Dean, fuck!" Cas yells, angrier this time, "Go easy."

"Suck it up, Cas."

"You know, you could speak a little nicer to me… I did just drive for half an hour at one in the morning to be here for you."

"Cas, honey," Dean says in a very condescending tone, "We're gay… not women."

"Fuck you," Cas spits and feels surprised when Dean moans at the abuse. Dean returns to kiss Cas' neck, nibbling at him gently. The rough way Dean's hands run over him and the way they're kind of fighting but still being intimate makes Cas hot. The anger he feels at Dean only fuels his lustful passion.

"Bite me again," Cas moans desperately and Dean chuckles darkly before obliging. Cas bucks his hips into Dean as he sensually abuses his sensitive neck.

"There's my kinky boy," Dean moans before raiding Cas' mouth with his tongue forcibly. Dean bites at Cas' lower lip as he grinds into him.

Dean practically rips Cas' shirt up over his head to press their bare naked chests against each other. He moves his lips over Cas' chest to flick his tongue over Cas' nipple. Cas moans and Dean grazes his teeth over the mound and begins to suck.

"Dean," Cas moans.

"That's it, Cas," Dean encourages as his hand reaches down to cup Cas' hardness roughly. "Say my name."

"Fuck, Dean," Cas growls, "Touch me," he implores.

Dean smiles and presses his hand down against Cas' member harder.

"Cas?" Dean asks.

"Yes, baby?" Cas responds between loud pants.

"Fuck me?"

Cas freezes, "Really?" He asks and feels Dean nod. Cas moves quickly, suddenly electric at the thought of getting to do that to Dean. He rolls over, pinning Dean under him. It's Cas' turn to tease as he bites, kisses and licks Dean's neck, his chest, his abdomen and his nipples. Dean moans appreciatively.

Cas pulls down Dean's briefs and fumbles through Dean's drawers, his hand finding the tube they've been using for him. Cas covers his digits as he wraps his other hand around Dean's member and begins to pump slowly, trying to distract Dean from the discomfort of what's about to happen so that Dean doesn't pull out.

Cas pushes one finger into Dean's entrance. Dean gasps. Cas moves slowly at first but speeds up. He slips in another finger and repeats the process. Dean starts to moan quietly and Cas notices that he's slightly rocking back and forth on Cas' fingers. Cas slips in a third finger and, cunningly, presses hard against Dean's sweet spot.

"Oh, fuck, Cas!" Dean yells bucking his hips a little faster, "Oh, God… that's so good," Dean moans, realising that he's been missing out just to be on top.

Cas moves his fingers faster, so captivated by the sight of his moaning, helpless Dean that he forgets what the purpose of it was.

"Cas, do it now, please?" Dean begs, "I need you inside of me right NOW," Dean growls.

Cas works himself over to lubricate before removing his fingers.

Dean whimpers at the loss, "Put it in, Cas!" Dean demands, needing the pressure to return. Cas lifts Dean's hips up slightly as he submerges himself into him. Dean groans as Cas stretches him.

Cas doesn't move, giving Dean a chance to relax and get used to it. Dean breathes deeply, trying not to let Cas see how much he's aching. Slowly, the pain subsides and he only feels the pressure. He realises that Cas is waiting for his okay.

"It's okay, Cas," Dean encourages, "you can move."

Cas is careful to ease out of Dean gently before thrusting back inside him. Dean lets out a groan that Cas can't determine as good or bad. He moves his hips back and forward again, fighting every urge in his body he has to thrust as hard and rough as he can.

Dean moans so softly, Cas can barely hear him. The more Cas thrusts, the more Dean starts to feel like he's being teased. Cas moves so slowly, he starts to thrust down on Cas harder. He feels Cas brush against his sweet spot but it's not enough.

"Cas…" Dean moans and it's almost a warning, "you don't need to go easy on me," he assures him and Cas grins wickedly.

"You asked for it," Cas bites his lip before moving back to slam into Dean as hard as he can. Dean lets out a loud moan as Cas picks up the pace, ramming into him hard and fast.

"Oh, fuck," Dean whispers in a shaky voice, still unable to feel the pressure where he needs it.

Cas moves his mouth to lick and suck at Dean's stomach, biting him as revenge for earlier. Cas' change in position forces his member to press hard against Dean's sweet spot.

"Oh, God, Cas!" Dean cries as his pulse quickens instantly. Cas grins against Dean's skin and thrusts into him harder and faster than ever. "Oh, that's so fucking good," Cas feels himself build at Dean's words.

"You're so hot like this, Dean," Cas mumbles.

"You're so hot being inside me, Cas," Dean moans, "oh, God… fuck me harder!"

Cas moans loudly and gives in to Dean's demands. Dean builds quickly, needing realise. He feels Cas' teeth at his stomach, nibbling delightfully. He doesn't know how hard he's biting but he just knows he wants more.

"Harder, Cas," Dean moans and Cas thrusts even harder, "No, Cas," Dean breathes, "_bite_ me harder."

Cas grins and digs his teeth in even more, wondering when Dean's going to stop him but he doesn't, he only moans louder. The brings Cas so close he can barely stand it.

"Dean," Cas breathes, "I'm close…."

"Good, Cas… I want to feel you cum," Dean moans.

"Oh, God, Dean… you're amazing… say more stuff like that,"

"Give it to me, Cas…" Dean moans as he builds, almost at the edge, "Oh God… Fuck, Cas…"

Cas lets out a loud groan as he erupts. The feel of Cas' ejaculation sends him over the edge, "Bite me, Cas!" Dean cries and Cas latches his teeth into Dean's skin once more. Dean comes into Cas' hand, feeling the bite on barely comparing to the pleasure.

Cas pants happily as Dean recovers. He looks down at the mess on Dean's stomach and his hand.

Dean smiles wickedly, "Lick it up," he whispers mischievously.

Cas smiles seductively before fulfilling Dean's wishes and cleaning his stomach with his tongue. Dean runs a hand through his lover's hair appreciatively. If he hadn't just cum, Cas' actions would make him instantly hard.

Cas eases out of Dean and lies next to him. Dean pulls him into an embrace and kisses the top of his head.

"God, Cas," Dean whispers, "you're… unbelievable."

Cas smiles, still catching his breath, "Thanks… you're not too shabby yourself, dollface."

Dean shoves Cas playfully but laughs, "Cute."

Cas reluctantly sits up, "I gotta go," he says.

"No!" Dean protests, grabbing Cas and pulling him back down. Cas giggles, "Stay here with me, please?"

"I can't… I gotta go home… Gabe doesn't even know I took his car," Cas explains, trying to get up again.

"So, you're just gonna fuck me and leave?" Dean asks but there's humour in his tone, "What am I, a prostitute?"

Cas smiles, "Oh, honey, of course not!" He assures him, kissing Dean intimately before pulling back, "You're not as degrading as a prostitute… you're a booty call." Cas grins but Dean shoves him.

"You're a dick," Dean retorts, "and just to be clear… _I_ called _you._"

"Yes… but _you_ begged," Cas grins and Dean rolls his eyes before collapsing on the bed, giving up holding Cas back. Cas looks at him, amazed that he's managed to stay awake for so long in his state. Cas jumps up to find his clothes.

"You know…" Dean begins, "Give me five minutes and I'll be up for round two."

Cas freezes and looks back at Dean's mischievous grin. Cas smirks, "Fuck, it," he whispers before dropping the jeans in his hand and launching onto Dean's lips again, readying himself for round two.

This time, Cas waits to hear Dean's snore before sneaking out, feeling more satisfied than ever.

Dean rouses from sleep. He checks his phone and sees that it's nearly two in the afternoon. His head pounds but his main concern is the awful feeling in his stomach. He runs to the bathroom, not realising that he's completely naked until he's hurling into the toilet bowl.

Dean finds the strength to get up and rinse his mouth out in the sink. A pain shoots through him, causing him to limp. He lets out a groan. He doesn't have to wonder why his backside hurts before the events of last night rush back to him. He can't believe his actions, he never thought he'd do _that_. He shakes his head at himself. He leans up to look at himself in the mirror and his mouth falls open. Across his abdomen are purplish marks, darker than any love bite he'd ever gotten. It's not just hickeys; there are actual teeth marks above his belly button. It looks as if the mark came very close to drawing blood. He curses Cas for being so sneaky before remembering that he'd practically begged him to do it but, funnily enough, Dean can't remember ever feeling the pain.

Dean crawls into the shower in an attempt to wash away the hangover.

**Hope you liked it, reviews would be lovely.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the lovely reviews.**

**I apologise for the porn in this chapter… It's lengthy and rough and dirty… I'm really sorry… but it had to happen.**

**It pretty much takes up the whole chapter.**

**Enjoy.**

Since Friday night, Meg has been exceptionally suspicious of Dean. Why, all of a sudden, does he care about being cruel? Had he even _attempted_ his challenge? What's the reason for his sudden epiphany? Does it have something to do with Castiel? Meg isn't sure but she's determined to find out.

Cas catches a glimpse of Dean's secret smile across the crowded corridor. He'd recently noticed a change in Dean. He's changing and Cas knows that it's not for the better.

Any time they've recently spent together has consisted primarily of sex. There are brief moments before and after when Dean pulls him in really close or intimately places a chaste kiss on his forehead but that's it. Cas knows that his new behaviour has something to do with what happened on Friday night. He knows that Dean's been struggling with admitting or coming to terms with what he and Cas have been doing and they'd taken a whole new step on Friday night. Not only had Cas been on top for the first and only time but Dean had actually _said_ 'we're gay'. Gathered, he was using it to insult Cas but he still said it. They hadn't even spoken about it since then. Cas knows he's struggling but he can't deny that he isn't also completely self-conscious that Dean's losing interest. Cas hadn't realised it but he already dreads the day he lives without Dean.

But Cas lets it all go. He needs to be supportive and not act like a nagging, needy boyfriend that'll inevitably push Dean away, despite his desire to demand that Dean get his shit together.

Cas passes by Dean's group, committed to keeping his eyes off the sex god because his friend… Mel… Meg? is looking in his general direction.

Meg decides to seize her opportunity and purposely rams her shoulder against Castiel's, making him stumble a bit. Cas looks utterly shocked.

"Watch out, freak!" Meg hisses, laughing a little.

Cas frowns, thinking about Dean rather than Meg.

Dean's head snaps back instantly at the interaction before he turns to glare at Meg, "Leave him alone," he tells her with venom in his voice.

Meg scoffs, "What the hell do you care?" She asks, offended by his outburst. Dean freezes, not realising that he'd just snapped at Meg for picking on Cas. His friends don't even know that he and Cas know each other.

Dean looks to Cas and gulps, "I don't," he says simply, shaking his head. Dean looks away before leaving with his friends. Cas feels like he's just had his guts ripped out. His whole relationship with Dean is based off the premise that they can't be public. Being supportive of Dean is one thing but having it thrown in his face like that is another thing entirely… It's heartbreaking.

Dean walks away feeling queasy.

"What was that?" Meg asks, "What's happened to you?"

Dean frowns, "What do you mean?"

"You're acting really different," Meg says suspiciously and when Dean gives her a funny look she adds, "Did you get your period or something?"

"Shut the fuck up, Meg," Dean hisses, mainly because he knows that she's right.

Dean's still struggling with what he and Cas did on Friday night. Even when he started this thing with Cas, he never thought he'd end up doing _that_. The alcohol had taken away all his doubt about what he and Cas do, he just acted out of pure desire. The truth is, Dean _has_ changed. He's grown soft. Before Cas, Dean would have never let anyone get to him. In relationships, he wore the pants, had things his way and never fell in love. Cas is changing that. He's doing things to Dean that makes him weak, needy and… unselfish. He cares, he loves and that's dangerous. He needs to set things right. He can't leave Cas, he knows that, but if Cas knows it, Dean's screwed. He'd already let unforgivable things slip during their first time making love. _No_, Dean thinks, dismissing the thought, _we fucked! That's it! I may be screwing a dude but I'm not a girl_. Dean sighs to himself, _I'm so screwed and I seriously need help._

Dean can't stop fucking Cas and he can't even stop acting like his boyfriend, he doesn't want to. He's tried to back off but he can't even do that! He tries to booty call Cas but he winds up always giving in and indulging in brief moments of non-sexual intimacy.

He may be fucked but he can still run this relationship his way and claim his place, back on top.

Cas spends the majority of Algebra dwelling on Dean's behaviour. He tries to get some work done because he needs the distraction but he can't, especially when his phone vibrates.

Cas slyly checks his phone.

_Skip 3rd period and meet me in the closest._

Cas rolls his eyes, no please or thank you, just a demand. Cas sighs, he'd been so happy after their meeting on Friday and now that beautiful memory is tainted by Dean's thoughtless behaviour.

**No Dean, I have an exam in a few weeks, I can't skip third.**

It's true but, then again, he's also mad and needs some time to cool off.

_C'mon Cas… Don't be lame._

**No Dean.**

_Cas… If you don't ditch, I'll come in there and drag you out by your hair._

Cas seriously contemplates telling Dean to go fuck himself but he can't.

**No.**

Cas determinedly goes to his next class and writes notes as he tries, desperately, to push Dean out of his head.

The teacher is interrupted by a knock on the door. Cas looks up and freezes at the sight. _No_, he thinks, _he can't be serious._

Cas' teacher looks up at Dean, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah," he replies and hands the teacher a note. Cas watches his teacher moves his lips slightly as he reads the note.

He sighs deeply, "Very well but tell Mr. Crowley that I will not allow this again," he says before turning his eyes on Castiel, "Castiel, you may go with Mr. Winchester to the library to work on your English assignment."

Cas looks at him, confused and unable to speak.

"Go on," the teacher insists and Castiel quickly packs up his books and leaves alongside Dean.

"You're unbelievable," Cas fumes as they head down the hall towards the janitor's closest. Dean is smirking.

"Thank you," he beams.

"Not a compliment, Dean," Cas retorts, "How'd you even get away with that?"

Dean shrugs, "The most useful thing I've ever learnt in school is how to forge signatures," He grins as he comes to a halt outside of the closest. He puts a hand on Cas' shoulder to usher him inside. Cas knows resistance is futile.

"Get in," he insists. Cas hates the way he just shoves him around. As soon as the door is locked, Dean launches onto Cas, kissing his lips and cradling his chin in his hands. Cas stands limp, not returning _any_ of Dean's enthusiasm.

Cas sighs before returning the kiss, a little begrudgingly. They only share a few deep kisses before Dean speaks.

"Turn around," Dean whispers and Cas freezes.

"What?" He cries. They'd done plenty of _touching_ and other things in here but they'd never done _that_. Not here, "No, Dean," Cas protests, shaking his head slightly.

"Oh, c'mon," Dean persuades, forcing Cas to turn around as he presses his hardness against Cas' backside and runs his hands all over him. Cas groans at the contact. It makes him hate Dean even more because he has a hard time saying no, "I know you want it," Dean whispers seductively, pursing his lips against the back of Cas' neck. Cas prays for the willpower to turn him down, hating that he's right.

"Dean, I don't know about this," Cas whispers timidly.

"Just shut up and take it, Cas." Dean says and there's annoyance in his voice.

Usually, Cas may go weak in the knees at Dean's controlling way in the bedroom but today, he's been pushed way too far and he knows that this isn't Dean just being playful as usual.

Cas turns around quickly and shoves Dean away from him as hard as he can, "Fuck you, Dean," Cas snarls, feeling somewhat smug by his ability to push Dean so hard that he slams against the door.

"What the fuck?" Dean asks, an angry expression on his face. Cas wonders if Dean would ever hit him. If he has it in him at all, Cas is about to find out.

"I'm not in the mood." It's a lie but Cas is mad and he's not going to just give in because his groin currently has dibs over his blood quantity.

"Cas, c'mon," Dean says, slightly amused, knowing full well that he can get away with it, "You're always in the mood." Dean claims his lips again but Cas refuses to return the kiss. Dean moves on to nibble at Cas' neck.

"You know," Cas fumes, "you've been acting like a real asshole lately."

Cas almost screams in frustration as Dean chuckles, "Yeah? So nothing's changed, right?" Cas almost scoffs, Dean sounds _pleased_. What happened to the person who wanted nothing more than to prove to Cas that he isn't a jerk?

Cas grits his teeth, "No, you see… things definitely changed… I just think now they've changed back," Cas admits sadly and Dean's lips slow their kisses. Dean's heart breaks at the thought of Cas thinking that he's gone back to the bullying, self-righteous prick he's always been. _But that's the point right?_ He asks himself, _when you were a prick you didn't have to worry about being in love._

"How about I make it up to you?" Dean whispers against Cas' skin, unable to say what he really wants to say.

Cas frowns, "How about you don't treat me like shit, Dean?"

Dean pulls away to give Cas small smile, "Aw, I'm sorry baby," he soothes, placing his hands on either side of Cas' face. Cas lets him, almost sighing with relief at Dean's turnover, "do you want me to stroke your hair for you while you suck my cock?"

The comment fills Cas up with rage so quickly, it's as if his words lit a fire that's now coursing through Cas' entire body. Cas grabs a hold of Dean's shirt and rams him hard against the door so that he's pinned there. Their lips are almost touching and Cas' hot breath is on Dean's mouth. The smug smile finally leaves Dean's face, "You know what, Dean?" Cas growls, "I'm getting really sick of this shit… You think you can just whistle and I'll come running?"

"No, of course not," Dean says softly, now regretting his attempt to 'claim his place'. He suddenly realises that pushing Cas wasn't a good idea. What if Cas walks out? Dean can't handle that. Dean takes dominance with everyone, why is Cas the exception? Why can he resist? And, more to the point, why does Dean back down as soon as Cas gets serious?

"Bullshit!" Cas growls, "I'm just sex to you, aren't I?"

"Cas, of course n-," Dean begins.

"Shut up, Dean!" Cas yells, "It was a rhetorical question."

Dean falls silent immediately. A rush of heat fills his body at the penetrating gaze Cas gives him. Cas is mad, _really_ mad, Dean has never seen anything like it before.

Cas looks over Dean thoughtfully. He feels something stirring within him, something about being in total control and reducing Dean to a nervous wreck. Like he's finally getting his revenge on Dean for acting like a tool. He can't talk about his feelings, Dean just makes fun of him. This, however, has Dean alert to his seriousness.

He sees a glint in Dean's eyes, there's something there, something that wasn't there a second ago.

Cas is determined to hold out. He isn't going to just bend over and let Dean have his way with him. No, Cas has a better idea. Dean only acknowledges him for sex? Fine! If that's Cas' biggest advantage, he'll take it. Now, he's going to have Dean _his_ way and Dean can't say a single thing about it.

"Cas…" Dean manages to whisper, regret in his tone. If Cas leaves right now, he may literally get on his knees and beg.

"Shut up, Dean." Cas sneers and Dean's heart breaks. Is this it? Is Cas leaving him?

Cas scrunches his fist tighter at the front of Dean's shirt and pulls him roughly away from the door.

"I'm sick of doing things your way," Cas jeers as he pushes down against Dean's shoulders, "Get on your knees," he demands, forcing Dean to kneel. Cas grabs a fistful of the boy's hair. Dean wonders if Cas heard his thoughts about begging until Cas' other hand begins to undo his belt and Dean's mouth falls open.

Cas eagerly opens the front of his pants to unleash his member. He doesn't wait for Dean's permission before forcing his way into Dean's mouth. Cas groans, locking both his hands into Dean's hair.

Dean grunts in surprise before the shock subsides and Dean's pants tighten to an impossible extinct at the action. Cas taking total control and not caring about Dean's wants. It drives Dean crazy. Cas pulls Dean's head back by his hair and thrusts into his mouth roughly. He only needs to do it once before Dean grabs hold of the base of Cas' hardness and eagerly begins to run his tongue up and down the shaft, bobbing his head rhythmically, completely lost in his overwhelming desire for his lover.

Cas moans, keeping his hands firmly entwined in Dean's hair, unwilling to let go of control.

"That's it, baby," Cas groans and tilts his head back, "Just like that."

Dean moans around Cas, sending vibrations straight to Cas' member. Cas looks down at Dean, filled with even more desire just by watching Dean work.

Dean reaches for his belt, unable to stand the painfully hard erection pressing against his jeans' zipper. Cas notices Dean's intentions and uses his foot to kick away Dean's hand.

"Don't you fucking dare," Cas warns and Dean drops his hand from his belt with a simultaneous groan. Cas smiles at his ability to make Dean look so frustrated and yet so aroused.

Cas' actions only make Dean more painfully hard. Why does having Cas use him and tell him what to do make Dean so fucking crazy? Something about Cas just _taking_ from him makes Dean quiver with excitement. Not only does he quiver with excitement but all he wants to do is be used and please Cas to his full extent.

Cas thrusts hard and deep into Dean's mouth, making Dean gag. The gag makes Cas all the more thrilled.

Cas yanks Dean off by his hair so that he's staring up at him with his mouth open and his eyes wide.

"You want this back, Dean?" Cas asks as he teasingly runs the tip of his shaft along Dean's bottom lip. Dean tremors at the action. He nods and moves towards Cas, trying to take him in his mouth once more but he's foiled when Cas painfully yanks him away again. Dean groans, half from pain and half from lust.

"I said," Cas says through his teeth, "do you want this, Dean?"

"Yes, Cas," Dean breathes and Cas smiles darkly.

"Tell me," Cas insists.

A look of confusion passes over Dean's face before he realises what Cas wants, "I want your dick in my mouth, Cas," Dean whispers and is rewarded by Cas' lustful smile.

"Of course you do," Cas says, continuing to trace Dean's lip with his tip, "you have lips _meant _for sucking cock."

Cas guides Dean's mouth back onto his shaft and Dean moans appreciatively.

"You know, Dean," Cas begins and he knows that he can torture Dean, now that he's in control, "it's hard to deny being gay when you have a mouthful of cock," Cas grins when Dean's eyes grow dark. Dean attempts to pull away to protest but Cas forces him back ruthlessly, feeling the back of Dean's throat against his tip. "Did I fucking say you could stop?" Cas spits harshly.

Dean's entire body vibrates at the abuse and he can't help himself when he grabs a hold of Cas' hips and sucks him harder and faster than before, even more desperate to please him.

Cas lets out a loud moan, "Good boy, Dean," he encourages.

Cas feels himself build but isn't done having fun yet. He pulls Dean off of him like he did before.

"Tell me what I want to hear Dean," he commands and Dean looks confused. Cas leans down to Dean's level with his hand still gripping Dean's hair. "Admit that you're totally and completely gay for me."

Dean looks at Cas but is unable to speak. Cas moves closer so that he may whisper in Dean's ear.

"Dean… if you don't admit it… I will not let you touch me again… I will stand up… make you watch me jerk myself off and then leave you here," Cas hears a faint moan and smiles, "But I think you'd like that too much so… I guess I'll just have to kick you out so that I can finish this myself."

This time, Dean groans loudly at the dirty talk. He fights with himself but then thinks of how much he wants Cas to continue, even if Cas punishes him with the former suggestion, that'll drive Dean crazy.

Dean swallows, "I'm totally gay for you, Cas," Dean admits and Cas smiles in satisfaction.

"Good," Cas says quietly before standing up. He removes his hand from Dean's hair to grab a hold of his collar and yank him to his feet. As soon as Dean's on his feet, Cas turns him around, pushes him up against the wall and pins him there with his hand on the back of Dean's neck.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean whispers.

Cas reaches around to undo Dean's belt and drops his pants and slides down his briefs. Cas tugs at Dean's shirt and rips it away from him, leaving Dean feeling completely vulnerable. Cas uses his foot to force Dean's legs further apart, "Spread your legs," Cas demands, making Dean feel like a piece of meat and he likes it.

"Cas…" Dean whispers and it's a warning, Dean doesn't know if he's ready for this sober, but Cas ignores him as he drops down on his knees. Dean frowns before he feels something foreign, warm and wet tonguing his entrance. "Cas!" Dean cries in a shaky, shocked voice. Cas pushes his hands against Dean's back to remind him to stay glued to the wall and Dean obeys. Cas continues to flick his tongue and circle Dean's entrance.

"Oh, God, Cas," Dean moans, his voice still shaky like he can't believe what Cas is doing, "fuck, that's hot."

Cas pulls away and sends a shocking and hard smack across Dean's behind. Dean gasps, "You speak when I tell you to, Winchester," Cas demands.

"Yes, Cas," Dean responds instantly and Cas rewards him by returning his tongue against Dean's entrance. Dean starts moving with Cas' tongue, trying to press himself harder against it, begging for more. Dean bites down on his fist to keep from moaning and saying dirty things to Cas.

Cas stops too soon and stands to press his hard package against the crease in Dean's backside. Dean moans at the touch but knows what's coming. Before he can protest, Cas forces two fingers into Dean's mouth.

"Suck," Cas orders and Dean obliges, sucking and lubricating Cas' fingers sensually. Cas grabs Dean's ass firmly before sliding two fingers into Dean's entrance. Dean stifles a gasp at the intrusion; it's a lot more uncomfortable than last time. Cas gives Dean a second to relax before he starts moving in and out. Dean moans softly but Cas still wonders if he's pushing too far.

Cas leans over to whisper in Dean's ear, his voice much softer than before, "Tell me to stop and I will," he says, letting Dean know that he's safe.

The thought of losing rough-handling, in-control Cas hurts Dean, "Don't you _dare_ stop," he replies quickly and Cas smiles evilly before ramming his fingers into Dean harder and making Dean groan.

"You like that, Dean?" Cas asks as he uses his fingers to scissor Dean open.

"Yes, Cas," Dean moans. Cas moves his fingers harder and quicker and soon Dean is out of control.

Dean starts moaning so loud than Cas has to put one hand roughly over his mouth to keep him quiet. Cas removes his fingers abruptly and Dean whimpers. All Dean can hear is Cas spitting into his hand and he knows what's coming.

Cas rubs his tip against Dean's now-sensitive area. Dean moans, wanting to yell at Cas to stick it in but unable to speak.

"You seem tense, Dean," Cas observes teasingly, "why don't you tell me what you want?"

"I want you to fuck me, Cas," Dean replies immediately and Cas chuckles but doesn't move.

"Beg me, Dean," Cas implores.

"Please, Cas," Dean pleads, "I need you to fuck me," Dean breathes heavily, unable to stop the words because he's too turned on to care what comes out of his mouth, "I want you to fuck me so hard into this wall that it hurts."

Dean's words send Cas over the edge and he has to bite down on his lip to keep from moaning. He plunges into Dean so hard that Dean lets out a painful gasp and Cas covers his mouth again to silence him. If it weren't for Dean's gasp, Cas wouldn't have been able to stop there, he would've had to immediately start thrusting, forgetting that Dean needs to adjust.

Cas presses his hand against Dean's neck again and waits for Dean to relax around him.

"Can I speak?" Dean asks hopefully and Cas almost smiles at his commitment.

"Yes Dean, you may speak," Cas allows him.

"Please move, Cas," Dean implores and Cas smiles as he slowly eases himself out of Dean so that only the tip remains inside.

Cas pushes in again, just as agonisingly slow. Cas continues to tease Dean which proves exceptionally difficult when he can barely control his lust.

"Fuck Cas, please move faster," Dean begs and Cas responds by bringing a hand down of Dean's ass. Dean curses under his breath at the abuse as it sends strange pleasures through his body, despite the pain of it.

"Shut your mouth, Dean," Cas tells him and Dean silences himself by biting down on his fist.

Cas pulls back once more before ramming into Dean hard, making Dean groan against his hand. Cas moves out and then slams back in again. With each brutal thrust, Cas speeds up until he's furiously pumping into Dean.

Cas longs to hear Dean's dirty talk, "Speak, Dean," Cas merely says and Dean knows what Cas wants him to say.

"Spank me again, Cas," Dean begs and Cas smiles in surprise and delight. He chuckles as he spanks Dean again, enjoying his cries of mixed pleasure and pain.

"You like being punished, Dean?" Cas asks as he continues to pound into Dean.

"By you? Fuck yes, Cas," Dean admits and Cas smiles to himself at the specification.

"Good," Cas says simply.

Both boys jump and freeze at the sound of the school bell.

"Shit!" Dean curses quietly.

Cas pins Dean against the wall with his hips, going deeper inside him as he does, "Don't move," Cas whispers as he tilts Dean's head back so that it's resting against his shoulder and places one hand over his mouth. Cas begins pumping into Dean again. He sees Dean's shocked eyes stare up at him but Cas merely smiles wickedly as he speeds up. Dean's moans grow as Cas pumps into him, rougher and more furious than before. Dean has to fight every temptation in his body not to scream into Cas' hand.

"I should open the door," Cas whispers huskily into Dean's ear, nibbling at the lobe, "let everyone watch while I fuck your brains out." Dean moans louder as he hears the bustling of students just outside the door. The fear of having people so close while Cas fucks him in the closest makes Dean so hot that he can't believe it. "I bet you'd like that," Cas continues in his deep, sultry voice as he slows his rhythm, "I bet you'd like having everyone stare while I ram myself into your tight, little ass." Cas presses into Dean harder at his last words. Cas chuckles at the desperate noises coming from Dean. "But you can't have it… there's no fucking way I'd ever let _anyone_ watch you," Cas growls and Dean feels himself thrive with pleasure over the jealousy in Cas, "You are _not _for anyone else! Do you understand?"

Cas removes his hand briefly so that Dean may speak, "Yes, Cas… I'm only for you." Cas smiles before covering Dean's lips again.

The noises outside the door thin out until there's nothing. Cas stops thrusting but remains submerged in Dean. He removes his hand from Dean's mouth

"Do you want me to keep going, Dean?" Cas asks and Dean nods.

"Please, Cas, I need it so bad," Dean whispers and Cas merely chuckles.

"God dean… you want my dick so bad… I bet you'd let me fuck you dry."

Cas' words send shivers through Dean. He'd been doing that the whole time, how can Cas do that? Say one fucking thing and Dean is hopelessly turned on. The thought of getting fucked dry is terrifying, it already hurts using lubricant but, as Dean considers it, he knows he would do it. There's no way he'd say no if Cas brought him to this point and demanded it. As much as it would hurt, Dean would bend over willingly and suffer through the pain just so Cas could get off. Dean really is screwed.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean says, his voice thick with last, "fuck yes, I would."

Shock runs through Cas' body. Would Dean actually let him do that? The words make him crazy with lust for Dean and he launches into his rhythm pump once more.

Dean feels something deep within him stir and he knows that an orgasm is pending. If he doesn't get some relief soon, he may die or, at least, pass out. Dean reaches down to his rock hard cock but Cas smacks his hand away.

"Don't even think about it, Dean," Cas growls at him, "You are not allowed to come… This isn't for you."

Dean growls in disappointment, unable to stop the pleasure running through him at Cas' words, making his situation all the harder, no pun intended.

Dean knows that Cas is building as his thrusts get deeper and faster. Cas' hands grasp at Dean's bare stomach and he digs his fingernails into Dean's skin as hard as he can. Dean's too preoccupied to notice. Cas also leans his forehead against Dean's back to bite and suck against his skin.

Dean has never felt like this. He never thought himself to be submissive but feeling used like he's nothing more than a sex toy, does things to him that he can't explain.

Dean feels himself climb and he considers letting himself come but feels compelled not to disappoint Cas.

"Cas, you have to stop," Dean warns, "or I'm gonna come."

Cas pulls out immediately and Dean whimpers, half hoping that Cas was going to let him come. Cas continues to lean against Dean's back, with his hands pressed against the wall on either side of Dean's head, panting.

Cas spits on his hand once more to give himself some more lubrication before readying himself to try again.

"Now," Cas pants, "Do you think you could control yourself this time?" He spits with venom in his tone. Dean can't help but love the way Cas speaks to him.

"Yes, sir," Dean replies and he thinks he can sense Cas' smile.

Cas plunges himself deep within Dean and begins to pump furiously, bringing himself closer and closer to the edge. Cas keeps a firm hold on Dean's hip and brings one hand up to grip Dean's hair and pull it back to whisper in his ear.

"Who's your daddy, Dean?" He whispers and Dean can almost hear him chuckle.

"You are," Dean groans immediately.

"Good boy," he responds before giving him a rewarding smack on the behind. Dean bites down on his fist to keep from screaming.

"You're my little bitch, aren't you?" Cas asks.

"Yes, sir," Dean replies.

"Say it," Cas implores as he thrusts into Dean faster.

"Fuck," Dean moans, "Oh God… I'm your bitch, Cas… I'd let you do whatever you want to me… As long as I can have your dick."

Cas moans loudly, feeling himself getting closer.

"Cas…" Dean begins, "I'm sorry… but I don't think I can hold on much longer."

Dean feels like he's about to explode and he doesn't know if he can hold back. Dean expects Cas to pull out but he doesn't. Instead, he reaches over to Dean's rock-hard cock and begins stroking him.

"Oh jesus-fucking-christ, Cas," Dean moans against the wall.

Cas removes his hand, "Jerk yourself off, Dean," Cas demands and Dean obliges. Cas places two hands on Dean's hips and thrusts into him vigorously.

Cas feels Dean building, "Do NOT come before me," he demands and Dean has to force himself to slow his hand down so that he doesn't disappoint.

"Talk to me, Dean," Cas demands.

"Fuck, Cas… this is so fucking hot… you're unbelievable," Dean breathes, his words getting dirtier, the closer he gets to climax, "I love having your dick in my ass," he confesses and Cas moans at the words. "You're so fucking sexy when you're in control… I _want_ you to use me like I'm just sex toy, Cas."

Cas chuckles darkly before leaning in to whisper, "You _are_ my sex toy, Dean."

Dean groans, trying his best to keep himself from climaxing. Cas is building, getting very close but needing something from Dean before this all ends.

Cas grabs a fistful of Dean's hair and presses him against the wall roughly.

"Tell me you love me, Dean," Cas demands.

Dean doesn't think twice about it, "Fuck, I love you Cas… I love you so fucking much."

Cas cries out as he reaches his climax and spills his seed into Dean. Dean feels safe to finally let go as he spills himself all over the floor. They both ride out their long-overdue orgasm before Cas collapses against Dean, trying to catch his breath.

Cas pulls back and smiles at the darkly coloured, impressive hickeys all over Dean's back, he doesn't even remember doing that. Cas pulls out of Dean.

Dean pulls on his pants and turns around to look at Cas and lean against the wall.

"Cas," he breathes, "That was… fucking incredible," he practically moans at the memory, "I mean… there are no words."

Cas feels exhilarated and proud at his ability to make Dean feel that way. He _should_ be proud, he'd just given the man he loves the best sex of his life, no girl can compare to Cas.

Cas doesn't show any of his feelings, though, except for a subtle smirk as he zips up his pants.

"That was punishment, Dean," he reminds him, a little amused.

Dean smiles goofily, "Well then, I need to piss you off more often," he replies.

Cas reaches out to grab Dean's jaw between his fingers and thumb, "Don't be cute," Cas says with his 'you're a smartass but I love you' expression, although Cas thinks it's his 'you're a smartass and I won't tolerate your shit' expression.

Cas pulls Dean towards him by his chin to give him a quick, hard kiss before letting go and turning away. Cas picks up a dirty rag from the janitor's stash and throws it to Dean.

"Clean that up," Cas orders, gesturing to the mess Dean caused and Cas grabs his bag and leaves without another word.

Dean sighs, feeling sad and yet strangely content. Cas is still mad, it's obvious and Dean knows now that he has to fix it but he has faith that Cas will forgive him. He can't fuck Dean into oblivion and then walk away. At least, Dean didn't think so. If that was half as good for Cas as it was for Dean, then there's no way Cas is walking away but Dean has to ensure that. None of these games, no more trying to manipulate this relationship; he just needs Cas to be Cas and he _needs_ Cas.

"Fuck," Dean whispers to himself as he rests quickly, "I'm so fucking gay," he admits. There's no going back now. Cas makes him feel so good that he can't even imagine wanting to be with anyone else ever again. He hasn't even been able to summon the ability to fantasise about women. He'll gladly take Cas' firm pecks and cute, little nipples over the best pair of breasts any day. He'd much rather kiss Cas' lips and feel his stubble against his chin than kiss anyone else's mouth. And he wants Cas' dick much more than he's ever wanted pussy.

Dean wipes up his mess and then hurries out of the closet.

Jo dawdles down the the hall to get to the bathroom. She stops when she thinks she hears distant noises but she doesn't know where it's coming from. She stands there for a moment, deliberating until she realises that it's stopped. She dismisses it but then she hears a door creak. She quickly moves to hide herself behind the lockers where they create a gap for the bathroom door. She peaks around it to see that kid, Castiel from homeroom, hurry down the hall like he's just come from the janitor's closest. Jo covers her mouth to stifle a shocked laugh, realising what those noises were. Jo's pretty sure that kid's gay and beams at the prospect of juicy gossip and getting to see who the little outcast is fucking. _Unless the kid was in there by himself_, Jo thinks, _he _is_ totally weird._

Jo waits patiently but her gut drops as she sees a familiar tuft of dark, dirty blonde hair. Dean adjusts his hair and makes sure his clothes are straight. Jo ducks behind the lockers again to ensure that she's fully hidden. Her hand automatically covers her mouth in shock. _What the fuck?_ She thinks, _Did I really see Dean-fucking- Winchester come out of the closest after fucking a dude! No pun intended._

Jo feels her cheeks flush. Dean's been a famous ladies' man all his life, was that him overcompensating? Has he been secretly gay all this time? Jo feels as if she can't breathe. She peaks back over the lockers and Dean is gone.

She tries to calm herself but it's impossible. She hurries back to class and takes her seat trying, desperately, not to be too obvious that she's just been witness to the biggest piece of gossip in the school's history.

It takes Jo a while to realise that Meg is talking to her because the bell has gone and it's time to leave.

"Jo, you alright?" Meg asks and Jo nods, "Gosh, don't tell me _you're_ going funny too."

Jo blushes but tries to focus on the conversation, "What? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, just Dean's been acting weird," Meg informs her, "do you know what his problem is?"

Jo frowns, "Of course not!" She practically yells, "I don't follow the boy around twenty-four seven… I don't know what he does."

"Alright, calm down," Meg says, "I think it's just a little weird… he's acting very strange, he even _says_ strange things."

"Well…" Jo's voice is shaking with nerves and anger, "he may be acting strange but Dean's our friend and I think we just need to butt out of his business and be supportive," She snaps before grabbing her things and storming off.

Jo realises, in that moment, that, despite her shock, all she really cares about is Dean's wellbeing. She needs him to be okay if this all comes out. The thing that really hurts her is how Dean's been keeping this from her. They're best friends, right?

_If Ash knows before me, _She thinks,_ I'm gonna pummel Dean._

Meg watches her go, frowning. _Now what was _that_ about?_ She wonders before a reason comes to mind, _she knows what's up with Dean… so there _is _something going on_. Meg knew it! If Jo knows, then Meg is going to find out what the hell is going on. Jo said butt out but screw that, if Jo knows, she can know.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry this one took a while and is shorter than usual but more is coming very very soon, enjoy.

Cas doodles in his notebook, trying to get through his last class of the day, when his phone vibrates.

_I haven't stopped thinking about you._

Dean's message reads. Cas replies quickly.

**Good... you've had time to think about what you did.**

_Sounds like you're still mad._

**I'm not mad, Dean… I'm fucking pissed… if you're not okay with us then why are we bothering?**

Dean starts to panic.

_Because I'm crazy about you._

**Yeah… Well, actions speak louder than words. **

_Cas please… I'm sorry… I need to tell you that I _am_ ok with us._

**Oh really? And why the sudden turn around?**

_I thought you were gonna leave me, Cas, and that scared me to death._

**Really?**

_Yes, Cas... and I can't lose you._

**Dean…I don't want to feel this way anymore.**

_Feel what way?_

**Hurt… insecure… like I'm nothing but a toy to you.**

_Cas… you know it's not like that… you _know_ how I feel._

**Do I? Dean… You can't even admit that you're gay unless we're fucking.**

_Cas… I'm completely, totally and utterly gay for you._

**What!? Dean, have you been drinking?**

_No, Cas, I mean it… I mean, I'm not ready for everyone to know but… I'm okay with it._

**Dean, you don't know what that means to me.**

_I know, Cas… I'm just sorry that it took me so long. I love you, man._

**Dean… I think I'm straight.**

_Shut up, Cas… I'm pouring my heart out here._

**I'm sorry, Dean… I love you too… you know I do.**

_Good… now, can I see you after school?_

**I'll allow it.**

_Just one more thing… Is there any way I can piss you off enough to get a repeat of today?_

**I'm sure we can think of something, Dean.**

Cas leaves his class as the bell rings to hang outside until Dean's ready to take him home.

"Cas! Wait up!" A familiar voice calls out and Cas turns around to see Dean running towards him. Cas looks at him like he's lost his mind but Dean just smiles widely. There's a million people surrounding them but that doesn't stop him.

"Dean?" Cas asks as Dean catches up to him, completely sceptical.

"Yeah," he grins, "you ready?"

"Um," Cas begins, "yeah, of course."

Dean and Cas walk out together. Cas spots Dean's friends staring at them in confusion but Dean doesn't seem to care.

"Dean?" Cas asks timidly as the two of them head towards the Impala.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"What're you doing?" He asks, "Everyone's staring."

Dean shrugs, "You're my friend," he begins before turning to wink at Cas, "well, as far as anyone else knows… but I want to spend all my time with you… so I'm going to."

Cas smiles, unable to control it. They get to the Impala and Cas crawls into the front seat. Dean joins him but doesn't start the car. Cas realises that he's waiting for Sam.

"I don't think your friends like this," Cas whispers, looking at the dark haired girl who pushed him earlier. Cas recognises a glare when he sees one.

"It's actually kind of liberating," Dean responds and Cas frowns, "I was so concerned about what they'd think and now it's happened and I can't summon the ability to care."

Cas realises that he'd just pointed out the inevitable fiasco that Dean wanted to avoid in the first place. Cas wonders if he should've given Dean more credit.

"Dean," Cas begins quietly, "I want you to know that I appreciate this… I know what it's costing you and it means a lot to me… and I'm sorry I pushed."

Dean shakes his head, "You didn't push Cas…" he begins with a sad tone to his voice, "It's my fault… _I'm _the idiot for not treating you the way you deserve to be treated in the first place."

"But your friends-," Cas begins but Dean cuts him off.

"Can get the fuck over it," Dean snaps, almost harshly, "I don't want you to care about them and I certainly don't want you to think that _I_ care because I don't."

Cas reaches over to gently stroke the back of Dean's hand, careful not to make the action too obvious to the curious eyes that are surely peering in.

Dean squeezes Cas' hand back affectionately but the hand is ripped away from him as they're disturbed by the sound of the car door opening.

"Hey Cas!" Sam calls as he slides into the back seat. Cas returns a sheepish smile. "How are you?"

"Fine, Sam," Cas says softly, "How are you?"

"Great, thanks," Sam grins. Cas notices that Dean's staring at Sam in the rear-view mirror with a frown.

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Dean asks, showing false outrage and offence.

Sam smirks and opens his mouth to surely retort with a witty remark but Cas gets there first.

"If the shoe fits," Cas mutters under his breath so quiet that it's almost like he doesn't want to be heard but he is.

Sam bursts out laughing. Dean's face snaps to Cas and his expression is of utter shock. Cas can't help but smirk a little proudly.

"So, now you're gonna gang up on me with my kid brother?" Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Oh, well… when you present me with such obvious openings, I can't help it."

Dean shakes his head but can't help the smile that fills his face. He spares one last adoring glance at him before starting the engine and taking off.

Sam watches his brother and the light that touches his eyes warms Sam's heart. He hasn't seen Dean so carelessly happy since… well, he doesn't know when. Dean hadn't admitted it yet but Sam could see it. It's not obvious to others but it's obvious to Sam, he knows Dean too well. He sees how Cas and he interact. He knew it the first time Cas came over and he walked in on their fight. Friends don't fight like that. Friends don't argue like they're fuelled with passion and friends certainly don't look at each other like they think the other is the most beautiful thing on the planet. It's also how they talk to each other. Dean doesn't say a smart comment and shake off Cas' insults like he usually does, he revels in every word that falls from the boy's mouth. He laughs at every little cheeky thing Cas says, his face lights up just by looking at the kid. Whether or not Dean admits it, he shows it, that he's completely and utterly in love with Castiel. Sam can't concentrate on the fact that his brother's in love with a guy or wondering if he's always had these tendencies, he can only bask in the beauty that is Dean's unadulterated happiness.

"What the fuck just happened?" Meg spits.

Jo mentally flinches at her words but doesn't speak up. She can't help her own nausea creeping up in her throat at the sight of Dean speeding off with Cas in his front seat. They'd walked next to each, practically holding hands. Maybe Jo just saw it that way because she's in on the secret.

Ash shrugs in response to Meg's question but nobody really notices, "Dean's made a new friend," he says impassively. Ash doesn't judge, he never judges. They could've all just been witness to what Jo saw earlier and Ash's response would be the same.

"Yeah with some little dweeb," Meg says.

Ash shrugs to himself again, "Dean thinks he's cool… He must be."

Meg scoffs like she can't believe that Jo and Ash aren't as outraged as she is. Jo remains silent as ever, refusing to give Meg any satisfaction.

"They've never spoken before and now they're suddenly best buds?" Meg asks, wondering if her bet had caused this new friendship. Only she knows it wasn't a friendship Dean was after.

Meg startles everyone by laughing, "Maybe they're fucking," she giggles.

"Shut the fuck up, Meg," Jo snaps before realising what she's saying.

"Excuse me?" Meg asks with as much attitude as she can muster.

Jo wants to bite her lip but thinks that since she's come this far, she may as well drive it home. Jo turns to face Meg so that she can unleash the full force of her scowl upon on her.

"Can you – for once – not be so goddamn judgemental?" Jo cries.

"What the hell is your problem?" Meg retorts, crossing her arms as if to emphasise her point.

"_You_ Meg… _You're _my problem!" Jo yells, growing even more frustrated by the second, "For fuck's sake, leave Dean alone and stop acting like a stuck-up bitch!"

Jo storms away furiously. Ash can barely wipe the grin off his face until he catches Meg's unimpressed glare and he grows solemn. Ash says nothing but simply walks away to leave Meg stewing in her bitterness.

Meg chews her lip angrily as she mulls over Jo's words. Meg smiles to herself as the pieces fall into place. She gasps.

"Oh my God," Meg whispers, "They're fucking!"

Dean and Cas spend the afternoon watching a movie and trying to share intimate moments as often as they can with Sam just upstairs.

It's nine 'o' clock before Dean realises that he hasn't fed Sammy.

"Shit," he curses and Cas gets up from his chest to stare at him curiously, "Dinner," he explains before frowning, "I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal."

Cas smiles, "Do you want me to cook you something?" He offers.

Dean raises his eyebrows with a slight smile on his lips, "You cook?"

Cas shrugs, "I'm okay," he says modestly.

Dean grins, "That's hot."

Cas smiles but rolls his eyes, "Well?" He reminds him.

"Well… As much as I would like for you to put on an apron and grope you while you cook me dinner… I don't think you can make anything edible out of baking soda and beer."

Cas smiles, "Well, then… what do you suggest? Pizza?"

"Well, if we grab something from the diner… we'll have to drive," Dean says with a twinkle in his eye.

Dean keeps his eyes on the road.

"I think we should talk about today," Dean begins.

Cas nods, "Very well," he agrees, although not thrilled about bringing up the earlier events.

"So, I made you pretty mad today, huh?" He prompts.

Cas shifts uncomfortably, "Yes."

"You are so fucking sexy when you're angry," Dean acknowledges. Cas grits his teeth. Although Dean had more than made up for it, Cas had been serious and extremely hurt. He had enjoyed himself and what they did in the closest was one of the single greatest moments of Cas' life but he didn't want Dean to think it was a joke.

"Dean… I was extremely furious with you," Cas snaps.

Dean notices the change of tone and frowns. He'd been trying to be playful, to shake off this mishap in their relationship.

"Yeah, I noticed Cas," Dean retorts angrily, a little hurt by the sharp response, "My ass is still killing me."

"It's not a joke, Dean," Cas replies.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" _How did we end up fighting so quickly?_ Dean wonders. "I thought we were okay… I was just trying to… I don't know what."

"We _are_ okay," Cas replies, his voice now apologetic and soft. "I just… I don't want you to think that that's going to happen every time you screw up."

Dean flinches at the harsh words, "Cas, I know… Trust me… I'm _not_ going to take you for granted… I never want to feel like I'm losing you again… I almost fell to pieces when I thought you might leave me…"

"I would've Dean," Cas says simply.

Dean feels the blood rush from his face and the contents of his stomach swirl like it's going to return to the surface.

"What?" Dean whispers and Cas can hear the devastation in his voice.

"Not because I wanted to," Cas says quickly, trying to fix what he's done to Dean with his careless sentence, "I just mean… I thought you… I was hurt and I thought you didn't care."

Dean allows himself to be calmed, "Well… I guess I deserve that… I acted like a dick."

"Yeah," Cas agrees. A silence fills this Impala before Cas speaks, "I'm sorry if I hurt you," he says quietly.

Cas jumps at the sound of Dean's laughter, "Cas… that was the best sex I've ever had… anything that hurts now is just a friendly reminder," Dean grins as Cas looks away, blushing.

"I may have gotten a little carried away… caught in the moment and all," Cas says shyly.

"No… you were great," Dean admits, "You look good in control," he says so quietly that Cas wonders if he was supposed to hear it.

"You look good in submission," Cas whispers just as quietly but Dean catches it. His eyes flash to Cas just in time to see him look out the window. Dean bites his lip to supress his grin.

"You know… all you have to do is ask," Dean tells him softly.

Cas smiles to himself, "I thought the whole point is for me to demand," he replies.

Dean hides his grin, "So demand," he prompts.

Cas smiles, getting a wicked idea, "let me drive," he responds.

Dean sputters out an outraged laugh, "No one drives my baby."

Cas doesn't think before reaching out to knot his fingers into Dean's hair to tug lightly, startling him. "It wasn't a question, Dean," Cas says darkly. Dean lets out an involuntary groan before reluctantly pulling over and putting the Impala in park.

Cas quickly swings his leg over so that he's straddling Dean, paving the way for him to move over. He looks down at Dean's expectant face.

Cas leans in as if to kiss Dean but doesn't.

"Slide over," Cas whispers. Dean slides over immediately so that Cas can sit in the driver's seat.

"Just," Dean begins as Cas reaches for the gearstick, "be careful with her."

Cas smiles reassuringly but it's false, "Don't tell me what to do," he says and smiles at the fall of Dean's face.

Cas takes off, smiling to himself at the pained noise Dean makes. Cas purposely speeds a little and takes a little longer than he should to change gears. Dean remains as quiet as he can but Cas can see the way his knuckles have gone white from his strained fists.

"You look uneasy, Dean," Cas says.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind, Cas," Dean replies in a shaky voice.

Cas smirks, "Would you like a distraction, baby?" He asks.

Dean would laugh if he weren't so anxious, "Yes."

Cas takes a hand off the steering wheel and reaches for his belt. He expertly undoes his buckle and unzips his pants. Dean notices as Cas reaches into his pants to reveal his hard on. All Dean's nerves fade away as his concentration falls on Cas and the blood rushes from his head.

Dean's eyes finally find Cas' face and his eyes are darting from Dean and back to the road.

"Are you looking for an invitation?" Cas says smugly.

Dean smiles before closing the distance between himself and Cas.

"You don't have to act so cocky," Dean says with a smile on his lips.

Cas grins before reaching up to grab Dean by the hair, "Shut the fuck up," he tells him before roughly guiding his mouth onto his own hardness. Dean doesn't resist but welcomes the invasion eagerly. He works Cas hard and fast, desperate to please him. Cas moans, rubbing the back on Dean's head and keeping his other hand on the wheel. Dean completely forgets the fact that Cas' is driving his car.

"Oh god, Dean," Cas breathes, trying to focus on the road. "Oh fuck!" Cas cries before exploding into Dean's mouth, forcing his head down hard.

Dean forces himself not to gag as he swallows Cas. Dean retracts, wiping his mouth and enjoying the view of Cas panting with his head leaning against the headrest. Dean looks around to realise that the car has stopped moving and Cas has parked.

"When the fuck did you pull over?" Dean asks, completely unable to recall any of the car's movements.

Cas smiles, "Just before I…" he starts, panting, "I had to… otherwise I probably would've crashed."

"What!?" Dean demands but Cas just smiles and shrugs.

"I pulled over, didn't I?"

Dean shakes his head but laughs anyway, "You're an ass."

"That's why you love me."

Dean smiles to himself, "Yeah," he agrees in such a quiet voice that Cas doesn't hear it.

"I better get you home," Dean says, checking the time and sadly remembering that Cas has to go home.

Sam notices the subtle but mutual fall in Dean and Cas' expression at the thought of leaving each other. He rolls his eyes, thinking how much easier his brother's life would be if he just told him. _He's lucky I'm such a compassionate brother_, Sam thinks.

"It's already ten 'o' clock," Sam interrupts, "You won't get back until eleven… Cas may as well just stay over."

Sam turns away to pack the dishes into the sink. He almost senses the relieved glances that they're surely sharing behind his back.

"Well," Dean begins, "you cool to stay over Cas? I mean, I'm happy to take you home but you're welcome to stay."

Sam returns to the table to gather the dirty drinking glasses. He sees the forced shrug Cas gives Dean and Sam smiles to himself.

"If I can borrow some clothes to wear to school tomorrow, I can stay over," Cas suggests in a shaky voice. _Boy, he's a bad liar,_ Sam thinks.

Dean grins almost cheekily and Sam rolls his eyes again, practically hearing his brother's dirty thoughts.

"Yeah, sure," Dean responds.

_You can thank me later_, Sam thinks as he turns away to continue washing the dishes. Since Dean had gotten the food, Sam had to wash up, that was the deal. Although it was fair, Sam felt a little cheated because he'd purposely suggested the arrangement so that Dean and Cas could take a suspiciously long drive together. In his mind, _Dean _owed _him_.

"I can set up the couch for you," Dean suggests.

"The living room's the coldest room in the house," Sam intervenes, thinking he needs a goddamn medal for brother of the year. "You're better off setting up the sleeping bag in your room Dean."

Sam turns back to face Dean and catches the taken back look on his face. There's suspicion in his eyes but Sam's giving him what he wants so he doesn't push it. Cas, however, gives Sam a completely knowing look and then an almost appreciative smile.

"Yeah, alright," Dean agrees and gestures with his chin for Cas to follow him as he leaves the kitchen.

Cas stands slowly to follow but stops for a moment and looks back at Sam.

"Thanks," he says simply.

Sam smiles and shrugs modestly, "Anything for Dean."

"Something tells me you'd do anything for him," Cas observes.

"I have a feeling that you and I have that in common," Sam says quickly.

Cas nods, "Yes."

Sam smiles, "Then I have you covered," he winks. Cas smiles before finally following Dean upstairs.

Cas barely makes it over the threshold before he's attacked by Dean's lips. He's pushed against the door, shutting it with his back. Dean's body presses against his and excitement stirs in Cas' stomach.

Dean nibbles at Cas' bottom lip, groaning as he feels Cas' hardness against his own. He pulls back.

"Take your fucking clothes off," Dean whispers, "I've been hard since I sucked you off."

"Dean, Sam might hear," Cas whispers but it's an empty concern, he wants Dean just as much as Dean wants him.

He feels his lover smile against his own lips, "I'll just have to gag you."

He rips off Cas' shirt eagerly before turning him roughly. Dean entwines his digits over the back of Cas' hand to lock their fingers together. He forces Cas' hand against the wall to hold him in place as he presses himself against Cas' back. Cas groans at the contact as Dean moves his free hand to caress his stomach and run a tantalising hand over his chest and hips.

Dean's mouth finds Cas' neck and he devours eagerly, enjoying the groan that escapes his lover's lips. Cas bites down on his bottom lip to keep his noises down.

Dean's hand fumbles over Cas' belt buckle as he roughly liberates Cas from his jeans. Dean slides his tongue down Cas' neck and along his shoulder, nibbling as he does so.

"Dean," Cas breathes heavily and Dean's fingertips glide over Cas' hip bones and he groans.

"God, I love these hip bones," he whispers into Cas' ear. Dean grinds Cas hard into the door and Cas lets out an involuntary grunt. Dean digs his nails into Cas' stomach eagerly. Cas tries to seal his mouth but he moans anyway.

"Dean," Cas breathes, "we can't… Sam's going to hear."

Dean presses his hard package against Cas' backside again, smiling at the noise Cas makes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks with cheek in his voice. Cas remains quiet, "Well?" Dean prompts, nibbling at Cas' earlobe.

"No, I don't," Cas murmurs.

"Tell me," Dean insists.

"I don't want you to stop," Cas clarifies.

He feels Dean shake his head against his neck, "No, Cas… tell me what you want," Dean purrs in a seductive voice. Cas remains quiet. Dean reaches down to palm Cas' hard groin. "Tell me," he implores.

Cas groans in response, "I want you to fuck me," he breathes and he feels Dean's lips turn into a smile against the back of his neck.

"I never get tired of hearing that," Dean whispers before latching his fingers onto Cas' belt buckle. Cas aids Dean until the belt is removed and Cas' pants are around his ankles. Dean pats his pockets but there's nothing there.

"Don't move," Dean tells Cas as he disappears to fish in his draws for that special bottle. Once upon a time, he might've hoped that fucking a guy would mean that the times he had to kill the mood to fish out a condom would be long gone.

Cas stands awkwardly, feeling exposed but following Dean's request, nonetheless. It isn't long before Dean's chest is pinned against Cas' back again. Cas gasps as Dean pushes one slick digit into Cas' entrance without warning. Dean smiles at the noise but continues to play with Cas, enjoying the sounds of his soft moans. Dean feels his erection grow even more painfully hard as Cas moans louder into the door. Dean slides another finger inside him and hastily moves in and out of Cas, desperate to have him ready.

"Oh, God, Dean," Cas breathes, "I need it."

"Need what, Cas?" Dean teases.

Cas grunts but it's in frustration, "You Dean," he snaps, his voice thick with lust, "I need you to fuck me."

"That's better," Dean grins before abruptly removing his fingers. Cas whimpers at the loss of pressure. In one quick, swift movement, Dean turns Cas , grabs his wrists and pins his hands above his head. Dean keeps Cas' wrists locked with one hand and removes the other to quickly undo his belt buckle and pull out his member. Dean desperately digs into his pocket in search of the little plastic bottle he used before. Cas can feel the tip of his hardness against his stomach as Dean clumsily slicks himself.

"Dean," Cas says in a warning tone, "you may actually have to gag me."

Dean grins widely before wrapping his arm around Cas' waist and lifting him off his feet. Cas understands Dean's intentions and wraps his legs around his hips. Dean's hand is quick to guide himself into Cas in a quick, slick movement. Cas groans loudly and Dean's other hands releases his lover's hands to cover his mouth.

Dean smiles as he stares into Cas' lust filled and frustrated eyes. Dean doesn't dare move and he doesn't allow Cas to speak either. Cas pleads with his eyes for Dean to move. Dean bites his lips cheekily before using his free hand to grasp Cas' thigh and slowly ease out of him. Dean teases his lover for a moment before slamming back into him. He can feel the vibrations of Cas' muffled noises of pleasure against the palm of his hand. Dean picks up the pace until he's pounding into Cas hard and fast. Cas' moans are muffled but still audible. Dean tries to shush him but Cas can't control himself. Dean decides to take a different approach.

Dean pushes away from the door and carries Cas to the bed. He lays him down and eases out of his lover. He smiles to himself when Cas whimpers. Dean grabs a hold of Cas and roughly flips him onto his stomach, causing Cas to gasp. Dean hoists Cas' leg up as he puts his hand against his neck so that Cas is practically face down with his backside up, for Dean's taking.

"Bite down, baby," Dean encourages and Cas follows his direction and fills his mouth with Dean's pillow.

Dean wraps his hands around the hip bones he loves so much and re-enters Cas' warm, tender hole. Dean doesn't waste any time and immediately starts off at a fast, rhythmic pace. Cas groans into the pillow delightfully. It only makes Dean crazier.

"God you look good like that, Cas," Dean whispers and he can't help himself when he pulls his hand back to give Cas a good, firm smack on the behind. Cas yelps into the pillow but doesn't complain.

Dean feels himself building. He watches as Cas reaches up and wraps a hand around his own, hard member and begins working himself, matching Dean's pace. The action almost pushes Dean over the edge instantly but he holds himself off. _God,_ he thinks, _it was _never_ this hot with girls._

"Fuck, Cas," Dean swears as his thrusts become even more furious.

Cas pulls back to speak, "Dean… I'm gonna…" Cas doesn't finish his sentence as he reaches climax.

"Oh… fuck, Cas," Dean sputters as Cas' orgasm causes him to tighten around Dean's member, milking him into his own climax.

Dean collapses against Cas, unable to move. The weight of Dean doesn't concern Cas as he pants, trying to catch his breath. Dean eventually rolls off his lover and onto his bed.

"Fuck…" Dean pants, "fuck, I love you, Cas."

Cas smiles.


	8. Chapter 8

The worst part about being publically 'friends' with Cas is that Dean's not used to being so close to him without being able to touch him. It takes all of his willpower not to stroke his cheek in front of people. Every now and then he has to stop his hand midway before brushing Cas' lip with his thumb.

Now that they've both snuck away to spend the afternoon on the bleachers, Dean feels safe to hold his boyfriend's hand. They hadn't officially put a label on their secret relationship but Dean likes thinking of Cas as his boyfriend. He isn't going to say it out loud, though.

The past week had been a strange one. His friends had now met Cas and the shock of Dean and he together had worn off. Cas is shy and so the time he spends with Dean and his friends is often awkward but Dean knows that it takes time to love his boyfriend. Well, that's a lie, it's actually incredibly easy to love Cas but it takes time to notice him enough to know that. Nevertheless, his friends were being more than accepting. Ash is his usual, carefree self and Jo seems to be trying extremely hard to get to know Dean's 'new friend'. The only problem is Meg. She never speaks when Cas is around, which Dean wouldn't usually mind, but it's rude, even for Meg. He doesn't know if Meg's the problem or if he's just nervous around her because she's the only person with information that could destroy he and Cas. Whatever it is, it makes Dean anxious.

"What are we doing tonight?" Dean begins as he grazes the back of Cas' hand with his thumb.

"Don't you have your usual social gathering tonight?" Cas reminds him.

Dean shrugs, "I'd rather be with you."

Cas shakes his head, "Dean… we've spent every afternoon together this week… I don't think you should neglect your friends for me," he says in a serious voice.

Dean almost scoffs, "I'm not neglecting… I'm… postponing." Dean grins widely.

"Dean you have the rest of your life to be with me," Cas blurts out, unthinking. He bites his lip and feels compelled to mend his stupid and naïve assumption that Dean and Cas would last forever. _Stupid_, he thinks. "Well… you know… you have as long as you want." Dean doesn't speak and Cas can't bring himself to look at him.

Dean has the rest of his life to be with Cas? He never thinks more than a few days ahead but this makes him happy. The thought of having Cas all to himself for the rest of his life sounds like the perfect life. Sixty years _might_ be enough time with Cas… _might._ Cas says Dean can have him for as long as _he_ wants. Cas is offering his lifetime to Dean.

It takes Dean a few moments to realise he's smiling and hasn't responded to Cas yet. He now realises that his silence may be misinterpreted and Cas' words came out a little nervous.

Dean shrugs casually, "Yeah but I want to take advantage of the honeymoon period," Dean begins, "So that we'll have more memories for when we're an old, married couple and too fragile to do anything but reminisce about now."

Cas' mouth turns up into a large grin, _married? _He thinks. _Is he serious?_

"So," Dean continues, "fuck the party… let's go see a movie or something and you can feel me up in the back row," he grins wickedly.

Cas rolls his eyes, "I don't like it… Your friends already don't like me."

Dean frowns, "What? What makes you say that? Jo and Ash…"

"Are cool… but your friend Meg is a bit…" Cas crinkles his nose.

"No one likes Meg," Dean says quickly, "don't worry about her."

Cas sighs, "What do your other friends think?" He asks curiously.

Dean sighs. His _other_ friends. Ash and Jo are the only people he really cares about. The rest of the group just sort of fades into the background. Meg stands out because she's trouble but otherwise she'd fade too. There's Garth, who Dean likes but can't be around for too long because he's _always_ high and, despite the fact that the kid is so tall and gawky, he has wicked game. Then there's Ruby, who Dean's hated ever since the little vixen tried to get her manipulative claws into Sammy. He tries to pretend she doesn't exist. And lastly there's Charlie, the geeky little sister he never wanted. Charlie's cool but she talks about things that Dean doesn't understand, like computer hacking and Harry Potter.

"I'm not sure… I don't usually ask for their opinions," Dean explains.

"I like your friend Charlie… She's very intelligent… and Garth seems… nice," Cas says slowly.

Dean laughs, "Nice is one way to describe Garth."

"But I really don't like Meg… or Ruby," Cas says quickly but then realises maybe he should amend criticising Dean's friends, "I'm sorry."

Dean looks surprised but a little delighted, "Good…" He says happily, "Those two are trouble… I would be worried if you liked them."

Cas chews his lip, "There's something about them… they remind me of my brothers."

Dean almost growls. Cas has noticed that he does that on the odd occasion that he mentions his past. It fills Cas with warmth when it happens. It's the same feeling he gets when Dean kisses the scars on his body before they make love.

"I hate that you have to be reminded of them," Dean says through his teeth.

"It's okay, Dean, really. You make it better… It doesn't hurt to talk about it with you."

Dean squeezes Cas' hand tightly and looks away. He can't let Cas see how much that means to him.

"Well, if you want me to see my friends tonight, then you're coming with me," Dean says, changing the subject like he usually does when his emotions get too strong for him.

Cas smiles, "Aren't you sick of me, yet?" He asks.

Dean's face falls, "No… why? Are you sick of me?" He asks self-consciously.

Cas frowns but chuckles, "I don't think that's possible Dean… you change too much… you're always surprising me… always keeping me on my toes."

"Cas… if you don't want to see me tonight…" Dean begins, the insecurity still evident in his voice.

"Shut up, Dean," Cas dismisses him with a cool and calm voice, "Not to be dramatic… but I'd rather sit in hours' worth of traffic, watching paint dry and getting a lecture from Gabriel on how to get your money's worth in a strip club than go a night without you…" Dean lets himself smile, "I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend."

_Boyfriend_. The word's like music to Dean's ears.

"Well then… don't try," Dean grins and Cas chuckles, "So… are you coming with me to Ash's or are you coming back to my house? Your call."

Cas shakes his head, "We can go to Ash's," he says finally, "I'll take care of you if you get too drunk."

Dean smiles, "Now that's true love," he says with a little sarcasm in his voice. He quickly scans their surroundings before moving in to place a quick, chaste kiss against Cas' lips.

Cas sits awkwardly in the middle of the couch with his hands on his knees and that odd expression on his face. The one that's blank with a side of confusion, the one that makes Dean unable to tell what he's thinking. He wonders if Cas always looks that awkward and he just doesn't see it. Does he sit like that when Dean sits next to him? If that's so, they must look like the most unusual couple. Charlie says something that Dean can't hear and a smile touches Cas' eyes. Dean doesn't realise he's mirroring it until Ash finally breaks his concentration.

"Dean!? Hello!?" Ash calls. Dean breaks away to look at his friend.

"Yeah?" He asks.

Ash gives him a funny look, "You alright? You kind of spaced out there…"

Dean smiles, "yeah, sorry… I must be tired." Dean scans the rest of the room and his eyes find Jo's, who's staring at him with her bottom lip between her teeth. Dean frowns, hoping she hadn't noticed he'd been staring at Cas with a goofy grin on his face. Dean turns back to Ash but Jo's next to him in a second.

"Hey guys," she grins. Dean takes another sip of his beer.

"Hey… game of pool, Jo?" Ash asks.

Jo grins, "Can't," she says simply and gives Ash a purposeful shrug, "Menstrual cramps," she explains.

Ash's hands jump to cover his ears like what she said physically hurt him, "Argh," he says, "Too much information!" He cries before walking away. Jo smiles like that was just the reaction she was hoping for.

Dean waits as Jo turns her attention on him. In an instant, she jumps onto the pool table that Dean's leaning on so that she's sitting next to him.

"You know… Cas is pretty cute," Jo says frankly but Dean doesn't respond, "Is he single?"

Dean's heart leaps into his throat, "He's gay," he explains, knowing that's all he needs to say.

"Oh," Jo replies like she didn't know, "that's too bad… he has the _bluest _eyes! And those lips… so full… I bet he's a great kisser."

Dean bites his tongue; he doesn't know what weird game Jo's trying to play.

"You know… hot guys like Cas must get a lot of attention," she continues, "No doubt he's been around," she laughs and Dean grits his teeth. "It's always the quiet ones, you know… I bet he's a _huge_ slut… and no one would know." Jo laughs again, "Have you asked him if he gives or takes? I bet he takes…" Jo lets out yet another girlish giggle, "I bet he takes _a lot._"

"Shut the fuck up, Jo!" Dean yells loud enough so that the whole party stops. Dean bites his lip angrily, hating himself.

He turns to Jo, expecting shock but she's smirking. _The little vixen!_ Dean thinks. Jo jumps off the pool table and gestures for Dean to follow her. He does, feeling Cas' eyes on his back. Before they leave the garage, Dean hears the party start up again.

"That was an odd reaction," Jo begins but she's still smiling, "I mean… you and Cas are in a completely platonic relationship, right?"

Dean just gives her a dark look. _How did this happen?_ He wonders, _Is Jo really this intuitive?_

"I don't know what you're talking about," he denies and his arm is quickly met by Jo's fists.

"What's wrong with you?!" Jo begins, "How can you do this!?"

Dean almost growls, feeling hurt. Jo's his best friend, if she can't understand, what chance does he have?

"It's not like I have a fucking choice Jo!" He spits. Jo makes a face like she's confused.

"What?" She asks, outraged, "What? No… not that… I meant how can you lie to me?"

"Oh," Dean say, feeling foolish.

"I don't care that you're fucking Cas," Jo says quickly.

"Shhh," Dean says quickly, checking behind him to make sure that they're alone, "Do you wanna say it louder, Jo?"

Jo smiles, "Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, her voice softer now. "Did you really think I would judge you for it? What do you think of me, Dean?"

"Well… don't you?" He asks.

"What? I think it's great… what pisses me off is you telling Ash before telling me!"

"I didn't tell Ash…" Dean says quickly.

"You didn't? Really?"

"No… I haven't told anyone… Only Cas and his brother know," Dean explains and then his heart begins to race at the sight of Jo's funny expression. "Why?" He asks, suddenly worried. Had Jo told someone?

"Oh, well… Ash knows," she explains.

"Jesus Christ Jo!" Dean yells, "Did you tell anyone else!?"

Jo rolls her eyes, "I didn't say shit to Ash! He already knew."

Dean frowns, "He did?"

Jo nods, "I was snooping around for information, just asked him if he knew why you were acting strange lately… I was just trying to find out if he knew before me."

"And?"

"And he didn't tell me right away… but he already knew… maybe he caught you two or something and didn't wanna say anything, I just assumed you had told him."

Dean shakes his head, "I had no idea," he says simply. At least Ash hadn't been treating him differently, that was a plus. Dean swallows, "How did you…" he begins.

"I saw you," she explains, "in the closest… believe me, I almost shit bricks when I saw it."

"Classy as always, Jo," he comments.

"How long?" She wonders aloud.

"A few weeks," he responds.

"No," she says, "how long have you been… you know?"

Dean frowns, "Gay?" He asks and she nods. Dean smiles, "A few weeks," he says again.

"Oh, so there's only been Cas?" She asks.

Dean almost laughs, "I think it'll always be _just_ Cas… He did this to me," he explains.

"He _did_ this to you!?" She asks, outraged. "What did you _catch_ gay?"

Dean rolls his eyes, "You're an idiot… no, I just mean… it's only Cas and it will _always_ be Cas… He just has a strange effect on me… He's like a drug."

Jo smiles, "You love him," she observes.

Dean sighs, "Fuck yes, I do… Have you ever seen me with someone for longer than a week?"

"Technically, I haven't even seen you with Cas for more than a week," she says before punching Dean again, "Because you didn't tell me!"

Dean smiles, "It's been an interesting couple of weeks… Cas and I have only started figuring things out for ourselves… I haven't been very gracious about it."

Jo frowns, "What do you mean?"

"I've fucked up, Jo… More than once."

"Dean," Jo begins slowly, "What did you do?"

Dean swallows, "I acted like a prick… I treated Cas way worse than he deserves…"

"Well… that's the Dean Winchester way," she says, "as long as you've made amends."

Dean shakes his head, "That's not the worst part," he confesses and he can feel the bile rise up in his throat. It doesn't matter what Jo thinks, she can't think worse of him than he does of himself.

"What's the worst part?"

Dean sighs and begins to tell her everything. He tells her all about how things started with Cas.

"You fucking prick!" She yells and Dean just hangs his head, "What's wrong with you?!"

"I know," he whispers.

"What is this cruel-fucking-intentions?" She spits, "I can see Meg pulling that manipulative, fucked up bullshit but you Dean… you're better than that and Cas is sure as hell better than that," Jo yells before storming away. Dean sits by himself for a little while. Jo's right, Cas deserves _way_ better than Dean. He'd been suppressing this guilt, naively hoping that it would go away. Confessing to Jo was a mistake. Now, he can't dismiss his guilt anymore and he certainly can't pretend that he isn't a total asshole. He can't lose Cas but he can't live with this guilt. He needs to come clean. _Damn Jo for keeping me so honest, _Dean thinks. Dean will tell him but not tonight. If he's going to lose Cas, he needs at least one more night with him. He needs to memorise his every move, the feeling of his touch and the taste of his skin. Dean needs one more memory to hang on to. So much for having Cas for a lifetime.

Dean's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realise he's joined by company.

"Dean?" Cas' concerned voice calls. Dean looks up to see Cas' perfect face. He looks more beautiful to Dean than he ever has.

Dean smiles sadly, "Hey baby," he says softly.

Cas smiles and checks behind him before moving in to give Dean a sweet and chaste kiss. Dean reaches down to entwine their fingers.

"Let's go home," he says but Cas gives him a smile.

"Dean… we've only been here an hour or two… I don't want your friends to think I'm constantly keeping you to myself."

"Screw 'em," Dean says simply but Cas won't have it.

"No, Dean," he insists, "we can stay a little longer."

Dean smiles and lets Cas take him back inside.

Dean can't take his eyes off Cas. He doesn't even let him leave his side for a second. He sits on the pool table with Cas beside him. He's tried his best to ignore Jo's glare, he only has eyes for Cas at this moment.

Dean's momentary bliss is interrupted.

"So Dean, how'd you and Cas start being friends?" Meg says.

Dean gives her an evil look, "I gave him a ride home," he explains bitterly.

"Oh really?" She begins, "Is that all you gave him a ride of?" Her words create an immediate tension that's mixed with anger and confusion. Cas stiffens, his eyes darting to Meg and then to the floor, careful not to look too guilty. He takes a step back from Dean, suddenly fearful that his body language unknowingly gave them away. Dean just stares at her, his eyes trying to telekinetically set her on fire.

It's Ash who breaks it, "Meg," he says in a warning tone.

Meg keeps her eyes on Dean, smiling maliciously.

"C'mon Dean," she provokes, "why don't you share with the group… I'm sure there's more to the story."

"Meg," Ash warns again, "don't." Ruby, Charlie and Garth sit with confused expressions, trying to decipher the strange behaviour.

"What?" She asks in fake innocence, "I find confessions liberating… you should try it, Dean."

Dean swallows, "I have nothing to confess," he whispers and Meg smiles wickedly. Dean realises that that's the worst thing he could've possibly said.

"I know different," she whispers.

"Meg," Jo begins, "shut up."

Meg's dark stare turns on Jo and it's so menacing, she looks demonic, "I would suggest not doing anything else to piss me off right now, Jo, considering all the things I know that you might not want _coming out_ at this stage."

Jo remains quiet. She fears that Meg plans to spill her guts anyway and she would love to tell her to go fuck herself but it's not her secret to gamble with.

"Meg, I think you should leave," Ash interrupts.

"I'm not finished," she argues.

"I think you are," he responds quickly.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?" Ruby interrupts.

"Dean and Cas' _closest_ relationship," Meg explains carefully.

Dean clenches his teeth and he watches Ruby's expression change. Ruby bursts out laughing, her expression crazed with disbelief, "Oh my God," she curses and Dean's face flares red. Charlie and Garth both look as if they've realised it too but neither of them finds it as humorous as Ruby seems to.

Meg joins in with a sinister chuckle, "And that's not even the worst part, is it Dean?"

Now, she's officially gone too far, "Shut the fuck up, Meg," Dean retorts.

Meg shakes his head, "No, Dean… I want to talk about it," her dark eyes flash to Cas, "I'm sure Cas is very keen to hear what I have to say."

Cas' expression finally changes from impassive to curious.

"Meg," Dean warns in a harsher tone, jumping off the pool table to emphasise his point, "Shut up!"

Meg smiles, "Why don't you tell him all about it, Dean."

"Meg!" Dean growls.

"Dean," Cas interrupts softly before looking straight at Dean, "what is she talking about?"

"Yeah, Dean?" She prompts, "What _am_ I talking about?"

"Dean?" Cas prompts and Dean looks to Cas and he could weep.

"Oh, Cas," Meg begins and there's forced sympathy in her voice, "Did you really think that the most popular boy in school wanted to be with _you_." The pain in Cas' eyes is clear but she doesn't stop, "Oh, that's cute."

"Do _not_ speak to him like that!" Dean snaps.

"Why not?" She prompts, standing up. "I mean… it was all just a bet, Dean. You wanted to prove that you can have anyone you wanted and you did… I guess that means I owe you a hundred bucks."

Dean clenches his teeth, unable to look at Cas and face his disappointment, "I called it off," he reminds but Meg just smiles sweetly.

"Before or after you fucked him?" She asks and Dean can't speak, he can't even breathe. Dean refuses to look at Cas. He can't stand the hurt that's surely there, the hurt he caused.

"Dean?" Cas speaks in a small voice. He finally looks at him. He can see it, the heartbreak waiting to break through, waiting to flood through Cas. The only thing hiding the hurt is the look in Cas' eyes that's begging Dean to tell him it's not true.

"Cas," Dean whispers and there's so much sorrow and so much remorse in his voice that Cas doesn't need him to say another word.

Dean sees the wall crumble and the pain rise to the surface. Cas shakes his head, either trying to deny the truth or in disappointment of Dean.

"Cas," Dean repeats, edging towards him with his hand outstretched.

Cas sucks in a rigid breath and retreats so quickly and feverishly that Dean's hand might have been saturated in liquidised small pox.

"Don't fucking touch me," he whispers and Dean feels his heart break at the words. Their eyes meet and Dean wishes he could convey all his emotions in that one look but he can't. No amount of words can fix this, let alone looks.

"Cas, please," Dean begs and he feels wetness touch his eyes.

Cas shakes his head, "Don't," he says as he backs away. Cas turns on his heel and walks away. Anger boils within Dean, mainly at himself but he can take it out on Meg.

Dean turns to Meg, "If you were a guy…" He whispers angrily and Meg smirks.

Jo shoves Dean aside, "Allow me," she says simply. Dean catches a quick glimpse of Meg's horrified face before it's distorted by Jo's fist. The action is over as quick as it'd begun and Meg stumbles backwards but doesn't fall over. She covers her face as her nose begins to piss blood.

Dean looks at Jo by his side. He might thank her if he weren't numb on the inside.

Jo's eyes find his.

"Go," she mouths and Dean nods thankfully before leaving to chase down Cas.

Dean runs out of the garage. He makes it outside just in time to see Cas skid off in the Impala.

Dean grunts, "Fuck!" He yells.

He quickly takes out his phone and calls Cas, it rings three times before going to voicemail.

"Cas," Dean says, his voice dry and emotional, "Cas please… Just let me explain… please come back, Cas, we need to talk… I'm sorry…. I'm so, so, so sorry," Dean fights the tears, "I was stupid and selfish and I wasn't thinking… I was an idiot and an asshole and…. Cas… Please… I didn't go through with the bet… I didn't even tell Meg when we… I just… Cas… Please…" Dean rambles on, unable to stop himself.

Cas pulls the Impala into his driveway. He doesn't know what he was thinking, taking Dean's car, he just needed to get away. Now, Dean was going to have to come get the Impala and Cas would have to deal with him.

Cas drags himself inside to see Gabe sitting in front of the TV.

"Hey, Cassy… how was your night?" Gabriel asks.

_Shitty,_ he thinks, _emotionally crushing._

Cas feels his emotions spilling over. He blared music on the way over to keep his mind focused on anything but Dean, which had been hard. Now, it's crashing down on him.

"Um," he begins, "Dean's keys are on the kitchen table… when he comes to get his car I need you to give them to him," Cas explains. Anyone else might be fooled by his carefully evened voice but not Gabriel. He hears the hurt no matter what.

In an instant, Gabriel's standing, "Cassy?" He asks, "What happened?"

"Dean and I won't be seeing each other anymore," Cas explains and now he can barely control the emotion in his voice.

"What did he do?" Gabe says through his teeth.

Cas shakes his head, "I can't," he begins, "I can't right now…" Cas escapes to his room and Gabe lets him go, knowing when his brother needs space.

When Cas finally finds the privacy of his bedroom he loses control. He sinks to his knees as the pain feels like it's going to rip a hole in his chest. Only when alone would Cas ever let himself do this. He puts his forehead to the ground and lets an embarrassing sob escape him. How pathetic that he allows himself to cry over Dean Winchester.

Dean's called Cas more times than he can count but it always goes straight to voicemail. Little does he know that Cas listened to one of the messages he left before removing the sim card and battery and telling Gabe to hide the phone from him.

Dean had to wait until now to go to see Cas. He didn't have his car, he didn't have cash to take a taxi and he didn't want to wake Bobby just to drive him to pick up his car. Dean sat twitching his leg all night until Bobby woke up, there's no way he could sleep. He even considered walking but decided it would probably take just as long. Besides, he could use the time to think about how to talk to Cas and how to explain himself.

Now, Bobby's driving him to Cas' and he still doesn't know what he's going to say. Every time he thinks about it, he begins to ramble.

"So what kind of idjit takes his friend's car?" Bobby asks.

Dean chews his lip, trying to hide his anxiety, "I told him he could," Dean explains.

"_You_ let someone take the Impala?" Bobby asks.

"Yes," Dean says with an edge to his voice and Bobby decides whatever's eating him should be left alone for now.

Bobby finally pulls up at Cas' and Dean sees his baby in the driveway but it's not the baby he wants to see. Dean makes sure Bobby has disappeared around the corner before heading to the front door. It's early for a Saturday morning but he doesn't care.

He knocks on the door.

Dean waits patiently as the door creeks open. He hopes to catch a glimpse of those blue orbs but he's abruptly met with a fist to his face. The force is so strong that Dean's thrown off his feet. His hand flies to his eye as it radiates with pain. He looks at the open door to see Gabriel standing over the threshold. Who'd have thought a little guy like Gabriel could pack such a punch. Before Dean can summon his wits to stand up, Gabriel launches at him, his foot striking Dean's stomach. Dean groans.

Gabe wraps his hands around Dean's shirt and hoists him onto his feet. Dean can't fight back. He can't strike out at someone who's sticking up for the man he loves.

"I told you not to hurt him and I meant it!" Gabe cries, throwing Dean. Dean stumbles back but stays on his feet. "He's been through enough, Dean! He doesn't need some prick toying with his feelings!"

"I know!" Dean tries to amend. "I know, I'm sorry! I just… I need to make this right."

"You want to make this right?" Gabe asks, "Then leave him alone!"

"I can't… Just let me see him," Dean begs.

"Fuck that," Gabe snaps, "I'm not letting you near him."

"I need him!" Dean cries.

"He doesn't need you! Don't put him through this shit because _you_ are too selfish to walk away," Gabe yells before disappearing into the house quickly. He returns with Dean's keys in his hand. He throws them towards him. "Now get the fuck out of here."

Gabe storms away and slams the door. Dean feels like he's going to be sick. Is Gabriel right? Is Cas better off being left alone? Is Dean only trying to make amends because he's too selfish to live without him?

_Fuck that, _he thinks, _if Cas feels even half the love that Dean feels, he wants him back too. _

Dean can't afford to piss Gabe off any more than he already has. He gets in his car and drives but he doesn't drive far.

Cas walks down the stairs just as Gabe closes the door behind him.

"Who was at the door?" Cas asks but he knows the answer.

"No one," he responds. Cas hears an engine start.

"It sounds like no one is driving off in their 67' Chevy Impala."

Gabe shrugs and goes back to sitting in front of the TV.

"What'd he say?" Cas hates himself for asking.

"Will it make you feel better to know?" Gabe asks bitterly.

Cas shakes his head, even though Gabe isn't looking at him. He lingers at the bottom of the steps, not knowing where to go.

"I guess not," he finally says quietly. How can Dean hurt him so much and yet still make him act crazy for him?

"Don't worry about it, Cassy," Gabe says, "Go back to bed."

Cas sighs. He'd hardly left his room since yesterday; he'd grown tired of it. He wishes he could get out of the house and forget but he can't bring himself to do that either.

"Did you say anything to him?" Cas continues, unable to talk himself out of it.

Gabe remains quiet for a moment and Cas can sense what he's not saying, "No," Gabriel lies.

"Gabe," Cas begins, "what did you do?"

"Nothing that wasn't called for," he quips.

"Gabe," Cas repeats tiredly.

"What?" He snaps, "It was."

"That doesn't mean it's up to you to dish it out," Cas argues, "what the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't think," he replies.

"What did you do?" Cas pleads.

"You don't need to worry about it, Cas… we just had words," Gabriel says.

"You hit him, didn't you?" Cas asks and Gabe's silence is enough, "God damn it, Gabe! Do you think it really solves anything? Do you think hurting Dean will make me feel better?"

"It certainly makes _me_ feel better," he mumbles.

"Why?!" Cas yells, "Why did you have to hurt him!?"

"Why do you care?!" Gabe yells, finally standing up from the couch to stare at his brother. The words stump Cas.

"I… I don't," he replies quietly, looking at his feet. "I just… wonder why."

"Because he hurt you," he replies quietly, "and I can't let him do that to you."

"It's not your responsibility to protect me, Gabe," Cas

"Yes it is!" Gabe yells, "Especially since I've already failed you… I'm not gonna let that happen again!"

"Fail me?" He asks. "When have you ever failed me?"

Gabe sighs sadly, "I failed you so many times, Cas… Every time I know they'd beaten you and I didn't get you as far away from them as I could… every time you hurt yourself and I didn't get you help! I have so many regrets about letting you get hurt and never doing anything about it."

"Never doing anything about it?" Cas asks, outraged, "You did everything for me, Gabe! How can you think like that?"

"I could've done more," he says softly.

"You did whatever you could… which was more than enough," Cas assures, "and being here for me to hand Dean's keys back so I don't have to see him is more than enough… believe me."

Gabe finally breaks a smile, "C'mon Cas, isn't there a little part of you that wanted to smack his head in?" _And there's Gabe_, Cas thinks, smiling to himself, _back to jokes when things get emotional… so much like Dean…. Dean._

"I'm more of a suffer-in-silence type," Cas informs him lightly, "I don't really talk with my fists."

_No_, _I'm bad with violence,_ Cas thinks, _I good at talking with my dick._

"You have so much to learn, little brother," Gabe grins and then rolls his eyes at Cas' serious look, "I'll be here for what you ask of me… nothing more, nothing less."

Cas manages a smile as Gabe turns around and sits back down on the couch. Now Cas has to return to his own thoughts, now that his distraction is gone.

Cas walks solemnly to his room. He walks in and jumps at the sight of someone in his room.

"Cas," Dean whispers.

"Dean?" Cas whispers back, quickly closing the door behind him so that Gabe doesn't hear. "What are you doing in here?"

"I needed to talk to you," he says.

"So you snuck in through the window?" He whispers hysterically. Cas finally takes in his appearance. The flesh under his eye is already starting to bruise and the skin looks split and there's some dry blood. "Jesus, what the fuck did he do to you?" Cas whispers, almost to himself.

"Nothing I didn't deserve," Dean responds and it makes Cas ache before he snaps out of it, regretting showing any remorse or emotion.

"Get the hell out," Cas says quickly.

"Cas, please," Dean begs, "I need to talk to you…"

"If I wanted to talk I would've answered one of your million phone calls, Dean," Cas responds.

"Just let me explain," Dean pleads, feeling himself getting more worked up.

"You had your chance to explain," Cas says darkly, "you had every chance in the world to tell me and I had to hear it from Meg."

"Cas, if I could change that…" Dean begins but Cas can't stand to hear it.

"Dean, I need you to leave," Cas says quickly.

"I can't, Cas… I have to make this right,"

"There's nothing you could do to make it right, Dean!" Cas snaps, feeling his blood boil and the volume of his voice rise, "You've really screwed up! You screwed up before we even started!"

"Cas… I'm so sorry… you have no idea…"

"No, Dean," Cas says, "You have no idea… you really have no idea what you've done… Even if I could find it in me to forgive you, it still re-writes _everything_. It changes _everything_," Cas feels his emotions starting to betray him as he breaks down, "from the moment you picked me up that day, you had ulterior motives… How will I ever know what was real and what you were faking… you haven't just hurt me, Dean… you've tainted _anything_ we ever had together."

"Cas, I swear, from the moment I was with you, the whole bet thing went out the window… I wanted to be with you," Dean says but Cas puts his hand up to silence him.

"I don't really care what you have to say, Dean," Cas dismisses.

"No," Dean refuses, "You need to know that I'm sorry… but I don't regret making the bet," Cas looks like he's repulsed, "only because I never would've met you… and yeah, I know that I'm an asshole… I know how much of a prick that makes me…"

"No, Dean," Cas says seriously, "you don't."

Dean looks lost, "Cas, I'm sorry."

Cas scoffs, "You're sorry?!" He asks, outraged, "… after all the shit you put me through and all the crap I put up with, just to find out that the reality was so much worse! And you're sorry?!" Cas voice finally breaks as he begins to scream, he's so mad, "How could you do this to me?!"

"Cas… I swear… I never meant to hurt you," Dean's voice is laced with pain.

"Bullshit!" Cas yells and he no longer has control over his voice. "You screwed with me for an easy hundred! You either intended to hurt me or didn't care if you did! I mean are you honestly so _stupid_ that you thought this would end well?"

Dean flinches at the harsh words but he forgets it. Cas is more than justified to say what he wants. The silence hangs in the air for a moment. Cas and Dean stare at each other, each one daring the other to speak. Cas flinches when they're interrupted by a loud knocking. He thanks himself for having the right frame of mind to lock the door.

"Cas?!" Gabe yells, "That little shit's in there, isn't he?!"

"I can handle it, Gabe!" Cas calls back.

"I told that little fuck to get a move on," he yells again, "how dare he sneak back into this house?!"

"I've got it, Gabe!" Cas yells seriously.

Cas hears a groan on the other side of the door, "Call if you need me," he says begrudgingly.

Cas turns back to Dean, who's staring at his feet. Cas puts his hands deep into his pocket.

"I'm done talking," Cas tells him and Dean's sad, green eyes touch his.

Dean shakes his head, "You have to know that everything we had was real, Cas," he begins, "I meant and felt _everything_."

"Dean, you've been lying to me through your teeth from the get-go… why do you think I'll believe anything you have to say?" Cas asks, his eyes dark and guarded.

"Because I know you know, Cas," Dean pleads with him with his eyes, "I know that you know what was real."

Cas' eyes turn so menacing that Dean is actually fearful of what he might do, "You don't know shit, Dean," Cas says darkly.

Dean sighs painfully.

"I love you, Cas," Dean says quietly.

Cas looks appalled, "What is that? Some kind of hail Mary pass?"

"I mean it," Dean says.

Cas shakes his head fiercely, "That's not fair for you to say that to me," Cas spits out bitterly. "You have no right."

Dean opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. Cas is right, Dean's not being fair.

Cas, still feeling too comfortable with Dean, even in this moment, thoughtlessly pushes up his sleeves and crosses his arms.

The white bandage sticks out like a spotlight in the darkness.

"Oh God," Dean whispers. In a second, Dean feels his world come crashing down around him.

Cas keeps his eyes on the floor, unaware of Dean's mental breakdown.

"Wh…" Dean stutters, "wh-what is that, Cas?" Dean asks, his face vacant of blood.

Cas follows his eyes to the bandage around his wrist. His stomach drops. He quickly pulls his sleeve down over his shame. "Fuck," he whispers.

"C-Cas," Dean stutters.

Cas closes his eyes, ashamed. It's true, he'd given in. He was in pain and he couldn't stand it. He dealt with it the only way he knows how: by taking control of his pain. As soon as the blade left his wrist, he'd regretted it. He regretted sinking to that level and going down that dark road again. He'd broken promises to himself and to Gabe. It was stupid but his pain was unbearable and he was weak, he's always weak.

"I, uh…" Cas begins, "It's nothing."

Cas looks up at Dean and sees the empty, lost look in his eyes.

"Di-did I do that?" Dean asks, his voice shaking and his eyes welling. _Is Dean… No, he couldn't be, _Cas thinks, _He couldn't be crying._ Cas says nothing, shock making him paralysed.

Cas' silence is worse. Dean knows the answer, of course it was him, who else could hurt Cas so bad.

Dean feels like his stomach and heart are combusting.

Cas watches in shock as Dean backs himself against the wall and reaches his hands up to clutch his hair.

"Oh, God," Dean cries, his voice thick with sobs. He slides down the wall and crumbles in a heap on the floor. Cas just stares, unable to comprehend what he's seeing. Dean covers his face but Cas hears the loud, violent sobs.

It's the most unsettling sight he's ever seen, Dean so vulnerable, so hurt.

"Oh, God," Dean repeats, "Cas," he says his name like it physically hurts him.

Cas feels his insides warp like he can't believe. His entire body is screaming at him to get on his knees and comfort Dean, pull his head into his lap and lull him to sleep but he can't.

"Fuck," Dean continues to talk to himself. He finally looks up, his tear stained eyes meeting Cas' blue orbs. His expression is unreadable. "I can't believe I did that to you," Dean sobs, his breathing so heavy he's practically hyperventilating, "I promised you… I never wanted you to hurt again… and I did this to you!" Dean's head falls in his hands.

Cas can't speak. He can't deny it because he doesn't want to comfort Dean but he doesn't want him to feel guilty, that wasn't Cas' intention. He didn't hurt himself to get back at Dean, he needed to survive the night.

"I didn't do it to spite you Dean," Cas says softly. "I did it-,"

"Because you were in pain," Dean finishes.

Cas curses himself, "It's not your fault."

"Bullshit," Dean spits, "I promised I wouldn't let anything hurt you."

Cas' eyes well sympathetically and he hates Dean for it, "Yeah and you _fucked_ up!" Cas cries, getting angry that Dean is making this about him.

"Cas…" Dean begins.

"No, Dean… just because you show some remorse doesn't make this go away!" Cas yells, tears now streaming down his face.

Dean looks up into Cas' eyes and his heart breaks, "I know," Dean whispers, "but I'll do anything, Cas."

Cas shakes his head, "There's nothing you can do, Dean… it's over," he says.

Dean's eyes look sadder than ever, "No, Cas, please… don't," he begs and Cas stops still. _He's begging? _Cas wonders, _did he think I wouldn't end this?_

"Don't what?" Cas prompts, "I already have, Dean… it ended before it began."

"No," Dean denies, standing and walking over to Cas, reaching out in an attempt to grab the boy's hands. Cas backs away. Dean can't stand the distance between them. He'll find their intimacy again even if he has to take it. Dean falls to his knees and wraps both his arms around Cas' waist. He feels him struggle but he can't let him go. Dean clings to him, his tears staining Cas' shirt.

"No," Dean denies again, "I can't be without you… I can't lose you."

Cas tries to push Dean away as his own tears mark his face. It's a hopeless cause, Dean's locked onto him so tight, he can hardly balance on his two feet.

"You should've thought of that before, Dean," Cas says through clenched teeth, trying to release himself.

"Please, Cas," Dean begs, "I'll do anything, just tell me what to do!"

Cas sniffles, "There is nothing, Dean!" He cries, "I need you to leave."

"No, please don't send me away," Dean pleads, his face saturated in tears, "I need to make this better… I need you!"

"Get off, Dean," Cas insists but Dean clings to him tighter. "I said get off!" Cas finally summons the strength to push him away. The broken look on Dean's face is painful. He looks ashamed, hurt and destroyed. Cas wishes he could just forget the pain and make the two of them okay again. He'll never have Dean back.

Not his Dean, anyway. _His_ Dean doesn't exist. He was fake.

Dean tries to gracefully stand up, "I'm sorry," he whispers before exiting out the window. Cas leans against the door, slides to the floor and weeps to himself.


	9. Chapter 9

"So what'd you do?" Sam questions and he can tell by the clench in Dean's jaw that he needn't explain what he's talking about.

"What do you mean?" Dean asks with a voice that's too even. Sam rolls his eyes, _like you don't know_, he thinks. Dean keeps his eyes on the road in front of him.

"Well," Sam begins, purposely looking around the Impala, "Cas is nowhere to be seen so… what'd you do?"

Dean frowns, "What?! Do I have to spend every minute of the day with him?" He snaps, aware that he's being irrationally defensive but unable to control himself.

"You don't _have _to but _you _do," Sam responds.

"Well now I'm not, okay?" Dean barks.

"Yeah… which is why I want to know what you did," Sam tries to tread carefully.

"Why do you assume _I_ did something, am I just that awful of a person?" Dean yells.

"No but you're just that thoughtless to screw up a good thing," Sam explains.

"What the hell would you know?" Dean snarls.

Sam just rolls his eyes, "I know that you've never been as happy as when you were dating Cas."

"You don't think I know tha-," Dean stops himself and spares a glance in Sam's direction, who's wearing a knowing expression. "How'd you know?" Dean almost whispers.

Sam almost smiles, "C'mon Dean… your face lights up just by looking at him."

Dean shifts uncomfortably, "I, uhh… I did not realise I do that."

"I did," Sam says.

"And you… you're… umm," Dean stutters.

"What?"

"Okay with… that," Dean finally spits out. Not that it matters now, with Cas gone Dean doesn't even know his own sexual orientation. He can't think of being with a girl or a guy because he only sees Cas, someone he'll never have.

Sam frowns, "What? Yes… Dean I would love you if you worshipped a leprechaun God and went to live on bubble-gum foo-foo island."

Dean almost cracks a smile, "Bubble-gum foo-foo island?" He asks.

Sam shrugs, "Or whatever you gays are into," he quips, earning him a well-deserved punch in the arm but Dean's laughing and Sam laughs back.

"Screw you, Sammy," Dean chuckles. He didn't think he could still laugh, trust Sammy to bring him light in his darkest hour.

"So… you've been hiding in your room all weekend… which I wouldn't think is weird if you weren't alone," Sam continues, "So… you're either sad or trying to hide that shiner from Bobby…"

Dean rolls his eyes, the bruise is almost gone now but it's still sensitive. It doesn't matter, Cas' wounds are worse… internal and otherwise.

"So… what'd you do?" Sam repeats.

"Again, why do you assume_ I_ did something?"

Sam purposely shrugs, "Call it a hunch," he says.

Dean chews his lips, "I fucked up," he admits, "and I can't do anything to fix it."

"Dean, Cas _loves_ you," Sam reminds him, "he _will_ forgive you."

Dean almost wants to cry. _If only that were true_, he thinks.

"No, Sammy," Dean implores, "you don't get it… there's no chance… I mean I _really_ fucked up."

Sam goes quiet for a moment before speaking, "Do you want to tell me?" Dean just shakes his head, his eyes already welling at the thought of Cas. "Well, then… whatever it is… you obviously regret it."

"You have no idea… I hurt Cas trying to keep our relationship hidden but now I would gladly have the entire school know every little detail of our relationship if it meant I could have him." Sam says nothing, just listens, "little meaning that has now."

"Just make it right," Sam says, like it's so simple.

Dean slams his hand against the steering wheel in frustration, "I can't Sam, it's not that simple."

"Then do _everything_ you can to get him back," Sam explains, "you can wallow in self-pity or do everything you can think of to make this right."

_Wow_, Dean thinks, _when Sammy explains it, it really does seem simple._

Jo sees Dean pull up. She hadn't expected him to come to school today but, then again, she should've realised he'd be ensuring Sam's safe arrival. Jo runs over almost immediately. She'd spent the whole weekend trying to get in contact with Dean since he ran off Friday night. She'd felt so guilty about the serve she'd given him. What perfect, insensitive timing _that_ was! If only she'd known.

"Dean," Jo calls as he gets out of the Impala and heads to the school.

"Hey," he says and Jo can see how destroyed he is. She regrets calling him all weekend, not thinking that Dean probably got his hopes up every time the phone rang, thinking it was Cas.

"Dean," she repeats, "about what I said…"

Dean just shakes his head, "I deserved it Jo… I should've known better… and I probably should've spoken to you earlier… then I would've told him myself."

"Dean…" Jo says softly, in her nurturing 'mother' voice, "I'm sorry about Cas… are you okay?"

Dean smiles but he can't even muster the energy to make it somewhat convincing, "I'll live." He says simply. _I'll live_, he thinks, _maybe not happily but I'll live._

Jo gives him such a sympathetic look it makes Dean feel worse, "I'm here," she says and Dean lets her walk him to the school's front door. "Did you…" she begins cautiously, "did you talk to Cas?"

Dean nods and Jo knows it didn't go well.

"He can't forgive me," he explains solemnly, "he says there's nothing I can do to make it better because he'll never know what was real and what was fake." Dean paraphrases. It hurts him to confess but it also feels good to get off his chest.

"Dean… I'm-," Jo begins but Dean cuts her off.

"I know," is all he has to say.

Dean enters the hall. He'd expected to have to run into Cas eventually and, to be honest, he just wants to catch a glimpse of him. He hadn't expected to see him first thing. Dean's eyes automatically fall on Cas' locker until he realises that it's accompanied by a dark haired beauty. Cas turns his head and Dean's world tumbles around him as their eyes meet. Dean sees his own misery in those beautiful, blue eyes. Cas looks away quicker than Dean can. How's he supposed to win him back when Cas can't even stand to look at him?

"Fuck," he whispers, "I can't be here."

Jo doesn't even have the chance to respond before Dean disappears back out the doors. Jo can't stand to see Dean like this. So beautifully destroyed. She can tell he's thinking of everything, far from letting go of Cas. Dean fucked up, true, but Jo knows remorse when she sees it. Dean said Cas is hurt because he can't tell what was real and what was fake. If anyone can give Cas the insight into what really happened, it's Meg. She knows when it was made, how much information Dean shared and when Dean called it off. According to Dean, even from the start, he never said a thing to her. It's not going to fix Dean and Cas but it may give Cas some much needed piece of mind. And Dean wants _that_ more than anything and Jo can't let him do it alone because, let's face it, Dean's useless.

Jo decides it's time for a manhunt. Or bitch-hunt, rather. She finally catches up with Meg at her locker. When Jo sees her, she gets so angry that she forgets that she was coming to ask her for a favour. Just as well, being nice would never work anyway. Jo smiles at the sight of the bright, white bandage taped over Meg's purple, broken nose.

"I don't know what it is, Meg," Jo begins, leaning against the locker as she watches Meg's entire body freeze, "but somehow, you've never looked as good as you do today."

Meg turns around to meet her cold, hard gaze with Jo's smug smile.

"Get away from me or I'll get a restraining order," Meg responds with a hard voice.

Jo fakes a pout, "Aw, I thought we were friends," she says.

Meg almost laughs, "Oh, honey… we've never been friends," she says in that horribly sweet voice.

"Just as well… I could never be friends with a _snake_," Jo retorts and Meg's smile disappears.

"Call me whatever you want, Jo…" Meg begins casually but Jo can see it bothers her, "I couldn't care less about your opinion."

"Is there anything you _do_ care about?" Jo asks. "Besides yourself?"

Meg smiles tightly, "I care about myself because no one else is worth caring about."

Jo returns the sickening grin, "No, honey… You only care about yourself because no one else will."

Meg's glare turns murderous, "Go away, Jo," she snaps, attempting to keep her voice even, "you're boring."

"And you're a bitch," she retorts.

Meg sighs deeply, she's heard that so many times she's lost count, "Are you still mad about Friday? Is Dean still crying about everyone finding out he's gay?" Meg whispers.

"_Don't,"_ Jo warns.

Meg smiles but doesn't dare say it again. Even _she_ knows that telling anyone else would be like signing her own death sentence. She would never admit to being scared of Jo, though.

"Don't worry," Meg smooths, "I'm guessing they're not a couple anymore so there'd be no point in spilling the beans… unless... Cas is even more pathetic than I thought and took Dean back."

"This isn't a fucking joke," Jo spits and the smile disappears from Meg's face, "You destroyed Dean's life."

"Why?! Because I told Cas the truth?" Meg asks, suddenly fuming, "No one else would have… I did him a favour… He deserved the truth."

"Don't, for one second, act like you give a shit about Cas," Jo begins, "you destroyed a couple for all the wrong reasons!"

"Cry me a river," Meg utters grimly.

Jo looks at Meg like she's truly disgusted, "Do you even care?" Jo asks, "What do you even get out of this? Surely you don't get off on ruining Dean's life."

Meg looks stumped for a moment before purposely rolling her eyes, "So he and his _boyfriend_ broke up… I'd hardly call that ruining his life." Meg turns away to file her books into her locker, "Cancer… bankruptcy… getting fat, _that's_ life ruining," she lists. Jo rolls her eyes at the conceited view on life, for the most part. Meg turns around to give Jo a self-satisfied smile. "Dean just lost a hot ride… If I do say so myself."

Jo chews her lip and crosses her arms, "I know you think trying to make it sound insignificant will ease your guilt but it won't."

Meg laughs, "That's cute."

Jo curses herself. Stupid to think she could appeal to Meg that way. No, Jo needs to make her mad. Meg only responds to people she's intimidated by. Right now, Jo's not a threat, Meg doesn't need her approval.

"I like the nose job," Jo states smugly.

"Thanks, you should get one," Meg responds before winking, "fix that train wreck of a thing you've got." Meg gestures to Jo's face.

Jo smiles, "You're going the right way for a second one," she quips.

"You touch me again, Harvelle," Meg warns, "and I'll destroy you."

Jo rolls her eyes, "What can _you_ do to me, Meg?" Jo tempts, "You lost your leverage when you exposed Dean."

Meg scoffs, "There's plenty more where that came from," she grins.

"You're lying, Meg… everyone can see through your bullshit… stop trying, it's pathetic."

"Go to hell," Meg snips glumly and Jo can sense that she's getting to her. Before Meg can storm off, Jo has her by the bicep.

"If you have any shred of humanity in you, you'll go to Cas and fix this," Jo pleads.

Meg makes a face like Jo's crazy and rips her arm away, "Like it would help," she dismisses and makes to walk away but Jo stops her again.

"It might," she says. Meg gives her a long, meaningful look before walking away.

Meg can't stand the looks so she heads to the library, where there are less menacing eyes. It's not just Ash and Jo giving her a hard time, everyone's been staring at her still-healing nose. Damn Jo and her fierce right hook. Meg's done some mean things in her lifetime but this is the cherry on top. She doesn't know why she does it. Jo's right, she _is_ guilty but being mean is power and it's hard to say no to power. But once it's gone, Meg's left feeling empty and sad. Meg has two things she's good at: being a bitch and sex. The two are surprisingly similar. Before it happens and while it's happening, Meg's in power but when it's over, she has nothing. Despite how horrible the nothing is, she can never say no to it. That's how you end up being a horrible person, like Meg.

Meg hopes to spend the afternoon wallowing in her own misery in peace but that changes when a familiar tan trench coat enters the library.

"For fuck's sake," Meg whispers, turning away so that she doesn't have to look at him. "What's with that goddamn trench coat?"

Meg spares another guilty glance in his direction but he hasn't noticed her yet. He heads to a single desk and slumps down in a chair. Meg notices that he looks pale, washed out, almost… sick. He has stubble on his chin that's more overgrown than normal, he's wearing a tie that's askew and has big, purple bags under his eyes. He looks completely broken. Maybe she _did_ ruin lives. How can some high school romance be _that_ important to two people? Meg wouldn't know anything about love like that. Come to think of it, Meg wouldn't know anything about love.

Meg sighs, "Fuck Jo," she whispers before standing up to head over to the single desk occupied by the heartbroken man. The man she ruined.

Cas' eyes flash up to her as she approaches and Meg sees the look in his eyes change. He goes from completely blank to irritated in a micro second. Meg almost considers turning around and walking away but she doesn't, she's come this far.

"Come to torment me further?" Cas snipes and Meg feels wounded.

"No," Meg responds. She can't help but fidget. She's so good at being mean, being nice makes her nervous.

"Then what?" Cas continues rudely as he stares out the window. He doesn't notice Meg's unusual behaviour, "Just come to revel in the glory of your triumph?"

His words hurt but Meg knows she deserves it. Wow, this kid can lay the guilt on thick. Meg wonders if he does it purposely or if it's a natural thing. She also wonders if he's the kind of person to want to live in ignorance rather than feel the pain of the truth.

"Would you rather I have said nothing?" She asks, her voice vacant of her usual venom.

Cas breaks a smile but there's no humour there. It's empty.

"I don't think you understand, Megan," Cas says her name like it tastes like poison in his mouth. "My dismay is not in regards to _what_ but _how_."

Meg frowns, confused, "What?" She asks. She's been around Castiel for two minutes and already hates it, for the same reason she tries not to spend too much time around Charlie. Next to Ruby, Garth, Ash, Jo and Dean, Meg's the smart one and knowledge is power. Next to people like Charlie and Cas, Meg's shown for what she really is: mediocre.

It doesn't make her feel any better when Castiel rolls his eyes at her ignorance.

"I needed to know but _you_ didn't need to tell me," he quips, "especially not-," Cas begins but he's cut off.

"Do you really think Dean would've told you?" She highlights.

Cas exhales but continues to stare away from Meg, "Of course not," he admits sadly, although it doesn't show. Even hearing his name hurts. "But revealing Dean and myself… and exposing _my_ pain for everyone to see… well, that was just mighty sadistic of you."

There's something about Cas' completely emotionless tone, it makes the power of his words so much stronger.

Even in his darkest hours, Cas has never been so openly rude. It's strange how being with Dean brought out a brazen side to him that he never knew existed. Now that Dean's gone, it's like he opened a floodgate in Cas that he can't shut.

"Yeah… I know," Meg admits like she can't help it. Usually, this is the part where she gets defensive and tries to justify her actions to make herself feel better but not this time. There's something unexplainable about Cas. Meg can understand why Dean became so different.

"What is it that you want, Meg?" Cas asks, still not looking at her.

Meg exhales deeply, "To make things right," she admits.

Cas actually chuckles but it's empty of humour again, he finally looks Meg straight in the eyes, "As much as I don't like you and think you're an awful person…" Cas ignores her flinch, "that's not up to you… this has nothing to do with you, Megan," Cas says and Meg can't look away from his compelling, blue eyes. "Just because you forced yourself in the middle, doesn't mean you're involved in my business."

"I know," Meg agrees, "but that doesn't mean I can't help."

Silence hangs in the air for a long moment, "Leave me alone," Cas finally says.

Meg considers leaving. _At least I tried_, she thinks but she doesn't walk away. _No_, she thinks, _that's a cope out._

"No," Meg says simply and Cas doesn't react. "Just give me a chance, I may be able to help."

"Okay…" Cas begins, finally showing his irritation, "one: why do you _want_ to help? In our limited time together, I've gathered that you're not really the helping type… And two: what can you _possibly _do to help? There's nothing you can do to make any of this better… you're wasting your breath."

"I can't make up for what Dean did but I can offer peace of mind." Cas just looks at her and she feels obligated to continue, "And I…" Meg searches for the right words… _feel guilty?_ Yes, but that's happened before and she's never done this. "I fucked up… I've never hurt someone so bad before."

"My heart goes out to you," Cas mutters sarcastically. It's just enough to send Meg over the edge.

"You know what… forget it," Meg mutters and makes to walk away but she stops again and turns back around, this time getting closer to Cas, "No… fuck that," she mutters, "if there's _ever_ a way to truly know how Dean was playing this bet, it's through me… You want closure or comfort, you got it… all you have to do is ask."

Cas considers her words. What if this is a trick and she's just setting him up for more hurt? After all, it's not like he's been recently proven that he has reason to trust. Even if she is just going to tell him what he wants, what if it makes it worse?

He sighs as he realises that it doesn't matter how he deliberates, his curiosity will get the better of him.

"There must be a catch," Cas says simply, "what do you want?"

"To clear my conscious."

Cas rubs his unshaven chin, deliberating, "Tell me everything," he says.

Meg pulls over a chair to sit across from Cas. He stares at her, waiting expectantly. Meg notices that he's clearly more hopeful than he probably wishes to look. He's staring, waiting for her to talk, Meg realises that she probably should.

"So… it was my idea in the first place," Meg begins, "I challenged him because I was sick of his arrogance… he thinks he's so irresistible."

Cas almost smiles, "Yeah… it's probably because he is," he says.

Meg almost laughs, "Yeah, well… I thought that either two things would happen: he'd get you and I could make fun of him for acting gay-,"

Cas flinches, "What? Are you homophobic?"

Meg shakes her head, "Not at all… but Dean Winchester with a guy has certain comical value," Cas looks at Meg like he doesn't appreciate the humour, Meg ignores it, "_or_ he would get rejected and that would be even more satisfying."

"But?" Cas prompts eagerly. Meg notices that Cas is basically hanging off her every word. He's waiting for the truth. Now it's time for Meg to tell him that Dean never a said a word to her. He'd mentioned when he started laying groundwork but otherwise, he'd been silent and it wasn't long after that he'd broken off the bet. It's the truth and the truth could send Cas back to Dean.

But only Meg can make that happen, only Meg has the information to set Cas free. The familiar feeling calls to Meg, she has the power to destroy Cas worse than she ever has. Meg's heart begins to race. She has a choice and it comes down to this moment: change and do the right thing or fall into old patterns.

"But nothing," Meg shrugs, "I got the advantage of the former and ruined Dean."

Cas frowns, "And the bet?" He prompts.

Meg sighs, feeling the familiar urge rise up. She wonders if this is how serial killers feel, you know… other psychopaths. Who is she kidding? People never change, "Dean told me every little detail and then I paid him a hundred when he banged you." Meg almost sees Cas' heart break again but she can't control her words. It's like she's compelled to not only hurt him, but completely destroy. "And then he gave me the hundred back to keep my mouth shut," Meg pauses to look pensive, "which I should probably give back now, I guess." Meg realises that Cas' lids have fallen over his eyes as he stares blankly at the desk in front of him.

"Thank you," Cas says emotionlessly.

Meg smiles and taps him on the back of the hand in an attempt to comfort him but Cas pulls away like her touch burns, "At least you know he cared enough to try and cover his tracks, honey." Meg stands and walks away.

_Good one_, Meg's conscious thinks, _you not only have to hurt him but now you're pouring salt over his wounds?_

Meg even has the malice to smile, "Who am I kidding?" She whispers, "I live for this stuff."

Cas wonders if he can physically take any more pain. He'd ditched class because he couldn't stand to be in the same room as Dean and now he would gladly take that if he could take back what he'd just heard. He should've known better than to trust that Meg was trying to do a good thing.

"I thought I'd find you here," Jo interrupts Dean's train of thought.

Dean stares out at the open field, "I want to be left alone, Jo," he says.

"Too bad," she dismisses him, "get off your arse and do something."

"It's not that easy," he says.

"Do I need to get Sam up here to kick start you?" She asks.

Dean bites his lip. Both he and Jo know that Sam's his weakness. That kid's _meant_ to be a lawyer, he knows exactly what to say to Dean. Hell, this morning he had him convinced that he should be trying to win back Cas, but that was before he saw his face.

"Get lost," Dean grumbles.

"No," Jo says fiercely as she crosses her arms over her chest, "Just go and talk to him."

"He doesn't want to talk to me," Dean snaps.

"I don't care," Jo practically yells, "I'm not letting you do nothing, Dean!"

"Why are you so committed to seeing me suffer?" Dean yells back, "Cas can't even look at me! I can't take his rejection again, Jo."

"Dean," Jo says softly, deciding to change her tactics, "I know you're hurting… but if you don't _try_… you'll hurt Cas."

Dean frowns, "What?"

"What is Cas gonna think when you don't even _try_ to get him back?" She points out, "You have to at least try… or you'll hate yourself forever."

Dean chews his lip, "I hate you sometimes," he grumbles before standing up and heading back to school.

Cas looks up and stops. Dean's waiting for him by his locker. He considers turning around and walking away but he knows he has to face Dean sooner or later. He bravely makes it to his locker.

"Dean," he acknowledges curtly.

"Cas," Dean begins and there's an ache in his tone, "I… I…"

"What, Dean?" Cas prompts.

"I want to talk,"

"I'm all ears," Cas says begrudgingly.

"I want you back," he blurts out.

Cas sighs, "I'll see you later, Dean," he says quickly before walking away.

"Wait," Dean calls, reaching out to pull Cas back, "I know I don't deserve it…"

"Damn right," Cas snaps and he hates the hurt expression on Dean's face, "I just want to be left alone, Dean."

"I can't do that," Dean explains and, as he says it, he knows it's true, "As long as there's a miniscule chance that we can work this out… I'm gonna keep trying."

Cas bites his lips, "You don't understand, Dean," he begins, "there's _no_ chance."

Dean swallows, "I don't believe that," he admits. "I can't let this go."

Cas shuts his eyes, almost in annoyance, "You're wasting your time."

Cas storms off and Dean is left to realise that they'd just had a very public, heated argument. Everyone in the hall is currently looking at Dean but he can't summon the ability to care.

The next few days are quite possibly the worst of Dean's life. He makes as many attempts as he can think of, like Sam insisted but he realises that constant rejection really takes its toll. He started simple, leaving Cas letters in his locker, telling him how much he loves him and wants him back and how he'll do anything but it doesn't work. Dean isn't good with words, especially love letters but his writing talent isn't the problem. He's watched Cas find them once or twice and he immediately throws them out, he doesn't even read them.

Dean's also tried leaving gifts but, let's face it, Dean's a little hopeless with this stuff. He knows how to woo girls; chocolates, jewellery and roses, Cas is a little different. He's left balloons attached to Cas' locker, but that only seemed to embarrass him. He spent all the extra money he has on a few early editions of Cas' favourite books and sent them to his house, but God only knows what happened to them with Gabriel there. He knows most of his attempts are pretty empty of sentiment but he doesn't know how else to go about it and he's running out of options. He needs guidance. Dean goes to Sam for help, goodness knows he and Jess have had some ups and downs.

He finds Sam studying in his room.

"Hey," Sam greets, "how goes the mission to get Cas back?"

Dean exhales and moves to collapse on Sam's bed, "Awful."

"I hope you're not giving up after three days," Sam says.

Dean grunts, "Well… What else can I do?" He asks his kid brother.

"Well… what have you done so far?" Sam asks.

Dean exhales, "Uhh… letters… gifts… as far as I can tell he just throws them out."

Sam snorts, "Dean, that's not gonna do it."

"Well?" Dean prompts, starting to get a little frustrated and sitting up, "Then help me!" Dean cries desperately, at the brink of his breaking point, "I need help or I'm gonna… I don't know."

Sam sighs, "Dean… just use your head."

Dean just stares at Sam blankly, "Thank you… you've been very helpful." He says sarcastically.

Sam rolls his eyes, "Well… you said that you would gladly have the whole school know about you and Cas if it meant you could be together."

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Of course," Dean clarifies, like he's offended by the question.

"Well, then… prove that to Cas."

Sam's words cause a plan to formulate in Dean's head almost immediately.

"Thanks, Sam," he says before leaving him alone to study.

Dean sees Cas walk into the cafeteria and he practically leaps from his seat. He'd been anxious about this since he decided to do it yesterday, but the time had to be perfect. Now, the moment had finally arrived. Dean is already in his face before Cas can join the lunch line.

"Dean, what do you want?" Cas asks.

Dean tries to ignore the obvious fact that Cas doesn't want his company but he's getting used to that.

Dean shrugs, "To talk," he says.

Cas rolls his eyes, "We've talked, Dean," he begins, his voice layered thick in annoyance, "I'm done talking to you."

"Well, then… we don't have to talk," Dean quips, "we can make out instead."

Dean grins. It takes all of Cas' willpower not to smile back. He hates that Dean still has the ability to make him laugh at his stupid jokes.

"Dean," Cas begins and he accidently lets a little smile sneak into his voice and Dean sees it.

"God, I've missed your smile," Dean grins.

Cas shakes his head, "Dean… please," he continues, removing his grin.

"C'mon Cas… I want to show you how much you mean to me," Dean continues, "how much I want you back." Cas just raises his eyebrows at Dean, boredom evident in his face. "Just kiss me once… please."

Cas looks outraged, "Don't be ridiculous," he says quickly.

"I'm serious," Dean implores, "just one kiss, Cas… in front of everyone… I want to prove that I don't care what anyone thinks… I just want you."

Cas gives Dean a look like he's questioning his sanity, "Are you high?"

Dean frowns, "No," he says, taken back, "of course not."

"Well then, you're crazy," Cas decides before finally evading Dean and walking away. Dean snags his trench coat and Cas stops, sighing.

"Cas… please," Dean begs. Cas turns around to face him. "I want to do this… I _need_ to do this… I need to show you that I don't care what these people think."

"And then what?" Cas asks, digging his hands in his pockets, "You think this will get me back?"

Dean sighs, this isn't going _at all_ like he was hoping, "I'm just trying to make it right… I want you to know that I will gladly let everyone see us kissing if it means I can possibly be with you."

"Dean," Cas says seriously, "there's no _possibly_… I appreciate what you're trying to do but it's a lost cause."

"Cas…" Dean pleads, "Please… just let me do this."

Cas sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, "Dean… none of this matters because I'm _not_ kissing you." Cas finally looks up and his eyes look tired, "End of story."

Cas turns as if to walk away but he stops at the sound of Dean's voice.

"Fine," Dean says quickly, "I'll do it on my own."

Cas frowns and turns around to face Dean, who's got that look like he's about to do something crazy. Without warning, Dean leaps up onto one of the occupied tables.

"Dean," Cas cautions, "what… what are you doing?" He hisses, fearing that Dean's about to do something embarrassing.

"Proving something," he retorts.

"Dean!" Cas hisses but Dean ignores him as he turns to face the cafeteria, a few faces staring at him.

"HEY!" Dean calls at the top of his lungs and the entire room turns towards the noise. A random guy calls out 'Winchester' in encouragement. Dean gives him an appreciative wave. "I have an announcement to make."

Someone calls out a less than supportive comment and Dean barks at him to shut up, silencing the whole populace. Dean could put the fear in anyone at this school.

"As you all know… my name is Dean Winchester," he begins, "most of you know me as a famous ladies man… what can I say, I have wicked game…" some guy hoots but Dean looks unimpressed, "but what you don't know is that I'm in the closest."

The crowd's noise level turns from minimal to deadly.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing?" Cas hisses.

"That's right," Dean begins, "I'm gay!"

"Fag!" Someone calls and laughter erupts.

Dean points into the crowd at the culprit, "You say that again, Roman and I'm gonna come over there and kick your ass!" The room falls silent again. Dean adjusts his jacket, "You see this guy," Dean points to Cas. Cas blushes at the sight of all those eyes on him and covers his face.

"Oh my God," he whispers to himself.

"He's the _greatest_ person in the world," Dean begins and Cas uncovers his face to watch Dean. "I'm totally in love with Castiel Novak…"

Cas bites his lip at Dean's public confession.

"Not only am I totally in love with this guy…" Dean continues, "he has me completely and utterly _whipped_."

Cas stifles a smile chuckle but his smile doesn't last long. The love of his life is publically acknowledging their homosexual relationship to the entire population of their high school and Cas doesn't know how to feel. He wants to take Dean and kiss him in front of everyone but he can't. He yearns to forgive Dean, every single inch of him yearns for Dean.

"Now you can go back to your own business," Dean says before gracefully stepping down off the table.

Dean's eyes find Cas' and there's tears in them. Dean's heart lips into his chest. He got through to Cas.

Cas looks sad and happy, it's a strange look, "I'm sorry," he whispers, breaking Dean's heart with only a few words before walking away and leaving the cafeteria.

**I'm sorry to leave you hanging again but the next chapter will be up within the next few days, scout's honour. **


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel feels like he's only gotten worse on the emotional scale, ever since Dean's public announcement and the ever-comforting conversation with Meg. It's not fair really because he's smart enough to know that Meg is probably full of crap but he's also vulnerable enough that her words still play in his mind.

Today, because misery truly does love company, Anna refused to take no for an answer and forced Castiel to accept her standing invitation to drive him home. Now Castiel can't get rid of her.

"We're not gonna do this," Anna blurts out and Castiel just looks at her with confusion, "I can't let you sit here and watch TV all night." Anna pats him on the arm playfully like some over-excited puppy. She's been sitting on her knees, facing Castiel instead of the TV the entire time they've been home. It makes Cas uncomfortable but he tries his best to ignore her and merely stares at the TV with his hands comfortably cupping his knees.

"I like watching TV," Castiel defends softly, refusing to look at Anna.

"Not on Friday night… We need to do something! Go out… get drunk and flirt with cute boys," Anna giggles. Castiel can't bring himself to even give her a generous smile. The two of them have never 'gone out' before, Castiel's too much of a wallflower.

"We're seventeen, Anna," Castiel reminds her, "we can't do that."

Anna smiles, "_I _have a fake ID," she muses.

"Okay," Castiel says, still without looking at her, "_you _go out."

"Cas!" She complains and something in his stomach turns. Everyone had started calling him that since Dean introduce the nickname but now Castiel wishes he'd told them off for it. Now, the name's tainted.

"Don't call me that!" Castiel grumbles fiercely through his clenched teeth, turning his scorching eyes on Anna. Anna cringes, her expression looking wounded. Castiel softens, suddenly inflicted by guilt, "Anna, I'm sorry… I'm just…"

"I know," Anna whispers but her eyes still look pained, "it's okay." She leans over to squeeze Castiel's hand in comfort and the best he can give in return is a sad smile.

"Thanks," is all he manages to say.

Anna lets the silence hang for a moment before she breaks it, "But seriously… we can't just sit here," she tries to coax Castiel, who merely rolls his eyes. Castiel suddenly wishes he'd laid the guilt trip on her so that she'd leave him alone. Dishonest as it would be, it's still tempting.

"I'm not 21," he repeats, "and we have no friends."

"We can make you 21," she attempts, "and then we make friends," Anna grins.

"It won't work," Cas replies.

"Not with _that_ attitude," Anna retorts, a little defeated.

"Not with _any_ attitude," he responds.

Anna rolls her eyes as Gabriel walks through the door.

"Hey," Gabe greets and he's met with a mirrored salutation. He drops his keys on the kitchen table, pulls a beer from the fridge and makes himself comfortable on the couch, putting Castiel in the middle of himself and Anna.

"What's on the books tonight, kids?" Gabriel asks.

"Gabe, convince Castiel to come out with me," Anna pleads.

Castiel rolls his eyes, "I _can't _go out," he reminds her for the third time.

"No, you're making excuses," Anna argues, "there are a number of ways to get you in."

"Where are you going?" Gabe asks.

"Spider," Anna responds quickly, "apparently it's the hottest club in town but _skippy_ here is letting the whole 'under-age' thing keep him from having a good time."

Gabe makes an understanding face before pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. Gabe sorts through it before pulling out a card.

"Here… take my ID," Gabe hands it to his brother, who looks at him blankly.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Castiel reminds him but Gabe just smiles a little too widely.

"I think it's a great idea for you to get out," he retorts and Castiel rolls his eyes.

"Perfect," Anna purrs.

"No one's going to buy this," he argues, "I look nothing like Gabe."

"No one at Spider checks that closely… you'll be fine," Gabriel dismisses his petty concerns.

Castiel sighs, "Won't you need this?" He asks Gabe in a final attempt to get out of going.

Gabe shakes his head, "Nope… quiet one in."

Castiel gives his brother his best aggravated look.

"You see?" Anna chimes in, "It all works out… Now go upstairs and put on a tight pair of jeans," she encourages. Castiel begrudgingly gets up to head to his bedroom, catching a glimpse of Gabe and Anna sharing a sly high-five.

"How about you, me… a six pack, some pizza and a led zeppelin album?" The drunk whispers into Jo's ear. She smirks.

"How about you bite me?" She retorts, practically yelling over the music.

"Just tell me where, honey," he yells back, smiling at his own crude joke.

Jo's death glare is enough for the drunk to retract his goofy grin and stumble off in the other direction.

"You know, if you weren't so cold, you might have a boyfriend, Jo," Ash yells at her, watching the display.

Jo rolls her eyes, "Boyfriends are overrated," she retorts and Ash grins.

Loud music, strangers groping you and people doing god-knows-what to your drinks isn't exactly Jo's idea of a good time but she sticks it out for Ash. Since the Dean, Meg and Cas debacle, the group had sort of parted ways. Meg and Ruby were practically exiled and Dean couldn't stand to be alone with anyone else but Jo and Ash so the others fell by the waist side. It's for this reason that they decided to break tradition and go out instead of the three of them having a lonely party in Ash's basement like three sad, nerdy virgins playing dungeons and dragons. The only backfire was that Dean didn't want any part of it so now Jo's deflecting drunks while Ash tries to keep the chicks at bay and none of it helps Dean. You wouldn't think Ash has game but the boy can pull chicks. Jo thinks it's the hair, Ash's way in is through humour and drunk chicks love the mullet.

When Jo spies Cas' tan trench coat and a red mane of hair walk through the doors of Spider, she thanks the lord that Dean bowed out. She's even _more_ grateful when some hottie creeps up on Cas almost instantly. He's definitely older but really good looking with a strong jaw and dirty blonde hair. Jo almost cringes when the new guy cracks a joke and Cas starts laughing. The redhead makes an excuse that Jo can't hear and leaves the table so that the two boys are left alone.

"Shit," Jo whispers.

_Flip_. 'Earlier today an elderly woman was injured-,'. _Flip_. 'You're just a brilliant coward-,'. _Flip._ 'Tonight on Monster truck rumble-,'. _Flip._ 'Stupid Flanders-,' _Flip._ 'Je vais vous habiller en jetons marines-,". _Flip._

"Will you stop?!" Cries Sam unexpectedly, causing Dean to jump.

"What?"

"You've been channel flipping for ten minutes," Sam explains from his post at the kitchen table, trying to do his homework, "do you think you could give it a rest?"

"I'm sorry," Dean offers, wishing he'd settled on a different channel. "I'm just…" _Restless? Sad? Frustrated? All of the above._ "Bored," he settles with.

"Well then go out," Sam offers, "it's Friday night… don't you usually hang out with your friends."

Dean chews his lip, "Yeah," he says softly, although he's not confident on the number of friends he has left. "They're at Spider tonight."

"So, you should go," Sam suggests, "It might take your mind off things." _Things. _Dean and Sam both hear the double meaning behind the word, _things_ is just a code for _Cas_, and they both know it. Whatever the code, Sam's logic remains the same. It might be good to take his mind off _things_ and it sure as hell beats sitting around the house dwelling on _things_.

"You're right, Sammy," Dean agrees, getting up to grab his keys and jacket before heading for the door, "you're always right."

"Yeah," Sam agrees, "Remember that!" He calls and Dean closes the door behind him.

It doesn't take long for Dean to get to Spider and it looks like the club's in full swing. He checks his watch and it's only just twelve, his friends should surely still be here, even on a bad night. He parks the Impala and heads inside, flashing his ID to the bouncer on the way in. His eyes immediately search the place for Jo and he spots her at a table near the bar with a familiar face. He makes his way over, noticing a few glances from women on his way. He doesn't have it in him to even appreciate it.

"Hey!" He calls out, finally making it over to Jo and Ash.

"Dean!" Jo cries, clearly startled and Dean just frowns at her. She was the one who suggested he should come, why is she surprised?

"Yeah," he says simply.

"I didn't think you were coming," she explains but something in her expression tells him it's more than that. Dean looks to Ash with answers but he's wearing an odd face too. Dean feels suddenly unwanted.

"What's going on?" He asks suspiciously.

"Nothing," Jo lies badly before turning on a fake, concerned expression and Dean knows she's getting ready to lie again, "Dean, honey, you look a little feverish… maybe you should head home."

Dean just looks at her, "No," he says slowly, "What's up with you two, why do you want me to leave?"

Jo bites her lip and Ash looks down, avoiding Dean's stare. Jo's eyes give her away as she spares a risky glance over Dean's shoulder. Dean follows it, despite Jo's protests.

Dean wishes he'd just listened as his eyes fall on the table closest to the back wall of the club. Sitting at the table is Cas and some pretty boy who could be Ken Doll's fabulous cousin.

"Who the hell is that?" Dean yells. Jo and Ash shake their heads, although he knew they didn't know, he just needs to vent, "What the hell is he doing here?"

Jo shrugs, almost apologetically, "he came with his friend Anna," she explains.

"Yeah?" Dean growls, "And where is she… why isn't she stopping this?"

Jo frowns, "Stopping what?"

Dean gestures wildly to his ex in the corner with some guy whispering god-knows-what in his ear. It makes Dean's blood boil.

"To this," he spits, "that guy's bad news."

Jo rolls her eyes but lets Dean rant, "She left about half an hour ago," Jo explains, "looking pretty out-of-it… Cas put her in a cab and came back inside."

Dean gives her a look so outraged that it looks like he might be sick, "So she just _left_ him here?!"

Jo makes a 'get real' face, "Dean, he's a big boy… he can take care of himself."

"You don't know Cas," Dean retorts. No, only _he_ knows Cas, he knows that Cas doesn't belong in a place like this. Cas is too fragile to be able to deal with a place like this. The only time Cas isn't shy and awkward and lost is when he's with Dean, the way it should be.

Dean watches the two, fuming. The pretty boy runs a hand over Cas' knee under the table and Cas politely pushes it away. The boy looks frustrated but hides it. Dean smiles to himself, _that's my boy,_ he thinks. _No_, he reminds himself, _he's not your boy… now, walk away!_

Dean has to literally rip his eyes away. He turns to Jo, his nausea probably very clear on his face.

"I'm sorry, Hon," she soothes.

Dean almost grunts, "I should go," he says but he can't help sparing one more glance in Cas' direction. He stops dead. _Did he just see…?_ He thought he saw the boy slip something into Cas' drink but it happened so quick he can't be sure. He leans in to Jo.

"Am I crazy or did I just see pretty boy roofie Cas?" He asks her.

Dean can clearly see that she hadn't been watching but she gives him a disbelieving look, "Are you sure you didn't just _want_ to see that?"

Dean looks back and the boy looks to be encouraging Cas to drink and Cas is doing it. Dean doesn't need more than that, he sets off. He faintly hears Jo trying to talk some sense into him but he can't be bothered to care. He finally makes it within earshot but Cas has had a lot of his drink.

"Cas!" Dean calls and he hates the way Cas' face falls at the sight of him, it used to light up, "Put that down," he says, finally arriving at the table. Cas swears under his breath but keeps his eyes on his empty glass.

Cas doesn't look at Dean, "What the hell are you doing here?" He asks quietly.

"Protecting you," Dean says.

Cas can think of a million different things wrong with that but he can't bring himself to argue.

"Get lost, Dean," Cas dismisses him without meeting his glance.

"You heard him," the Blonde guy says with a smirk that makes Dean want to punch the little twerp but he holds back.

"No," Dean says, "I'm not leaving you with _him_, Cas."

The boy looks delightfully taken aback.

Cas chuckles humourlessly, "That's not really your call, Dean," he says darkly, finally looking up at Dean.

"I'm making it my call," Dean replies pointedly.

"Dean, what the hell are you even doing here?" Cas demands but Dean ignores him, he's currently staring down Blondie, who just stares at him blankly.

"Cas," Dean begins slowly, "are you alright?"

Cas just looks confused, "I'm fine," he says, like it's obvious, "thank you for your concern," he says sarcastically, "now… leave me alone."

"He slipped something in your drink." Dean informs him.

"What?" The boy asks in very practiced outraged.

Cas clenches his jaw and looks away, "You're unbelievable," he whispers and rubs his forehead to soothe a phantom headache.

"I'm serious," Dean implores, finally looking at Cas.

Cas looks disgusted as he returns the glance, "You've got some nerve."

Dean rolls his eyes, "This isn't a jealousy thing," he explains begrudgingly.

"Really? Because it sure sounds like it," Cas says, his voice trailing off a little as he starts to feel a little woozy.

"I swear,"

"What, is this your boyfriend, or something?" The blonde asks Cas.

They answer simultaneously.

"Yes," Dean says with purposeful intimidation.

"No," Cas answers at the same time. The two share a mutually annoyed look. "Yeah," Cas says sarcastically, "this isn't a jealousy thing."

Dean chews his lip.

"So, Ex?" The guy prompts.

Dean grinds his teeth.

"No," Cas replies, looking menacingly at Dean, "He's nothing to me."

Dean inhales painfully, "Cas… I'm not screwing around," he continues.

"Listen, Pal," the other boy begins, standing up to emphasise his dominance, "he's asked you to leave."

Cas opens his mouth to agree but he's suddenly hit with an overwhelming dizzy spell. He suddenly feels like he's just drunk a liquor store. _How did this happen?_ He thinks, _I've only been drinking coke._ Cas feels sick, but it's a different kind of sick as he realises that Dean was right, he's been drugged.

He needs to get out of here, away from this creep, even if that means asking Dean for help. He really doesn't want to but Dean's his only hope and he needs to get away from the lights and noise, he can hardly see.

"Dean," Cas mumbles.

"No…" Dean says pointedly, unaware that Cas is calling out to him, "I'm not leaving… I'm not letting you lay a finger on my Cas you fucking pervert," Dean spits.

Cas would correct him for saying _his_ Cas if he didn't feel so sick. He can't concentrate, his head is fuzzy and the music feels like it's sending vibrations throughout his whole body.

Dean eyes Cas carefully, he really doesn't look good. His upper body sways as he almost falls out of his chair but Dean is there to catch him. He pulls Cas up and drapes an arm over his shoulder.

Cas leans into Dean, welcoming the help. Dean's heart yearns as he feels Cas clutching at the front of his shirt. This is probably the only time Cas will ever act like he needs him, the only time he'll ever hug Dean to him.

"Dean," Cas whispers, causing Dean to ache at the sound of Cas practically moaning his name, how he longs for that sound again.

"Hey leave him alone!" The other boy yells, moving around the table to confront Dean.

"Back off!" Dean retorts. Usually, he would gladly kick this guy's head in for even _trying_ to do what he was trying to do but he has a very drunk Cas in his arms.

"Make me," the guy prompts, getting in Dean's face.

Dean turns his body so that Cas is at least somewhat protected. He knows he should get Cas out of here but he can't keep his mouth closed, "What's wrong goldilocks, can't get laid on your own?"

"Fuck you," the guy spits, getting very agitated, "your boyfriend was being a fucking tease."

Dean stops dead. "Sorry, Cas," he says quietly, carefully placing Cas on a chair. Cas slumps over to put his head in his hands. Dean hears him groan but he'll take care of him soon.

"Dean," Cas begs but Dean ignores him as he throws a full forced fist into Blondie's face, knocking him on his ass and sending nose blood spraying out all over the floor. A few tables are knocked over in the process and glasses shatter. Some people yell and Dean knows the bouncers are coming.

"Dean," Cas moans again, louder this time, still not lifting his face from his hands.

He pulls Cas up and against his side again, "I got you, baby," Dean whispers.

Cas makes a sick noise, "I'm not your baby," he slurs quietly but Dean hears him perfectly. Despite his words, Cas continues to cling to Dean.

Dean moves quickly to get away from the scene of the crime. He practically carries Cas outside and into the car park.

"Dean," Cas whispers and Dean can hear it in his voice, he's going to be sick. Cas pushes away from Dean to stumble to the outside wall of the club. He leans against the bricks as he begins to hurl. Dean's there in a second, rubbing his back and making sure he can stand up straight.

It's now that Cas decides to kick up a stink. He pushes Dean away with more force than you'd expect from a scrawny thing like Cas. Dean doesn't stray far, too worried that Cas might fall over. Cas stands up, slightly swaying, his sick feeling gone now that he's thrown up but the drunkenness remaining.

"Get lost, Dean," Cas curses.

Dean just rolls his eyes, "I'm not going anywhere," he says stubbornly.

Cas turns to lean his back against the brick wall, he pulls a sour face, "Is this what drunk feels like?" He asks, staring out into the empty car park, trying to avoid Dean's eyes at all costs.

"Pretty much," Dean answers, digging his hands in his pockets.

"Why do you do it?" He asks.

Dean sighs, "To numb the pain," he says quickly and honestly.

Cas finally looks at Dean, "That seems accurate," Cas replies sadly. Dean looks at his feet.

He opens his mouth to respond but closes it as Cas groans and tilts his head against the wall.

"I feel so weird," he complains.

Dean edges closer, "Cas, let me take you home," he says but he stops as Cas holds up one finger as if to stop him.

"Don't come near me," he says quickly and Dean winces at the words.

"Cas… please," Dean begs.

"Dean," Cas says in a husky voice without looking at him, "I don't want to get in that car with you."

"Well, I'm not leaving you here," Dean begins, "so you have no choice."

Cas glares at Dean and digs into his pocket to pull out his mobile phone, "I will just call Gabe," Cas slurs smugly before his face pulls down into a frown. He sighs and puts his phone away.

Dean raises his eyebrow.

"Dead battery," Cas explains, a little embarrassed.

"So," Dean continues, "I guess you're coming home with me."

"Nope," Cas responds, popping his lips on the 'p'. He pushes away from the wall, "I'll walk."

Cas stumbles without his wall to balance him. He shuffles clumsily towards the footpath and Dean eyes him carefully. His foot hits the pavement awkwardly and his knees give way. Dean launches towards him just in time to catch him before he hits the ground. Cas clutches at Dean as he's hoisted back up on his feet.

"God, Cas," Dean whispers, "you can hardly walk."

"Don't tell me my business," Cas slurs but his hand stays glued to Dean's shirt.

Dean almost laughs, "Cas… I'm taking you home," he says as he practically drags Cas to the Impala.

Cas groans in protest but doesn't refuse. Dean opens the passenger side door and gently eases Cas inside until he's strapped in. Cas tilts his head back against the seat and closes his eyes. Dean jumps in the other side and starts the engine. The sound startles Cas. Dean takes off out of the car park before Cas can throw himself out of the car or anything else equally crazy.

"I hate this car," Cas says simply.

Dean exhales in annoyance, "Why?" He asks, his curiosity unable to be stifled.

"It reminds me of the time I drove it while you blew me," Cas says out of the blue.

Dean feels the blood rush to his groin almost immediately. He clears his throat uncomfortably and looks out the window. He feels Cas watching him.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Dean?" Cas asks.

"Of course not," Dean lies.

Cas breaks out in a fit of random giggles.

"What's so funny?" Dean asks.

"I can see your boner through your jeans," Cas laughs.

Dean looks down and, sure enough, it's clear as day. He blushes and looks out the window to avoid looking at Cas.

"Are you embarrassed?" Cas asks. Dean doesn't answer, "It's not like I haven't seen it before… and felt it."

Dean's groin twitches, "Cas…"

"Yes Dean?" He prompts.

"I don't think we should be talking about this," Dean says quickly.

"I don't really care what you think," Cas says bitterly, "I want to reminisce about all the times we've fucked."

"Fine," Dean agrees cynically, "why don't you tell me all your favourite parts? And don't spare any graphic details."

"Hmm, let's see," Cas continues thoughtfully, either oblivious to Dean's tone or simply unconcerned, "there was our first time… well… _my_ first time… god knows when yours was…" Dean rolls his eyes but ignores the comment, "then the first time you let me fuck you… the first time you blew me in the closest… the time we had phone sex… the time I sucked you off in the middle of that abandoned football field… and we can't forget the time I fucked your brains out in the janitor's closest… _that_ was fun."

"Stop it, Cas," Dean says quickly.

"What?" Cas asks innocently, "You asked."

"And now I'm telling you to stop," Dean barks.

"I don't understand why _you're_ so bent out of shape… it's not like those memories are tainted for _you_ by betrayal."

Dean swallows hard but says nothing, he lets the silence hang in the air for a moment, "No," he finally agrees, "but they're still tainted by loss," he says quietly.

Cas doesn't respond and they sit in silence for the rest of the drive.

Dean finally pulls into his own driveway and steps out. He makes his way around the hood and opens the passenger door. Cas just sits there and stares at Dean.

"C'mon," Dean grumbles as he pulls Cas up out of the seat and hoists his arm over his own shoulders.

"What are we doing here?" Cas slurs. "Why didn't you take me home?"

"My house was just easier," Dean explains in a gruff and annoyed voice.

Dean's abruptly pulled into a standstill as Cas stops dead, refusing to be pulled along.

"You're grumpy today," Cas acknowledges with a frown.

"Yeah, yeah," Dean grunts, attempting to persuade Cas to move with his strength.

"I don't like you grumpy," Cas says with a pout, although it's too dark for Dean to see.

"Cas, you don't like me - period." Dean says bitterly as he continues to struggle to drag Cas to the front door.

"Well, I like you even less when you're grumpy," Cas snaps back.

Dean rolls his eyes, "I'm sorry my mood is hurting your feelings, Cas."

"What's your problem, Dean?" Cas asks and he sounds genuinely curious.

"Why do you care?" He asks.

"Why wouldn't I?" Cas asks, as if a little offended.

"Apparently I mean nothing to you," Dean reminds him, a little bitterness in his voice.

"Dean, you know I just say those things to hurt you," Dean finally manages to get Cas to the front door and he fishes into his pocket for the house keys and opens the door.

"It's true, isn't it?" Dean replies gruffly, not very interested in the conversation, just hoping Cas will shut up soon.

"Oh shut up…" Cas cries, "You know it all meant the world to me… _you_ meant the world to me."

Dean inhales sharply, feeling that familiar surge of affection, "Cas, don't say that."

"Why?" Cas sings.

"Because you're drunk… and if I hear this now it'll hurt more in the morning when you go back to hating me."

"I hate you now anyway."

"I know."

"I just love you as well." The comment makes the butterflies in Dean's stomach flutter uncontrollably.

"Christ," Dean whispers, he never thought he'd hear that again.

Dean drags Cas up the stairs and into his bedroom. He stumbles in the darkness until his shins hit the bedframe. Cas giggles as he's plopped down on Dean's bed.

"Back in Dean Winchester's bed," Cas says to himself.

Dean rolls his eyes, "Try and get some sleep, Cas," he says.

"Wait Dean," Cas calls, "Thanks for… saving me and stuff."

"Of course," Dean says, "do you really think I would've left you with him?"

It's too dark to see anything but Dean can make out the outline of a shrug, "I don't really know what you're capable of."

Dean knows he deserves it but he's at breaking point. There's only so much he can take.

"That's not fair, Cas," Dean begins.

"Beg to differ," Cas says casually.

"Cas!" Dean snaps, at the end of his patience, "I'm sorry… I know I can't make it better…"

"Doesn't mean you should stop trying…" Cas retorts.

"What?" Dean asks, genuinely outraged. _Why would he want that?_ Dean wonders, "Cas, you just tell me to leave you alone… why would you want me to keep trying to win you back?"

Cas sighs and sits up, "Honestly…" He begins and all mocking and bitterness has left his tone. He's no longer the angry, hurt Cas that Dean has become so familiar with. He's serene, peaceful, like the Cas Dean used to know. Both he loves, one he fears. "I fear the day you stop trying…" Cas continues, "even though I can't forgive you… I am terrified of the day you give up on me."

The words fill Dean with an unfamiliar emotion. It's like a tragic happy. Cas loves him, he'll always love him and Dean feels the same but that doesn't mean they can be together and it's all Dean's fault. Cas wants him, more than anything, which just makes things harder. Cas can't risk letting Dean hurt him again and Dean can't blame him. If their positions were reversed, Dean doesn't know if he could survive more than one heartbreak from Cas. Being apart from him is hard enough.

"Then I never will," Dean responds simply.

"Dean," Cas begins and there's sorrow in his voice. Dean hears odd noises as Cas stumbles to flick on the bedside lamp. Dean can see the sympathy in Cas' expression, "I'll never forgive you… you'll hurt forever."

"I know… but I've hurt you enough… if me giving up is gonna make you hurt more, then I won't do it… I couldn't stand to cause you anymore pain."

Cas feels tears well in his eyes and he prays that Dean doesn't notice, "Goddamn it Dean!" Cas snaps, jumping up so forcibly that he doesn't even stumble, "Why do you make this so damn hard? Why can't you just let me hate you?"

Dean chews his lip, "You will in the morning," he whispers sadly.

"No," Cas growls, "fuck you Dean!" He yells, "Fuck you for making _me_ feel guilty."

"Cas, I never…"

"Shut up!" He yells, the water spilling over his eyes, "How could you do this to me?! How can you continue to make me love you when I'm fucking _aching_ inside... because of you!"

Dean winces like his words cause him physical pain.

"Cas, don't," Dean whispers, he knows he deserves to hear the worst of Cas' wrath but he can't take the thought of Cas in pain.

"No," Cas refuses, "I'm not going to stop just because _you_ can't handle it, Dean! What about me?"

"I know, Cas," Dean whimpers, "I'm so… I'm so, so sorry."

Cas shakes his head, "I hate you, Dean!" He yells, "I fucking hate you for making me love you!"

"Cas," Dean cries, "please… stop."

"No," Cas says again, this time his voice is softer, more pained. Cas reaches up to clutch his hair in his fingers, "I can't handle this, Dean," Cas says in a shaky voice.

Dean bites his lip to hide his pain, "What do you want, Cas?" He asks, "I'll do anything… I'll move away and never see you again if it will make this easier for you."

Cas stops and looks Dean dead in the eyes, tears staining his cheeks, "Could you do that?" He asks.

Dean sucks in a stammered breath, "If you asked me to," Dean says, "I would do anything for you, Cas… even if it meant giving up the only thing I have that's worth living for."

Cas frowns, "Dean…"

Dean looks at him like he's confused, "You, Cas," he says simply.

"Dean, I'm not yours anymore," Cas says softly, not unkindly.

"I know… It kills me to see you when I can't have you but it would be ten times worse to never see you at all."

Cas bites his lip, overwhelmed with affection. He hates that Dean can make him ache for him with only a few words.

"God damn it, Dean," Cas whispers sorrowfully. Dean stares at his feet, unable to look up at the man he hurt, the man he disappointed and the man he loves.

The silence stains the air.

"Fuck it," Cas whispers and, before Dean can look up, Cas is there. He crushes their lips together hungrily and runs his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean's body responds before his head can catch up and he lifts Cas up off his feet. Cas wraps his legs around Dean's waist and Dean turns, pressing Cas against the door. Dean caresses Cas' face, attempting to pull their lips even closer together. Cas feels so good that Dean could start crying again. His lips, his body, even his stubble under Dean's fingers fills his body with an unbelievable surge of love. He's missed this, oh god, has he missed this. The way Cas runs his hands through his hair and down his back, clutching against him, meeting his eagerness. The way Cas softly moans against Dean's mouth.

Dean wraps his hands around Cas' thighs to keep him up as he pushes away from the wall and carries Cas over to his bed and lays him down.

"Dean," Cas breathes against his mouth, "God, I've missed you." Dean groans and presses their lips together again.

He breaks away momentarily; "Me too, Cas," He breathes, "I've missed you so much," his voice is pained with desire and yearning.

"Don't ever let me go again, Dean," Cas whispers between kisses. His words cause Dean to halt.

"What?" He whispers back.

"I said: don't let me go," he repeats before pressing their lips together once more.

His words make Dean's heart twitch and his stomach clench. Not because the words make him so happy he wants to cry, although they do, because Dean knows, deep down, that Cas wouldn't be saying these things if he weren't out of his head. Dean also knows that there'd be no way Cas would be lying underneath him right now if he were sober.

Dean can't do it, not like this. He wants Cas more than anything in the world but he can't take advantage of him like this.

"Cas," Dean breaks away, "I can't."

He feels Cas frown, "Of course you can," Cas encourages but Dean shakes his head.

"Cas, you're drunk… this isn't right."

"No… Dean, I want this… I need you," Cas begs, "please don't stop." Cas' hand clutches the front of Dean's shirt and pulls him down against his lips. "Please," he begs, "I want you Dean." Cas' hand slides down the front of his body to palm Dean's hardness.

Dean makes a noise between a gasp and a moan. His hand takes a second longer than morally ethical to clasp around Cas' wrist and cease the most amazing feeling.

Dean breathes deeply through his nose; Cas only makes this more difficult.

It takes all of his willpower to pull away, "Cas… you wouldn't be doing this if you weren't drunk," Dean reminds him sadly. "So, I can't… You'll hate me even more in the morning." Dean pulls away but Cas grasps at him desperately.

"No, Dean," he pleads, "I want you… just stay with me, please."

It hurts Dean so much to say no, "Cas… it won't change anything between us and being with you again will just make it hurt more in the morning."

Cas shakes his head, "No… Dean… please… I forgive you…"

"Cas…" Dean growls, "_don't_ say that," he implores.

"It's true, Dean," Cas continues, "I forgive you… we can go back to the way things were… I miss you and I don't want to be without you."

"Cas, don't," Dean pleads.

"Dean, I love you," Cas blurts out.

A tear runs down Dean's cheek, why does Cas have to make it so hard?

"Not like this," Dean whispers as he places an affectionate and chaste kiss on Cas' forehead, he pulls back, "Get some sleep, Cas," Dean says. He aches to tell Cas a million things:_ I love you too, I'd give anything to be with you tonight and I'll never let you go if you ask me to_. But he can't. It'll just make it harder in the morning. Dean can hope that Cas will wake up and repeat his words but he can't let himself, it'll hurt too much later.

"Don't you…" Cas begins, "Don't you want me?" He asks insecurely.

Dean bites his lip, "More than anything," he whispers but he pulls away from Cas and gets off the bed. Neither of them speaks as Dean quietly leaves. Cas lies down on Dean's bed and wants to cry. He nestles into Dean's pillow and inhales; the entire bed is covered in Dean's smell. Tonight was reckless and messy and painful but Cas still considers it one of the best night's he's had since the last night he spent with Dean.

Dean solemnly heads down the stairs and practically falls onto the couch.

"You stupid, son of a bitch," he whispers. _I deserve a freaking medal for that!_ He thinks. Dean groans again and rolls over, knowing that there's no chance in hell he's getting to sleep tonight.

**I'm sorry I did this again. I'll make up for the cliff hangers very soon, scout's honour. **


	11. Chapter 11

Dean reads seven am on his watch. He'd not slept all night. He'd pretended to be asleep when Bobby got up to go to work. He prayed that he wasn't seen and he also prayed that Bobby had had enough drinks at the Roadhouse last night to sleep through the ruckus Dean and Cas surely made. There _was_ a lot of yelling. He's less concerned about Sam overhearing because, well, he knows they've slept together.

Dean stares at the ceiling, thinking about Cas sleeping only a story above him.

Dean doesn't realise he's been laying there for a few hours until he hears noises moving above him. Dean stands, he needs to do something. He makes his way into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.

Dean spends ten minutes trying to cook.

"Dean," Cas calls from the stairs and Dean's heart stops. _This is it_, he thinks, _the moment of truth_. Despite Dean's own warnings to himself that he shouldn't let himself hope that things will be the same in the morning, he still did.

"Cas," he replies, "I'm in the kitchen."

Dean waits anxiously as Cas slowly enters, his eyes curious. It reminds Dean of the way a shy deer might cautiously approach an unfamiliar water source. It would be almost amusing if Dean weren't so nervous.

"What am I doing here?" He asks.

Dean's heart sinks, "You don't remember?" He asks.

Cas continues to frown, "I remember the guy at the club and feeling _really_ funny…" Cas scratches his head comically, "and you taking care of me," he says simply, looking at Dean with an oddly saddened expression, "thank you," he says finally, "for doing that."

Dean's mouth twitches into a half smile, "Yeah... of course," he says awkwardly. "What else do you remember?" He prompts hopefully.

Cas frowns in concentration, "I… uh… remember getting into your car and that's about it," Cas lies. He sees the fall in Dean's expression and it hurts him, "Why?" He forces worry in his voice, "Did something happen?"

Dean looks almost offended and, after what Cas pulled last night, Cas can't blame him. Dean did the right thing and now Cas is standing here, making him feel guilty.

Dean looks at his former lover darkly, "I didn't date rape you… if that's what you mean," he spits bitterly.

Cas automatically regrets playing dumb. He hadn't meant to insinuate, he was just trying to sell his lie. He remembers everything, of course he does. He remembers practically begging for Dean, telling him he forgives and that he… _loves_ him. Last night, it was so easy for Cas to forget about what Dean had done and just be with him. He'd wanted Dean more than anything, he still does, but he can't say it. It'd been the greatest night, just to have the brief moments of intimacy with Dean again. Just to pretend, for a moment, that everything was right between them, that what Dean did didn't matter. But, the ugly truth is, they can't just go back to the way things were, Cas has to protect himself and he can't trust Dean. Even now, when they're not involved, Dean still has the power to destroy him. Cas has to pretend like yesterday didn't happen, he has to let Dean go.

But he has to amend his accusation, Dean deserves better than that. Despite his flaws, Dean had been the perfect gentlemen. Cas doesn't know if he could have done the same thing, if the roles were reversed. Unless… Dean just didn't want him last night, in which case, Cas looks like a complete fool. If what Meg said was true, it's possible that Dean might be done with Cas. He'd said wonderful things yesterday but he'd also walked away. The insecurity in Cas puts doubts in his mind.

"I didn't…" Cas begins, "I didn't mean it like that," he says quietly, unable to look Dean in the eye, fearing that his face will give away his guilt.

Dean's face softens, "Yeah," is all he can say and then he coughs uncomfortably.

"Why did you bring me here?" Cas asks to break the silence, "Why didn't you take me home?" This is actually something Cas can't recall.

"I, umm…" Dean clears his throat again, "didn't want Gabriel to think that I was trying something."

Cas lets a half smile grace his lips, "Dean, are you scared of my brother?"

Dean snaps his head up, hearing the smile in Cas' voice. It's contagious and Dean smiles back, it's been so long since he's seen a sober smile on those lips.

"No," Dean denies, his voice a pitch higher than normal, "I… just don't want him thinking any less of me."

Cas tries to hide the grin, "I believe you," he says unconvincingly.

Dean almost chuckles. The nice moment is interrupted as the toaster pops.

"I… uhh…" Dean begins, moving around the kitchen to butter the toast, "made you breakfast," Dean says awkwardly.

"You made me toast?" Cas asks, slightly amused and a little touched.

"Yeah," Dean replies with a nervous edge to his tone as he smears Cas' favourite jam onto the toast, "I tried to make you bacon and eggs too but… I, uhh… burnt them… so… toast."

Cas smiles at Dean's back but tries to shake it off as Dean turns around and places a plate at the table. Cas sits down and takes a bite.

"Thank you," he says as Dean hands him a cup of coffee.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asks as he takes the seat opposite Cas.

Cas shrugs, "Okay, I guess," he says, "I feel a little sick but I'm okay."

Dean snorts, "Well… lucky you… I'm usually in bed all day after a night like yours."

"Dean," Cas begins seriously, "what were you doing at the club last night?"

"I, uhh… was hanging out with Jo and Ash," he answers, "what were _you_ doing at a club?"

"Anna dragged me there," Cas replies bitterly, "and I was _not_ impressed."

"You seemed to be having a good time before…" Dean trails off, "Well… you know." Dean surprises himself with how calm his tone is. He realises that there wasn't jealousy there; he genuinely just wanted Cas to be enjoying himself. Dean sadly realises that he'd been subconsciously acknowledging the events of last night as a ticket in his favour. Cas having a bad experience with another man can only make Dean look better, right? Dean hates himself for having such a selfish view. Last night, Cas was hurt by yet _another_ guy. _How many times does that have to happen to Cas?_ Dean wonders, _why can't pricks like me just let him be? _

Cas shrugs uncomfortably, "I was trying to be polite," he answers honestly in a small voice, "even before…" Cas mirrors Dean's awkward tone, "well… you know… I was uncomfortable."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't really like that guy," Cas confesses but Dean can see he's just being honest, he isn't trying to sugar-coat anything for Dean's sake, "he kept touching me… I didn't know how to tell him I wasn't interested."

Dean surges with an unusual emotion. He feels suddenly angry at Blondie, making Cas uncomfortable but he also wants to laugh. It's just like Cas to be too polite to tell a creepy guy to get lost.

Dean decides it calls for a laugh, "You don't have a problem with that when it comes to me," he jokes. He prays that Cas doesn't get mad again. To his surprise, Cas' face lights up as he chuckles delightfully. Dean wishes he could brand that sound in his head.

"Yeah, well… that's different," Cas says, the humour still evident in his tone. "Manners would be wasted on you, Winchester," Cas laughs and Dean can't control the embarrassingly hearty chuckle that escapes his lips.

Dean savours the moment of the two of them laughing together, like he's deep in the ocean and it's the last breath of oxygen in his tank.

Dean curses the Gods of inopportune timing when they're interrupted by a loud, annoying cell phone ringtone. It can't be his, his ringtone is 'carry on my wayward son' by Kansas. He realises it's Cas'.

"Oh," Dean begins gesturing with his thumb towards the living room, "I put your phone on charge."

Cas stands when he realises it's his phone ringing, "Thanks," he mutters before disappearing into the living room.

After a moment, the ringing stops.

"Hello?" Cas answers. Dean can't hear the other voice but he can hear Cas perfectly. "Hey… Yeah… umm… at a friends'… no, not Anna… Um, listen Gabe something happened last night but I don't want you to freak out… I was talking to this guy last night…. Yeah, shut up… and I'm pretty certain he drugged me…" This time Dean hears a very loud 'what?' on the other end of the conversation, "Gabe, calm down, it's not what you think… I'm fine, nothing happened… um… Dean was at the club last night and he found me and got me out of there and took me home and everything… yeah… no, Gabe… no, I'm certain… believe me… No, Gabe, I'm not letting you-… No, I don't believe you… I… Gabe…" Cas groans, "Fine," he says definitively before re-entering the kitchen with his phone outstretched.

"He wants to talk to you," Cas says sympathetically. Dean gulps but takes the phone and puts it to his ear.

"Hello," he says.

"Dean," Gabe greets on the other end, "Cas said he got drugged last night."

"Yeah," Dean agrees.

"And you took care of him," he continues.

"Yeah," Dean agrees.

"Did you see the guy who did it?" Gabe asks.

"Um… yeah… but I don't know his name," Dean explains.

"Did you sock him one?" He asks and Dean smiles proudly.

"Yes, sir," he responds.

"Good," Gabe retorts and then coughs uncomfortably, "thank you, Dean… for taking care of my brother."

"Umm," Dean says awkwardly, "of course…"

"You're still a dick," Gabe says roughly, "but thank you."

Dean almost smiles, that's more than he deserves. "No prob-," Dean's cut off as Gabe hangs up. Dean closes the phone and hands it back to Cas.

"He didn't give you a hard time, did he?" Cas asks.

Dean smiles, "He _thanked_ me," he says, the disbelief clear in his own voice.

Cas looks just as confused as Dean feels, "How… _nice_ of him," he says.

"Yeah," Dean agrees, feeling pretty pleased with himself. The two stay there awkwardly.

Dean finally takes in Cas' appearance and realises that Cas is wearing a pair of his boxers and his ACDC t-shirt.

"Cas," Dean begins, "Are you… um… are you wearing my clothes?"

Cas looks down. _Shit,_ he thinks, he'd forgotten about that. Cas, in his state last night, had changed into some of Dean's clothes. It was partly because it was more comfortable and partly because he wanted to smell like Dean.

"Um," Cas begins awkwardly, _how am I going to explain this?_ He thinks. "I thought you must've changed me."

"Uhh… no," Dean responds, "I wouldn't have felt right about it."

"Oh," Cas says uncomfortably, "well, I guess I borrowed some clothes last night… I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," Dean responds, actually, he likes the look of Cas in his underwear.

"I… uhh…" Cas begins, "I should… probably get home."

Dean looks almost disappointed, "Oh… okay," he says, "I'll take you home."

Cas nods and plays with the phone in his hands, "I'll just… get changed." Cas leaves the kitchen to begrudgingly remove Dean's clothes.

The drive is painfully quiet. Dean spends the entire time fighting with himself. He opens his mouth a few times but always shuts it again. He finally gets the courage to talk when they pull into Cas' driveway.

"Well," Cas begins awkwardly, "thanks… for… everything."

Cas makes to leave, "Cas, wait," Dean says, "I know you don't remember but some things happened last night… and I wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell you."

"Oh," Cas swallows, "like what?"

"You… umm… well… you kissed me and…" Dean tries to breathe through the discomfort, "I didn't stop you right away… but… that was all that happened."

"Well, then… thanks," Cas says without looking at Dean. "That would've been stupid."

"Yeah," Dean agrees, thinking about the fact that he'd turned Cas down, "stupid."

Cas sits in the silence for a while, thinking of a million things to say but he never speaks up.

"And," Dean continues, "you should know that… you said some stuff last night-,"

"Stop Dean," Cas interrupts, closing his eyes as if he's in pain.

"What?"

"Stop," Cas repeats, "Just… stop." He looks to Dean and he's clearly confused, "I just… I don't think it's a good idea to talk about last night… whatever I said… I think you should just forget about it."

Dean purses his lips, "Because you didn't mean it, right?" He asks sadly.

"Probably not," Cas says meanly.

Dean sighs, "No…" He begins, "I know you don't remember but I can't let it go… What you said… what you told me… it meant the world to me… I can't just forget about it."

Cas closes his eyes, "Dean… whatever I said… I didn't mean it… I mean, I tried to kiss you last night… I was out of it."

Dean flinches, "They say that's when the truth comes out," he whispers.

Cas grunts in frustration, "Dean… just let it go."

"No, Cas!" Dean snaps, "I'm not letting it go… you told me you loved me last night, am I just supposed to forget about it?"

"Why not?" Cas barks, "You said so yourself… you knew it would be different in the morning, why are you trying to make last night real?"

Dean looks almost angry, he has to look away from Cas' eyes, "I thought you said you don't remember," he speaks through his teeth.

Cas inhales sharply, "I thought you'd let it go," he says quietly. "I didn't want to have to tell you that I didn't mean it."

"Great," Dean says, his hands tensing on the steering wheel, despite the fact that the car is parked.

"I'm sorry," Cas says.

"No…" Dean begins with an edge to his voice, "Cas, I know you meant it and so I can't let you go… I can't and I promised I wouldn't."

Cas scrunches his eyes and nose painfully, "Dean," he says sadly, "I was out of it… I was horny and I would've said anything."

Dean glares at him, "I know it was more than that, Cas and you do to."

Cas sighs, relaxing his face, "No, Dean… I think you just want to believe that."

Dean looks so hurt that it breaks Cas' heart. Last night, Cas made the biggest mistake of his life and told Dean not to let go. He'd confessed being terrified of Dean giving up and Dean had promised that he never would, despite knowing that there's no chance, just so Cas doesn't feel any more pain. Cas hates himself for not, for once in his life, being selfish but he can't help it. Dean won't give up if he still thinks Cas loves him and Cas can't let him do that to himself. Cas loves him. He loves him so much that, even after what they've been through, he can't put his own feelings before Dean's. He can't forgive but he can't allow him to suffer.

"Cas," Dean begins, "I know you… and I know I hurt you but you still love me… I know it."

Cas sighs again, "Dean," he whispers solemnly before looking him dead in the eye, "I _don't_ love you."

It's all Dean needs to hear but the last words he _wants_ to hear. Cas doesn't love him anymore and Dean deserves nothing less. This is it, it's finally over, Cas doesn't love him and Dean will _never_ get him back.

Dean exhales, "Yeah," he agrees, "okay."

Dean can't look at Cas again as he finally leaves and Dean's left alone.

Cas solemnly enters his house and Gabe's waiting for him at the kitchen table.

"Cassie," Gabe begins, standing up to examine Cas. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Cas says with an empty voice, feeling the need to get away, for the tears are coming, "I just need to be alone."

Cas escapes to his bedroom and closes the door eagerly. He breathes heavily, fearing that he's on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Fuck!" He screams at himself. "God damn it!" He cries and Cas can't help himself as he pulls down his bookshelf, breaking it and sending his books everywhere. Cas moves onto his bedside table and lamp, smashing the glass parts to pieces.

Cas continues to trash his room in frustration, finally appeased when everything's destroyed. Cas crumbles to the floor.

Dean hasn't heard from or spoken to Cas in over two weeks. He'd stopped his foolish mission to win Cas back and so they'd had no contact. He knows now that he needs to leave Cas alone.

"Here you go, boy," Ellen says, passing Dean a beer and winking at him, "don't tell the grumpy old man."

Dean smiles appreciatively and takes the much needed beer. Ellen is Jo's mother and the owner of the Roadhouse, Bobby's favourite watering hole. Dean needed some time away from any place that reminds him of Cas, and this is the last place in town he can go.

When Dean finishes his beer, Jo's there with a replacement. She works part-time alongside her mother.

"So, have you heard from Cas?" Jo asks and she regrets it instantly at the sight of Dean's pained look.

"No," He says gruffly.

Jo sighs, "I'm sorry," she sympathises before pulling out a tumbler glass, filling it with ice and switching Dean's beer for whiskey, "you need this more."

Dean gives her an appreciative smile.

"Jo, honey," Ellen calls from the other side of the bar, "go get a case of beer from down stairs."

Dean freezes. _Uh oh,_ he thinks, _busted._ Jo gives Dean a nervous 'good luck' expression before following her mother's request.

Ellen heads towards Dean and he tries to finish his scotch before she can take it away. Ellen reaches under the bar for the bottle of Johnny Walker and re-fills Dean's glass. Dean eyes her suspiciously.

"Jo doesn't give away my hooch for free unless it's necessary," Ellen explains, "I'm guessing you're having a hard time."

"Like you wouldn't believe," he explains.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, "I've got years of experience."

Dean grins, not many people can make him grin but Ellen's probably the closest thing he has to a mother and she makes a good one… a little rough around the edges, but good.

"Thanks but," Dean begins, "I'm okay," he lies.

Ellen gives him a tight smile, "Well… you know where the bottle is," she says, her way of saying: 'Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, dearie'.

Dean's vaguely aware that the door to the Roadhouse opens. He gives a sideways glance over his shoulder to make sure that it's not Bobby coming in to bust him. He feels safe to return to his drink at the sight of two twenty-something men.

They move to sit at the far side of the bar, a few chairs away from Dean.

"What can I get you?" Jo asks, back from fetching the case from the basement.

"One beer and a scotch on the rocks, thanks beautiful," one retorts.

Jo gives them her 'I'm gonna pretend like that doesn't make me sick' smile. She pops open the beer and pours the scotch.

"That's ten fifty," she says and the guy hands over some cash.

"Keep the change," he winks. Ellen eyes the men carefully. She's always careful when Jo's working.

Jo puts the money in the register and hands back the change anyway, "How about _you _keep your fifty cent tip and, in exchange, your run-of-the-mill compliments to yourself… okay?" She smiles sweetly. Ellen smiles and Dean can read her thoughts, _that's my girl_, she's thinking.

The guy doesn't look at all discouraged, his friend laughs, though.

"I like a girl with a little fight," He grins over his scotch.

Jo smiles back, "How do you feel about girls with _a lot_ of fight?" She asks before walking away to tend to her duties. The men just laugh and continue to converse.

Dean swallows his third drink and reaches for the bottle for a fourth. He tries to ignore the men at the end of the bar but they're acting strange, it's like they're trying to talk too quietly. Dean catches the odd word here and there but, otherwise, he can't tell what they're up to. _Maybe they're going to rob the place_, Dean thinks and he morbidly chuckles to himself, _goodluck_. Dean knows that the Roadhouse isn't exactly a place for the mild mannered, soft-at-heart types. It may as well be a biker bar.

Dean's ears prick at the two men's conversation as he catches something unsavoury. A name, more specifically. Dean's teeth clench automatically and he wonders how he didn't just break the glass in his hand. Suddenly, he's hoping they're here to rob the place, give Dean an excuse to shoot them.

"Lucifer?" Dean asks out loud, the word leaving his lips before he knows what's happening. The taller of the two men turns to face Dean. He has dirty blonde hair with chapped lips and a small pot belly. The other is shorter but lankier with a slight crookedness in his two front teeth. "Lucifer _Novak?_" Dean clarifies. The guy frowns.

"Have we met?" He asks happily.

Dean grinds his teeth, "Not directly," he says darkly, taking a much needed gulp of his whiskey.

Lucifer just raises his eyebrows, catching Dean's tone and not appreciating it.

"Perhaps he's a friend of one of our brother's," Michael mutters behind Lucifer, juts loud enough that Dean hears it. Dean's heart stops, they know Gabe and Cas are here, living in this town. _How did they know? _Dean thinks.

"What are you doing here?" He asks but the two men just smile.

"Visiting family," he says smugly.

"Family doesn't want you," Dean reminds him.

The smile on Lucifer's face broadens but Dean feels as if his will never return.

"Oh," Lucifer says, "you must know our brother, Gabriel."

Dean almost grunts, "That's funny," Dean says humourlessly, "I didn't know Gabriel _had_ brothers." Dean blurts out, hoping, naively, that they might not know Cas is here.

Lucifer smiles tightly but looks stumped, "We're related by marriage," Michael butts in to lie.

"Maybe it's time for a divorce," Dean snaps and he enjoys watching the smile disappear from his face. Lucifer stands from his stool, perhaps to look more intimidating. Dean watches Michael down his beer before turning on his seat so that he's peeking over Lucifer's shoulder.

"I'm not sure I like what you're insinuating," Lucifer says quietly.

"I'm not insinuating anything," Dean says calmly, "I'm merely stating outright that you shouldn't be, nor do you deserve to be, related to Gabriel Novak."

"And what would _you_ know?" Lucifer asks with a menacing glare.

Dean notices that Jo and Ellen are staring at the interaction.

"I don't know how you found Gabriel," Dean begins with a dark and deadly voice, "but I suggest you get in your car and drive as far away from here as possible."

"And Cas?" Lucifer prompts and the sound of his name in this monsters mouth makes Dean sick. Lucifer smiles at the sight of Dean's furious expression. "Did you think we'd forget about him?"

Dean purses his lips, unable to speak.

Lucifer smiles knowingly, "Cassie can hardly stand on his own two legs… if he's not with Gabriel, he's dead."

Dean can't help the way his body jerks at the sound of those words. His blood boils and his hand forms into an automatic fist.

Michael chuckles behind Lucifer, "I bet Cassie misses us… it's been a while since we've spent some quality time with the little queer."

The word sends a feeling through Dean like a poison is pumping through his veins, fuelling his hate. Dean doesn't give him a second chance before launching at Lucifer. Dean's fury causes his mind to go blank. All he can feel is bone hitting flesh and something hard hitting him repeatedly. He's pulled back by something that has both his arms. Next thing he knows, he hears the cocking of a gun. He looks up and sees Ellen holding the shotgun she keeps under the bar. Jo's grabbed the baseball bat and jumped onto a crate to make herself taller. Dean notices that all the regulars are out of their seats and staring at Lucifer and Michael, backing up their usual hostess.

"I think it's time you both left," Ellen says calmly.

Michael lets go of Dean and makes his way to the door.

"C'mon, Luc," he encourages. Lucifer eyes Dean as he leaves, his mouth bloody and swollen and his eye busted. "We've got somewhere to be."

They both disappear behind the door and Dean wipes his mouth, pulling away the back of his hand to reveal blood.

"Alright, trouble's out the door," Ellen announces to the regulars, "you can go back to drinkin'."

Ellen puts the shotgun back in place and moves out from the other side of the bar to confront Dean.

"What the bloody hell was that, boy?" Ellen asks, her hand inspecting Dean's face.

Dean shakes his head but he can't breathe, let alone speak.

"I have to go," Dean says, panic rising in him.

"Dean, no," Ellen insists, "you're not driving anywhere… Bobby can forgive me for giving you whiskey and letting you beat on with a couple of dicks but _not_ for letting you kill yourself drink-driving."

"Ellen… you don't understand… those guys…" Dean rambles but he can't explain it, he turns to Jo, hoping she'll understand, "it's to do with Cas!"

Jo's face is sympathetic, "Dean… you can't drive like this," she says and then she pauses like she's deliberating something, "I'll drive."

Jo hops the bar and drops her apron.

"Joanna Beth," Ellen warns, "you be careful."

Dean follows Jo out and hands over his keys, "You be careful with her," Dean warns.

Dean encourages Jo to speed all the way to Cas and Gabriel's. He practically bowls the door down when they get there.

"Dean?" Gabe asks, popping up from behind the couch, taking in the look of an erratic Dean and a slightly frightened Jo, "What the fuck?"

"Gabe," Dean breathes, "where's Cas?"

Gabe frowns, "Dean… what the fuck is going on? Cas doesn't want to speak to you."

Dean shakes his head, "No, Gabe… this isn't about me… where's Cas?"

"Why?"

Dean inhales deeply, "It's important that he not hear us."

"Dean?" Cas calls, emerging from his bedroom to see what the fuss is about.

"Cas, get upstairs," Gabe orders without looking at him.

"What? No," Cas refuses stubbornly, "what's going on?"

"Cas, get upstairs!" Gabriel yells, finally looking at his brother and unleashing the force of his dominating glare.

Cas looks frustrated and he spares one last glance in Dean's direction before trudging off to his bedroom, feeling like a child.

Gabriel returns his furious eyes on Dean, "Now, what the hell is this about?"

"Gabe…" Dean begins solemnly, "I ran into someone at the Roadhouse… well, two people."

Gabe just frowns, "Good for you Dean… did you come all the way here to tell me that?"

Dean rolls his eyes, "No, Gabe… Michael and Lucifer… they're in town."

The look on Gabe's face is of pure horror at the sound of his brother's names.

"What?" He asks, all colour drained from his face.

"They said that they were visiting family," Dean begins, "They said stuff about Cas and you… I don't remember, I was seeing red… but, they know you're here."

Gabe bites his lip, "Oh, fuck," he curses, "I… I can't let them near Cas… he can't know… he'll freak."

"It's okay, Gabe… they probably don't know your address, I mean… they were at the Roadhouse and they haven't tried to contact you yet."

"Unless… they were just waiting for someone who knew us to spill the beans," Gabriel says, looking straight at Dean.

"No," Dean denies, "Gabe, I would never…" he tries to explain.

"Or… they were looking for a trail to follow," Jo interrupts in an ominous voice and Dean looks over to notice her face is behind the curtain. His stomach drops. She looks back at Dean and it's written all over her face. Dean rushes over to quickly lock the door.

"Fuck… no," Gabe says, shaking his head.

There's a bang against the door, "Little brother, I'm home!"

"Fuck!" Gabe curses.

"Oh, God… Gabe… I didn't know," Dean explains but Gabriel isn't listening.

"Fuck," he says again, "Cas is gonna lose his mind."

"Gabriel… we can take them… you and me."

"I don't want Cas to even have to look at those two, Dean… if they lay one finger on him, I'm going to kill them," Gabe's eyes look straight into Dean's and his words come out like it's the most important thing he'll ever say, "Dean… if you let them inside, I swear to God… I _will_ kill them."

The knocking continues.

"Call the police," he tells Gabe before bolting up the stairs and into Cas' room. Cas is looking out the window.

"Cas?" Dean asks cautiously. Cas turns and he's so pale, he looks dead.

"Dean," he says in a terrified whisper, "am I dreaming?"

Dean feels his eyes well, "No," he says, "Cas… it's real."

"Oh God," Cas says and he looks like he's on the verge of a panic attack.

Dean catches Cas right before he faints. He fiercely clutches at Cas' face, trying to make his eyes focus on Dean's and, eventually, they do.

"Cas," Dean begins, "I'm not letting them hurt you, do you understand?"

Cas just sobs.

"Cas," Dean says again, begging him with his voice to believe him, "I _will _protect you."

Cas stares into Dean's eyes and just nods, allowing himself to be lulled.

"Just stay here," he insists, "whatever you hear… stay here… I'll take care of this."

Dean flinches at the sound of broken glass. He peers out the window to see Lucifer and Michael destroying his car with a crowbar.

Dean leaves Cas on his bedroom floor, in the fetal position as he heads down the stairs. Gabriel looks fuming, Jo, however, looks terrified.

"Did you call the police?" Dean asks and Gabe nods.

"They'll be here any minute," Jo explains and they hear another great _crash_ and Dean knows his baby's in pain but he's not thinking about the Impala.

If Cas is ever going to get peace of mind, Dean needs to get rid of his brother forever. He can't kill them, although he knows, deep down, that he would if it called for it. The police might catch them vandalising Dean's car but that won't get them put away. However, assault might do the trick. Dean breathes deeply as he forms a plan in his mind. He doesn't even have to second guess his decision. Whatever he needs to do to protect Cas, he has to do it.

He heads towards the door but Gabe stops him, "Dean, where are you going?"

Dean looks at Gabe with, what he hopes, is a convincing expression, "Gabe, stay here."

Gabe looks confused, "What? No," he says, "Dean, you'll get your ass kicked."

"That's the point," Dean explains and Gabriel looks horrified. "Just don't come out… whatever you see… _don't_ come out and lock the door behind me."

Dean storms off before Gabe can stop him.

The two stop at the sight of Dean. Michael jumps down from his post on the top of Dean's hood.

"Well… Well…" Lucifer begins, "if it isn't our friend from the bar… you know… we were hoping we could just follow you and finish what we started… we had no idea you'd lead us to our little Cassie's hideaway."

Dean stops dead, he must be joking.

"So," Dean prompts, hiding his shock, "Now you get to finish it."

Lucifer and Michael eye him cautiously, "I have to wonder why someone like you is throwing themselves in the midst of _our_ family feud…" Michael speaks, "why are _you_ so interested?"

"They're not _your_ family, anymore," Dean says, "you revoked that right when you beat the shit out of Cas."

Michael smiles, "My point exactly… why do _you_ care so much about our little Cassie?"

Dean smiles evilly, "Because he's _my_ Cas," Dean explains, "I'm his boyfriend." He grins proudly and Michael laughs.

Lucifer joins in, "You here that, Michael?" He asks, "We have another _fag_ on our hands."

Dean grins, "That's rich… coming from a guy named _Luc_," he points out and the smile disappears from Lucifer's mug.

"You should've run when you could," Lucifer says before advancing on Dean, Michael ghosting him. Lucifer takes the first swing. Dean's instincts kick in and he forgets that the purpose of this was to get his ass kicked. Dean bobs and sends an upper cut straight into Lucifer's chin. Michael's there to get Dean back and he feels his lip split as he gets an elbow straight in his face. Dean doesn't know where it comes from but he's hit again. And again. And again. He's throttled in the stomach and knocked on his ass. Dean rolls over to spit, seeing a splatter of blood on the pavement. Dean prays that the police get here soon or he fears he might die. His vision goes a little blurry as he cops another punch. His head swims and he knows that he's about to pass out. He feels a sharp pain against his temple and then… nothing.

"Dean?" A distant but familiar voice calls, "Dean?"

Dean opens his eyes to see a blurry shape. It slowly comes into focus until he sees the most beautiful face in the world, surrounded by bright lights.

"Crap," he curses and he sees Cas frown, "I'm dead, right?"

Cas smiles, "No, Dean," he insists. Dean's eyes adjust and he realises that he's lying in a hospital bed.

"Oh shit," he says and the previous events start to come back to him. "What happened?" He asks, inspecting Cas' face to see any signs that he might've failed, "Are you okay!?" Dean sits up too fast and gets a head rush.

"Dean, I'm fine," Cas insists, "everything's fine… you're a little worse for wear but you're fine."

"Lucifer and Michael?" Dean asks and Cas smirks.

"Turns out… the reason they never tried to find us before is because they've been in prison… they were put away a month after we left… some drug bust or something," Cas explains, "they just got out and came looking for us." Cas is grinning so wide and Dean knows he's not getting the whole story, "They were on parole and now have been busted for assault on one, Dean Winchester."

Dean feels a smile grace his lips, "Thank God," he says.

Cas shakes his head, "No," he clarifies, "thank you."

Despite the message, there's something in Cas' tone, it sounds like he's not entirely happy about it.

"What?" He asks.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" Cas yells unexpectedly, "You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"Cas… I was doing it to protect you!" He yells back defensively.

"Protect me?" Cas asks in outrage, "What about you? Do you have a death wish or something?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Dean snaps back.

"At your expense!" Cas yells, "You're such a halfwit!"

"I don't remember asking for your opinion!" Dean yells furiously, bitter that there isn't at least a _small_ amount of appreciation.

"If not for my opinion, then why?" Cas demands.

Dean flinches, "I promised I'd protect you! I'm not breaking that again."

"So you threw yourself under a bus?"

"I would gladly do it again," Dean responds, a little smugly, "and not for this overwhelming appreciation," he adds sarcastically.

"Dean," Cas says seriously, "If anything had of happened to you-,"

"You would've rejoiced, right?" Dean cuts him off.

"No, you dick, I would've been devastated," Cas snaps.

"What?" Dean asks, the weight of Cas' words resting on Dean's heart, "Then, why are you yelling at me?"

"Dean…" Cas begins in a purposely evened tone, "There isn't anything my brothers could've done to me that would have hurt more than anything happening to you."

"Cas…" Dean begins, unable to comprehend the full weight of Cas' words.

Cas sighs, "I have to yell," he explains, "because I don't know how to react," Cas admits, "Dean… what you did… I can't even… I don't… I just…" Cas sighs, "Fuck…"

"What?" Dean prompts eagerly.

"I _never_ thought it was possible for someone to care that much about me," Cas says, "I never thought someone like you existed… Dean, when I saw my brothers, I felt like I was going to die, I was so scared but then you show up and suddenly, I'm not scared anymore. I just knew you were going to protect me… I knew I was safe."

"Cas… what're you saying?" Dean asks, daring to let himself dream that Cas is saying what he thinks he's saying.

Cas sighs, "Dean," he says, closing his eyes, "the last few weeks have been… the… _worst_ of my life," he confesses, "most days I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling… I've never been in more pain."

Dean feels his stomach clench at the thought of his actions causing Cas pain, "Cas you haven't," Dean begins, trying to find a sign that will answer his question, "you know… hurt yourself… again?"

"No," Cas says, looking away, "I couldn't… not… not after I saw what it did to you."

Dean looks shocked, "After what it did to _me_?" He asks.

Cas nods, "I know that sounds stupid but…" Cas gives a casual shrug, "I would gladly move in with my brothers in their cell block if it means I'll never have to see you that destroyed again."

"What?" Dean whispers, unable to let himself believe what's coming out of Cas' mouth.

"Dean, the past few weeks have been hell because I've been without you," he confesses, "not because of what you did but because I've missed you so much that I couldn't feel anything else."

Dean feels his eyes well, "You still love me," he states plainly and he sees Cas' mouth pull into a half-smile.

"Of course I do," Cas responds, "I never stopped."

"Fuck, Cas," Dean whispers, his voice tainted with tears.

Cas just smiles back before leaning down to press his lips against Dean's.

Epilogue.

Two Weeks Later.

Cas tries his best to hide his overwhelming urges as Dean slides his hand into his back pocket and gives his behind a firm squeeze.

"Knock it off," Cas shoes him away playfully. Cas couldn't be happier that he has Dean again and that Dean's even flaunting their new relationship but he's still not used to public displays of affection. It doesn't stop them from groping each other at school but it still causes Cas to blush. The last two weeks has been enough time that their fellow students are at least somewhat used to their openly gay relationship. It's unfortunate that there are a still some people who will pull an uncomfortable face in their presence but Cas and Dean can ignore that. It could be worse, hell, they'd _have_ worse if everyone wasn't already scared of Dean.

The past two weeks have been like honeymooning in Disneyland. Dean and he had begun the process of sorting through their issues, well, all but one.

"You know what tomorrow is, right?" Dean asks and Cas purposely looks confused as the two walk hand in hand down the school's corridor. The day had finally finished.

"Saturday?" He asks, "I'm aware of the day, yes."

Dean shakes his head, "No, smartass… it's the fifteenth."

Cas continues to play dumb, "Which means…?" Cas unwillingly lets go of his boyfriend's hand when they stop at his locker. He fiddles with the door to collect his belongings for the weekend.

"Which means… it's been two weeks since I got out of hospital," Dean clarifies, hinting to Cas with his eyes.

Dean had only spent a few days in the hospital. He'd sustained some injuries but he didn't think them to be very serious. Some bumps and bruises, he's had worse. Just to be safe, the doctor had stressed no physical activity for two weeks. Dean had absolutely no intentions of listening to the advice but Cas had insisted they reframe from any 'physical activity', leaving Dean and Cas no other option than to wait. Dean doesn't know if Cas is considering his health or just wants to wait to make their first time back together special. Whatever the reason, it had nearly killed Dean. In the two weeks they've spent together, in their post-make up stage, they've been unable to lie together as man and, well, Dean. Dean has never done anything more difficult. What made it worse was that they'd become close so many times but Cas always pulled away. Now, however, the two weeks are up.

Cas closes his locker and turns to lean against it, purposefully crossing his arms, "Two weeks, really?" He clarifies, "I hadn't noticed."

"Cas,"Dean says seriously, getting tired of the game, "stop it."

"Stop what?" He asks innocently.

"You know what."

Cas shakes his head, "I don't think I do Dean… I can't remember what's special about tomorrow… it's not our anniversary is it?" Cas jokes.

Dean gives Cas his 'don't be an idiot face', "No, stupid… that's February the twelfth," Dean blurts out. Cas raises his eyebrows just as Dean cringes at himself. He looks to be in more shock at himself than Cas is. Dean knows their anniversary? Cas didn't even know they had one.

"The twelfth, huh?" Cas prompts and Dean doesn't answer, stricken with embarrassment, "Why the twelfth?" Cas asks, unable to remember what special event he's earmarking for their 'anniversary'.

Dean rolls his eyes, "The… uhh… night I was drunk and you came over…" Dean admits begrudgingly.

Cas nods, "The first time we… had relations," he acknowledges, "it seems appropriate."

"It's not because of that," Dean corrects quickly. Cas frowns. "That was the first time you said you loved me," Dean admits.

Cas smiles as he reminisces, "If I recall correctly – you said it first," he smirks.

Dean just smiles wider, "All the more reason to have the twelfth as our anniversary."

Cas bites his lip, trying to hide the overwhelming surge of love he feels, "The twelfth of February," he repeats, trying to commit it to memory, "That's kind of close to Valentine's day, isn't it?" He asks, "Boy… that's gonna be a lot of sex for three days." Dean blushes but smiles. "But… if tomorrow's not our anniversary…" Cas continues.

"Cas," Dean says in a frustrated voice that only makes Cas laugh, "It's the first time we can do it since my…. Accident."

Cas stifles a laugh, "I know Dean… I've been counting down the hours."

Dean rolls his eyes, "Well… I was thinking… if you wanted to come over or we can go to dinner and I'll… uhh… light some candles."

Cas smiles, "Dean, honey… we're gay, we're not women," he repeats the joke and Dean playfully pinches him.

"Well… Bobby and Sam have promised to vacate but we can get a nice hotel if you want." _Bobby_, Dean thinks. The conversation he'd had with Bobby would have been hilarious to a third party observer. To Dean, however, it was just painful. He'd tried to confess to Bobby subtly so that he wouldn't have to outright say it but Bobby had been thick as a brick. Eventually, Dean ended up telling him that Cas was his 'special friend' and he'll probably be around the house a lot… even stay in Dean's bedroom. It was at this point that Bobby finally understood at which he said: "Oh…" paused to clear his throat, "what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business, boy." Dean had just smiled and said thank you but, before he turned to leave, he swore he heard Bobby mutter under his breath: "I'll love ya no matter what… ya idjit."

Cas caresses Dean's face in his hands, forcing their eyes to meet, "Dean," he begins, "it's been over a month since we've been together… when I see you tomorrow… I am _going_ to fuck your brains out."

Dean's hands find Cas' hips and he grins seductively, "I love it when you talk dirty," he muses as Cas presses their lips together, careful to keep their kiss chaste due to their public surroundings.

"Get a room," a voice calls playfully from behind and the two boys break away to see Jo skip up to them and she's closely followed by Ash.

"Gladly," Dean grins, earning him a playfully elbow in the ribs from Cas.

Jo raises her eyebrows, "Will we see you two later?"

The two answer simultaneously.

"Yes," Dean agrees.

"No," Cas refuses and everyone turns to frown at him. He smirks, "I have to rest up," he explains, coyly giving Dean a sideways glance, "I have a big day tomorrow… lots of… physically activity."

Dean tries to hide his smile.

Jo makes a noise in the back of her throat and puts her hand up like she's reflecting Cas' words, "I don't want to hear about your crazy sex life," she complains and they all laugh. Cas realises he's not as subtle as he thinks he is.

"I guess we'll see you tonight, Dean," Jo continues, "Cas… Catch you later."

Jo walks away and Ash points his finger like a gun, makes a clinking sound and pretends to cock it as a goodbye gesture. Cas and Dean watch them leave.

"You know they're having relations," Cas blurts out.

"What?" Dean snaps, staring at Cas with his eyes wide like he can't believe what just came out of his mouth. "How do you know?"

Cas just frowns at Dean, "It's obvious, isn't it?" He asks.

"Is it?" Dean asks, his voice sounding high and squeaky.

Cas rolls his eyes, "Dean… they're practically always together," he explains, "when was the last time you saw either of them with someone?"

Dean frowns, come to think of it, Ash had stopped bragging to Dean about chicks he's banged a _long_ time ago.

"Huh," is all he says. "I guess that explains it."

"Explains what?" Cas asks curiously.

Dean smiles smugly, "Why Jo and I have been friends for years and she's never been interested in me… I mean, if she's not interested in someone else and she's not gay… she'd have to be crazy."

"You think you're so cute," Cas glares playfully.

Dean smiles, "I'm adorable."

Cas rolls his eyes but pulls his boyfriend along by the hand, "C'mon… you can take me home."

Cas spent all night last night rolling around in his bed. He truly wanted to rest for today but he'd been far too excited to sleep. He'd been thinking about this moment.

Gabe pulls up at Dean's place, wishes his brother good luck before Cas jumps out, his duffel bag packed and ready for his night at Dean's.

Cas makes his way to the front door and knocks timidly, afraid of how he's going to act. Dean opens the door and Cas' mouth almost drops. He's wearing nothing but a pair of sweats. The strange, gold amulet that Dean wears around his neck sits comfortably on his sternum, between his tan, firm, smooth pectorals. Cas' eyes wander down Dean's stomach, following the perfectly paved lines in his muscles, defining his hard, shapely abs. Dean's pants sit so low on his hips that Cas can see his subtle tan line. In fact, they are so low, he can see a small mess of stubble peeking over, just above the hem, in the middle of Dean's hips. Cas considers it one of the sexiest things he's possibly ever seen. He smiles to himself, wondering when it was that Dean shaved. Finally, Cas' eyes make it back to Dean's face and he's wearing that irresistible half smile and his beautiful, green eyes are lit up like Christmas trees.

"Hey Beautiful," Dean greets and Cas could scoff. How can Dean call _him_ beautiful when he stands, looking impossibly picturesque.

"Hey," Cas responds, unable to make his voice come out louder than a whisper.

Dean stares at Cas, as if looking at him for the first time. His beautiful, pink, plump lips that always look slightly puckered, no matter what Cas is doing, are slightly turned up in a gentle half-smile. His hair is dark and dishevelled, like he's just rolled out of bed, like always. His eyes fall to the duffle bag, hanging off Cas' shoulder and Dean smiles to himself. It's the first time they've ever had an official boyfriend/boyfriend sleepover. Not that he imagines Cas will spend much time wearing clothes tonight.

"Come in," Dean offers, gesturing inside quickly.

Cas hurries inside, his stomach feeling queasy. He doesn't know why he's so nervous, they've done this before. Dean closes the door, flicks the lock and turns around to face Cas. The two smile shyly for a moment.

"I'll… uhh… take that," Dean offers, his hand outstretched for Cas' duffel bag.

Cas smiles and resists the urge to roll his eyes, "I'll go put it in your room," he insists, turning to head for the stairs.

"I'll come with you," Dean says quickly, following Cas towards the stairs. Cas almost laughs and then he does actually chuckle when Dean insists that they hold hands for the walk up the stairs.

Cas opens the door to Dean's room and steps inside. He can't help the huge grin that graces his lips. Dean's cleaned his room so that it's practically spotless. The bed is clean and made and he's placed three candles on his bedside table and they're already lit.

Cas turns to look at Dean, who's wearing shy smile and looking at his feet.

"Dean Winchester," Cas begins, "you've got to be the cutest thing I've ever seen."

Dean looks up, smiles, shrugs and removes Cas' duffle bag to place against the far wall, "It's not just for chicks," he mutters in the process.

"So…" Dean begins, turning around to face Cas and putting his hands in his pockets, pulling his sweats down even lower on his hips, the actions doesn't go unnoticed. Dean awkwardly steps forward, trying to subtly inch his way closer to Cas, "What would you like to do?" He asks.

Cas smiles wickedly, "Well, I guess we could watch some TV," he suggests. Dean tries to hide the fall in his expression.

He nods, "Sounds good," he lies.

Cas rolls his eyes and takes the necessary steps to shorten the distance between himself and Dean, "Dean," he says, catching his lover's attention, "you're shirtless," he observes, "My pants have been uncomfortably tight since you opened the door."

Cas enjoys Dean's grin before caressing his face and bringing their lips together. Dean sighs involuntarily at the contact, the feel of Cas' plump, soft lips. Dean parts his mouth and slips the tip of his tongue against Cas' top lip. Cas parts his mouth to allow his lover access, gently moving his tongue against Dean's. Dean softly moves his lips and tongue, feeling the unusual coolness of Cas' mouth, revelling in the sensual taste.

Dean's hands find Cas' hips and he tenderly presses his thumbs against those perfect hipbones. Dean gently squeezes before pulling Cas against himself, forcing the feel of Cas' hardness against his own. A deep, lustful groan escapes Dean.

Cas seizes Dean's bottom lip between his teeth, he tugs and sucks it gently until he feels Dean's nails dig into his side in a frustrated gesture. Cas traces Dean's jawline with his lips until he reaches his ear and nibbles at the lobe. He feels Dean's hands stray from his hips and slip under his shirt to run over his bare back. Cas' nose glides down Dean's neck, tickling him. Cas purses his lips against Dean's throat, feeling his rapid pulse against his mouth. Cas parts his lips to kiss and suck at Dean's neck, occasionally allowing his teeth to bite gently. The kiss deepens and grows fiercer and Dean's body responds against his will. He groans against his lover's ear and drags his nails against Cas' smooth, alabaster back. Cas' hands glide down to Dean's firm, smooth biceps as he presses himself even closer into the warm, hard body against him.

Cas, overcome with desire, guides his mouth back to Dean's and leads him towards his bed. Cas pushes against Dean gently, breaking their lips to force him to lie down. Cas quickly straddles Dean's hips and hovers over his body to press their lips together again. Dean's hands latch onto Cas' shirt and practically tears it from his torso.

Cas runs his hands up Dean's stomach and over his chest, caressing every inch of Dean he can. He breaks their kiss to return his lips to Dean's throat and slowly leaves a trail of kisses down his lover's chest, lingering on his delectably hardened and sensitive nipples. Dean sighs softly as Cas continues to pave a path down Dean's stomach and to the hem of his pants. Dean reaches down to Cas to run his fingers through his hair. Cas' fingers latch onto the edge of Dean's pants, eager to reveal the hard on underneath.

Before Cas can liberate Dean and finally taste him again, his chin is seized and directed up, forcing his eyes onto Dean's. Dean smiles down at his lover and shakes his head.

Cas' eyebrows form a perfectly delightful crease. His big, blue eyes look at Dean like a curious doe. "Dean?" He asks curiously.

Dean's thumb traces Cas' plump, bottom lip, "Not that," he says but Cas' crease only deepens.

"Why?" He asks and Dean can hear the insecurity in his voice but his fingers still retract from Dean's pants.

Dean smiles warmly, "Because I haven't been with you in over a month," he explains softly, "and I don't want it like this…"

Cas continues to frown, self-conscious that he's doing something wrong, "How do you want it?" He asks.

Dean moves off the bed to kneel in front of Cas. He gently grazes Cas' cheek with his thumb.

"I want to make love to you," Dean says and pulls Cas in for a sweet, intimate kiss. He catches an amused grin on Cas' face before their lips meet.

Cas tries to break away, "I've really turned you into a sissy, haven't I?" Cas jokes but really, Dean's words sent his stomach into a frenzy of heated emotions.

"Shut up," Dean retorts before pulling Cas in again and crushing their lips together, feeling Cas' smile against his own. Dean's fingers lock into Cas' hair, tugging lightly and pressing their bare torsos together.

Dean's hands slip from Cas' hair and attentively trail down his stomach until they reach his belt buckle. He undoes Cas' pants and slides them down his thighs. Dean smiles to himself as he instantly feels the absence of Cas' briefs. His groin twitches appreciatively.

Dean breaks the kiss to turn Cas roughly. Dean hooks his arm around Cas' stomach to press himself against his lover's backside. An abrupt and shameless moan escapes Cas as he's suddenly confronted with the feeling of Dean's manhood against his rear.

Dean drags his lip against the back of Cas' neck and nibbles at the flesh of his shoulder blade. Cas exhales a lustful breath. Dean slides his hand down Cas' stomach to his rock hard member.

Dean tongues Cas' ear, playfully seizing it between his teeth, "God," he breathes, "I've missed this."

"Dean…" Cas begs, "I need you."

Dean smiles against his lover's back and reaches into his pocket to seize the little, plastic bottle he stored there earlier. Dean keeps one hand on Cas' hardness, slowly jerking his wrist in an expert motion and uses the other to lubricate two fingers. He places the tip of his finger at Cas' entrance and begins circling it.

Cas' breath quickens and, every now and then, he lets out a soft moan.

"You like that, baby?" Dean sings and Cas moans in response.

"Dean…" Cas says, in a voice caught between a plead and a warning. Dean chuckles against his lover's ear and slips his finger inside the boy's entrance. Cas gasps as Dean starts to slide his digit in and out, slowly increasing his speed. When Dean feels Cas relax around him, he slips a second finger inside him and matches the speed of his other hand.

Dean brushes against the sweet spot, causing Cas to expel a quivering gasp.

"God," Dean whispers, Cas' sounds causing his member to throb painfully, "Cas, I need you now," he says feverishly. Dean removes his fingers, reaches into his own pants and unleashes his member. He desperately lubricates and fastens one hand around Cas' hips and settles the other at the base of his erection. He feels Cas' hands grasp his thighs so that he's practically hovering over Dean's lap. Dean doesn't need a bigger signal than that and he slowly guides Cas down, thrusting up at the same time as he gently eases into his lover. Cas softly groans and he involuntarily tightens his grip on Dean's thighs. The feel of Cas' warm, tight entrance around his hardness almost sends Dean over the edge then and there. He knows he'll have to work hard to keep himself from losing control. Cas revels in the glory of being filled by Dean once again. He feels the familiar, painful sting of being stretched but it's been so long that it's worse than he remembers. There's something wonderful about the pain that Cas can't quite put his finger on. Cas needs more time than usual to adjust but Dean's hard member is pressing up against his sweet spot, creating the most frustrating tease. Cas needs friction. He almost sighs when he feels his body finally relax and the pain subside.

Cas slowly eases off Dean, using his lover's thighs as leverage. When Cas feels nothing but the tip, he slams back down into Dean's lap, letting a blissful moan escape his lips. Dean cries out in pleasure as Cas moves up and back down again. Dean runs his hands all over Cas' torso, lightly tweaking his nipples as Cas continues to ride him. His lips kiss and nip at Cas' flesh as he begins slightly plunging up to meet Cas' downward thrusts.

"Oh God," Cas whispers, quickening his pace, desperate for some much needed relief. Dean's hand wraps firmly around Cas' member and starts working him. Too soon, Cas feels himself start to build, his senses overwhelmed with pleasure.

Dean feels himself build but he doesn't want it to end, not just yet. Dean releases Cas and roughly grasps his hips to cease the movement.

"Cas, stop," Dean pleads and Cas responds with a whine but he stops, nonetheless. "I'm gonna come," Dean pants.

Cas leans against Dean, his chest heaving rapidly, "That's the idea," he breathes and Dean smiles against his lover's shoulder.

"No," Dean disagrees, "I want to watch you… turn around."

Cas begrudgingly eases off Dean, almost whimpering at the loss of pressure. He turns to lie down on his back, his eyes finding Dean's lust filled green ones and he's wearing an irresistible half smile. Dean's fingers latch onto the pants around Cas' knees and removes them so that Cas is laying on his floor, completely naked. Dean completely removes his own pants before settling himself between Cas' legs, their eye contact never breaking. Dean hitches up Cas' legs so that his knees are pressed up against his chest.

"Hold your knees," Dean commands and Cas follows the directions and wraps his arms around the back of his bent knees so that he's hugging his legs. Dean rests his hands on the back of Cas' thighs. "Stop me if I hurt you, baby," Dean urges. Cas nods but he can't imagine ever telling Dean to stop, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Dean leans all his bodyweight onto his hands, onto Cas, so that he almost looks like he's about to do a push up.

Dean lowers himself into Cas with ease. He starts thrusting into Cas eagerly and, as he does so, he rolls his hips. Cas doesn't know what it is but something about the way Dean's thrusting sends him over the edge, like the roll in his hips is causing him to hit all the right places. Cas moans louder than Dean's ever heard and it's almost like a whimper.

"Cas?" Dean asks, slowing his rhythm for fear he's hurt his lover.

"Don't you dare stop," Cas cries, groaning loudly again. Dean doesn't need more encouragement and begins pounding into Cas once more, provoking a groan every time he rolls his hips just right. Dean feels himself build again, his hardness twitching appreciatively every time Cas makes those beautiful noises. Dean's _never_ made Cas scream like this before.

Cas' leg feels like it could cramp at any moment but he couldn't stop if his life depended on it. The pleasure is almost unbearable with Dean hitting all the right places.

"Cas," Dean groans, "you keep making those noises and you're gonna make me come."

"Oh, God," Cas breathes, letting Dean hold his leg in place so that he can reach down and grasp his rock hard member. "Dean… harder…" Cas pleads and Dean eagerly delivers, pounding into his lover even harder. He builds quickly, fearing that he'll blow too soon.

"Cas… God you feel good," Dean moans.

"Dean…" Cas breathes, feeling himself on the edge. "I'm gonna…"

"Me too baby…" Dean whispers and pounds more fiercely than before, causing Cas to cry out. Cas lets go of his leg to reach up to clutch Dean's hair. He roughly pulls Dean down to crush their lips together as Dean loses control and explodes into Cas, sending him over the edge in his own, mind-blowing climax.

Dean and Cas pant hard and deepen their kiss as they both come down. Dean leans his whole body against Cas as they kiss deeply, moaning at the sweet taste and intimate feel.

Eventually, they break away and Dean looks into Cas' big, beautiful eyes. He grazes his lover's cheek with his thumb intimately.

"I love you, Castiel Novak," Dean whispers powerfully, "I love you more than anything."

A small smile graces Cas' lips, "I love you too, Dean Winchester," he says soulfully.

Dean brushes his fingers through Cas' hair adoringly and moves to press his lips against the scar on Cas' chest tentatively. He drags his lips over his lover's skin, pursing his lips against another scar. Dean rubs the back of Cas' hand and brings it up to his face and leans into it, inhaling the scent. Dean's eyes find Cas' wrist and he lovingly places his lips against the one, most recent scar that sticks out above the rest. The one Dean caused. Cas watches as Dean's lips linger on his scar and he creases his brow and shuts his eyes, as if in pain.

"Dean?" Cas asks curiously.

Dean opens his eyes to look to his lover and Cas can see that his eyes have filled with water. Dean refuses to allow Cas' hand to leave his face.

"You're everything to me, Cas," Dean mumbles softly, "you're my whole world now… every second I'm without you, I'm thinking of you… I want you… forever."

Cas grazes Dean's face adoringly, "You have me Dean."

"Can you promise me forever?" He asks and Cas sees that twinkle in his eye. That twinkle that only Cas sees, the one that shows Dean's vulnerability, a vulnerability he does everything he can to hide from the rest of the world.

"I guarantee forever," Cas replies.

He brings Dean towards him and seals his guarantee with a sweet, chaste kiss.

The End.

Thanks for the encouragement throughout this story, I hope you guys liked it.


	12. Epilogue PART TWO

Epilogue part 2

So, some people pointed out that there were some loose ends to tie up and I decided to write an extra part of the epilogue because I would hate to disappoint any lovely people. That, and any excuse to write some smut, but this is the last thing I post. And I apologise in advance, for being a sap… I got a little carried away.

Cas lets the water run over his hand until it warms up enough for him to get in. He jumps in, eager to warm his naked flesh. He only has a few moments of privacy before he hears the bathroom door open. He prays to God that it's Dean barging in and not Sam, thinking it's just Dean showering. It'd happened once before and, to make matters worse, it'd been one of the times that Dean was in there with him.

Dean and Cas had been indisposed to say the least. Cas remembers having Dean's hands covering the back of his and having them pinned against the wet, shower wall. Cas was allowed to moan softly as Dean pounded into the back of him, the shower muffling his noises. Well, until Sam walked in.

"Hey, Dean," he said, in a tone to excuse himself, Dean's hand immediately slid over Cas' mouth, "I can't find my deodorant, do you have some?"

"Yeah, go ahead... it's in the cabinet." Dean admitted, his voice loud and rough in Cas' ear. Cas felt his heart beat fast, just praying that Sam would leave without him slipping up, he just concentrated on breathing evenly. It was going to be fine until Cas felt a sensual kiss placed on the back of his neck and he knew he was in trouble. Dean began slowly pumping in and out of Cas. The thin shower curtain was all they had to keep Sam from seeing the full frontal show!

Cas tried to give Dean every silent warning he could think of but it didn't help. He could hear Sam rummaging through the toiletries.

"I can't find it!" Sam complained.

"It's in there!" Dean responded with a practiced, even voice, "Green can!"

Sam continued to rummage as Cas endured the pleasure without making a sound. And then, Dean had to go and roll his hips in that special way he does and ruin everything. He perfectly hit Cas' sweet spot and Cas couldn't help the cry that escaped him. With Dean's hand over his mouth, it was muffled but still audible. Cas prayed that the sound of the shower had muted it for Sam's ears. Cas considered it okay when Sam continued to rummage, like nothing had happened.

"Dean, I don't think it's in here," Sam repeated.

"Alright, try my room," Dean suggested.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "I'll leave you two alone, now." Cas' stomach dropped as he heard Sam's retreating footsteps and, just as he opened the bathroom door to leave, he added, "Good morning, Castiel."

Cas hastily removed his muzzle, "Good Morning, Sam," he responded, his voice a tad higher than he wanted. Sam shut the bathroom door and Dean erupted in chuckles.

"That was _not_ funny," Cas complained but Dean still laughed and guided Cas back into their previous position.

"That was priceless," Dean commented and he nibbled at Cas' neck and waited for a delighted moan to signal that he was forgiven before continuing.

But today, luckily, he hears the familiar heavy shuffle that he recognises to be Dean's footsteps. Sam's much lighter on his feet, despite his enormous physique.

"I hope you're not using all the hot water in there," Dean says and Cas hears him fumble through the cabinet.

"If you're that concerned, by all means, join me… we can save water," Cas retorts and he enjoys the hearty chuckle he receives.

"If you make me late for work again, Bobby will have my ass," Dean responds.

Cas smiles to himself. He'd pulled a similar trick last Saturday when Dean had to go work for Bobby at the garage. Dean had refused him, which Cas didn't take too kindly to. While Dean had been shaving, Cas started to jerk himself off, not quietly, either.

"Cas," Dean had begun curiously, "what are you doing in there?"

Cas let out another obvious moan, "What do you think, Dean?" He'd asked, "I'm touching myself and picturing me fucking you."

"Cas," Dean said seriously and Cas heard the sound of him thump the counter in frustration, "That is _not_ fair!"

Cas laughed, "I don't know what you're talking about, Dean."

Then, all he heard was a frustrated grunt, some shuffling around and, next thing he knew, Dean was in the shower with him.

"You're a real prick for this," he complained but he'd let Cas rough him up and have his way with him, anyway. Cas had gotten in even more trouble when Dean had gotten to work half an hour late and Bobby had left when Dean had started shaving, telling him he'd leave straight after. It wasn't hard for Bobby to put the pieces together.

But, lucky for Dean, Cas is too considerate to play with him today.

Cas flavours his tone with a pout, "Fine," he says unhappily. He senses an eye roll from behind the curtain. "Then you don't get mine," he adds and Dean responds with a delightful laugh.

Cas dips his head underwater and starts washing his hair.

"What time will you be back?" Cas asks.

"Eleven," Dean responds with his mouth full and Cas can tell that he's brushing his teeth. "Bobby says he only needs me for a few hours." Dean spits into the sink, "Are you alright to hang out until then?"

"Certainly," Cas says quickly. "I'll just go through your belongings while you're gone," he jokes.

Dean chuckles, "Just don't look under my bed…" he warns, his tone light, "there's some magazines there you might find distasteful."

"Let me guess, you only read them for the articles?" Cas asks smartly.

"No, I definitely read them for the nudes," Dean quips.

Cas rolls his eyes, "Busty Asian Beauties?" He asks, his tone a little disapproving.

Dean spits into the sink, "And one copy of Macho Erotica magazine," Dean mutters under his breath.

"What!?" Cas bursts out laughing, "Really?"

Dean blushes, "It was when we first started hanging out," he justifies, "I was just seeing if-,"

"If you were really gay?" Cas asks, humour still obvious in his voice. "How'd that go for you?"

Dean spits and then coughs, "Yeah… it's, uhh, just you," he clarifies, "other men… other _people _don't seem to do it for me."

Cas beams to himself, "I see," is all he says, "that's very cute."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean dismisses, his mouth full once more. Cas hears him spit into the sink again and then wash his toothbrush under the tap. "Okay, I gotta go," Dean continues, "kiss," he insists and Cas pokes his head around the shower curtain to deliver. Dean smiles before caressing Cas' chin to guide him towards his own lips. He lingers longer than necessary for the kiss to be considered chaste. Dean pulls back to smile at his dripping wet boyfriend.

"God, you look good wet," he whispers.

Cas smiles widely, "So do you," he reminds him, biting his lip to show Dean his impure thoughts.

Dean rolls his eyes and gives him another quick kiss, "We still on for dinner tonight?" Dean asks.

"Of course," Cas agrees.

Dean grins in satisfaction, "Love you," he says, clipping Cas' chin before letting his hand drop.

"Love you too," Cas smiles and watches Dean dry his hand on a towel before disappearing behind the bathroom door. Cas continues to smile to himself, he'll never be able to get used to being with Dean. Their relationship was starting to look quite domestic and Cas can see himself getting used to it. It'd only been two months or so since they'd gotten back together but it felt like longer, in the good way. Dean and Cas can barely keep their hands off each other, still, but they've become a couple. They'd only had one fight in that time and it wasn't even much of a fight.

Cas and Dean were having lunch at school with their friends. Since they 'came out' their groups had merged. It was now Anna, Jo, Ash, Charlie, Garth, Dean and Cas. Cas knew that Anna had mixed feelings about Cas and Dean's reconciliation but she'd been supportive, nonetheless. They'd been happily having lunch when Meg and Ruby had come by. Meg had made some sarcastic comment about us looking like a happy family. It was nothing, but it started something.

"Bite me, Meg," Dean snapped.

She merely smiled sweetly, "Oh, I'll leave that to your little lap dog," she said, turning to Cas, "apparently there's nothing you can do to get rid of _him_."

Dean opened his mouth to retort and defend Cas but Cas beat him to it.

"Well, certainly not a few lies told by some jealous harpy," he snapped. Meg pulled a vile face before leaving.

Dean just frowned; he knew Cas wasn't talking about Meg revealing him at Ash's, that had been true, "What lies?" He asked.

Cas tried to shrug it off, "It's nothing."

"Cas," Dean warned, knowing all too well when his boyfriend is trying to hide something.

Cas rolled his eyes, "After we broke up, Meg came to me and said she wanted to offer me closure and that only she knew how you went about fulfilling the bet." Dean raised his eyebrows and Cas continued, "I foolishly told her to tell me."

"And what did she say?" Dean prompted; Cas could already sense anger boiling in him.

"Dean, forget it," Cas dismissed, "it doesn't change anything."

"Cas! What did she tell you?" Dean asked. Cas looked around the group, everyone had grown uncomfortable and were trying to focus on their lunch but surely listening to their argument.

Cas sighed, "She told me that you told her every little detail, she paid you and then you paid her back to keep her mouth shut."

Cas waited for Dean's face to change from blank to anything.

"What?!" He cried, outraged, "That bitch!" Dean stood up as if to do something about it but Cas forced him to sit down again.

"Dean, stop!" Cas cried.

"Cas… you know that's not true, right?" Dean asked desperately.

Cas looked taken aback, "Dean, of course… I knew it the same moment I knew I could be with you again. You didn't lie when you said you'd protect me… I _thought_ she might've been telling the truth at first but when the Lucifer and Michael stuff happened, I knew she'd been lying because I knew you would've told me the truth."

"Cas… why didn't you tell me?" Dean pleaded. Cas just shrugged.

"Because it didn't matter," Cas explained, "It'd just make you mad."

"Still, I have a right to explain myself… you should've told me."

"Dean… you didn't need to explain yourself…"

"I would've liked the option," Dean defends.

"Well, too bad." Cas dismissed, deciding that this is one of those times he can be stubborn without reason.

"Cas… why are you fighting me on this? You should've told me."

"No," He refused.

"Why?" Dean demanded, his anger now turning on Cas.

"Because I didn't want you to think that I _needed_ an explanation," Cas snapped seriously, "I wanted to prove that I trust you… and I do."

Dean's face softened and Cas knew he was forgiven. Cas caught a glimpse of Meg watching them out of the corner of his eye.

"Cas…" Dean said shyly, unable to keep his smile at bay.

Cas smiled back, "Now, kiss me so that _she's_ not satisfied," he said and Dean eagerly grasped Cas' hair in his fingers and yanked their lips together.

Apart from Meg and her venom, the two of them had been perfect. Cas sometimes worries that he spends too much time at Dean's, but the guy's always so persistent that Cas can't say no, and he never wants to. They'd grown quite accustom to their little routines. Cas started to feel like a mother, he'd cook homemade meals for the boys which, for the Winchesters and Bobby Singer, was a big deal. Cas wonders if they ever cooked their own food that didn't come from a can. Dean, Sam and he would go to and from school together and every Saturday, Cas packed Dean and Bobby a lunch for work.

Hell, Cas was starting to hang out at the house when Dean wasn't there, that kind of behaviour was becoming normal.

Cas realizes he's spent almost half an hour in the shower, reminiscing and now he really has probably just used all the hot water. He reminds himself to apologise to Sam. Cas gets out, dries himself and heads into Dean's bedroom. He rummages through Dean's closest and finds a clean pair of briefs and pulls them on. They're either his or Dean's, he doesn't even check anymore. Cas does Dean's washing anyway. He finds a pair of his jeans, Dean's are too big for him, and pulls on a random t-shirt. He knows it's Dean's because it's black. He carelessly rubs his head all over with a towel, trying to dry his hair but not doing a very good job.

Cas decides to head down to the living room and, as he reaches the top of the stairs, Sam meets him at the bottom.

"Any hot water, Cas?" Sam asks.

"There was but I'm sorry if you run out," Cas apologises and Sam makes a face like 'don't be ridiculous'. After living with Dean all his life, Cas' politeness is just plain weird.

"I only need it for five minutes," Sam explains before passing Cas and heading to the bathroom. Cas runs down the stairs and clears the table from breakfast. Then he heads into the living room to watch a movie.

It's only ten minutes later that Sam comes charging through the house, mumbling something about heading to the library and then heading out the door.

Cas watches a movie and a half before pausing the DVD to do a load of washing. It's the least he can do since Bobby has been so gracious to allow him to stay over as often as he wishes. It's eleven thirty when Dean gets home.

"Hey Baby," Dean greets. He throws his keys on the kitchen table and slings his jacket over one of the chairs. Dean's got grease on his face and hands.

"How was work?" Cas asks, packing away the air-dried dishes.

"Fine," Dean answers, "I just did some odd jobs, Bobby's got everything else under control for the rest of the day." Dean pauses to eye Cas suspiciously, "Cas… how much cleaning have you done today?"

Cas shrugs, puts the last dish on the rack and reaches for the hand towel, "Just a load of washing and the breakfast dishes."

Dean rolls his eyes, "I can't leave you alone for one second," he says and walks around the table to pull Cas close to him by the waist.

Cas crosses his arms, "And let that be a lesson to you," he smiles and Dean pulls him in for a kiss. Cas pulls away at the strong stench of Dean. "Argh, Dean, you need a shower."

Dean fakes offense, "Are you saying I smell?"

Cas continues to scrunch his nose, "Yes," he says bluntly.

Dean chuckles, "Fine, I'll jump in the shower," Dean stops to raise his eyebrows, "Join me?"

Cas smirks, "I already showered today and _you_ didn't join me," he reminds him.

Dean rolls his eyes and breaks away from Cas to make his way to the bathroom, "Fine, be a party pooper… Is Sammy home?"

"He went to the library," Cas tells him.

Dean grins wickedly and stops at the bottom of the stairs to look back, "House to ourselves?" He clarifies.

Cas smiles back, "Maybe," he says.

"Oh… We are _so_ gonna do it on the kitchen table when I get back," Dean says conclusively before rushing up the stairs to shower.

Cas rolls his eyes, "Do you want some lunch?" He calls up to Dean.

"Cas… you literally are the perfect boyfriend," is all Dean says and then Cas hears the bathroom door shut and the shower turn on.

_I guess that means yes,_ Cas thinks to himself before turning to the fridge. He pulls out the necessary ingredients and makes two sandwiches. He sets out a beer for Dean and pours himself a glass of water. Cas eats while he waits for Dean. He finishes his food and washes his dish before Dean makes his way into the kitchen. Cas takes in the beautiful image of Dean in his sweat pants. His bare, tan skin is still speckled with water droplets and his hair is soaking and sticking to his forehead.

"Thanks baby," Dean begins, "you're the greatest."

Dean eats his lunch and, when he's finished, he sits back in his chair and sips his beer. Immediately, Cas clears the table. He feels Dean frown at his back as he washes the dish.

"What?" Cas asks.

Dean answers, unquestioning the fact that Cas could sense that he was looking at him.

"Are you gonna be this anal when we're living together?" Dean asks.

Cas chuckles immaturely and turns around to lean against the bench, "Dean, did you just make a gay pun?"

Dean rolls his eyes, "You know what I mean."

Cas smiles, "Do I not cook for you and clean up after you?"

"Yes," Dean says begrudgingly.

"Then you should count yourself lucky if I should choose to live with you," Cas grins smugly.

A small smile graces Dean's lips. He stands and walks towards Cas, placing his empty beer on the bench next to him. His hands find his hips and he presses himself against his boyfriend.

"I count myself lucky each and every day," Dean says before pressing his lips against Cas' smile.

"You're cute," Cas says in between kisses, "when you want to be."

Dean chuckles, "I'm adorable."

Cas shuts Dean up with another kiss, parting his lips to deepen it. He wraps his hands around Dean's hips and pulls him against him.

"I… think… a promise… was made…" Cas says between kisses, "in relevance… to the… kitchen table."

Dean pulls back to grin and looks Cas up and down with his eyes, "Yes, I remember," he says in a sultry voice.

Dean strips Cas down to his briefs, bends him over the kitchen table and proceeds to give him the roughest, most animalistic sex of his life. Something about Dean working with his hands makes him a little crazy. He practically pins Cas down, holding him by the neck as he drives into him as hard and rough as he can. There's nothing Cas can do but hold onto the table for dear life and pray that Dean doesn't stop. It's as if the rougher he gets it, the rougher he wants it.

"Ah, fuck," Cas curses, "harder, Dean," Cas doubts his body's ability to take much more brutalisation but he's unable to stop himself. Cas bangs his fist on the table as he groans loudly, his pleasure on the verge of pain. "Oh, God, harder," he begs.

Dean growls and digs his nails into Cas' flesh in an attempt to hang on tighter. He gives a quick, rough kick against Cas' leg to further spread his legs. Cas makes a startled noise and then a loud, appreciative moan at the new found pleasure Dean's actions have created.

Dean leans over to bite at Cas' neck and grip his hair to use as more leverage. The table moves but Dean moves with it, desperate not to stop for a second. Cas almost shudders at the multiple, overwhelming sensations. Dean grips his hand around the back of Cas' and pins it to the table, holding him in place. All Cas can hear is Dean's rough, rapid breath in his ear, it's almost a feral growl.

"Oh, God," Cas cries, "yes, Dean, give it to me…" his words spur Dean on, causing even rougher, harder thrusts.

"Oh, God, Cas, I love it when you beg," Dean growls in his ear.

"Fuck me, Dean," Cas practically screams. Dean grunts before pushing off the table. He hastily restrains Cas by the nape of his neck, locks his hand around Cas' wrist and pins his arm behind his back. Cas doesn't fight it but only groans deeper when Dean's new leverage creates a new wave of unknowable pleasure. With every thrust, Cas is brought closer to the edge. Dean drives into Cas as hard and fast as he can, his body coated in salty sweat, both his and Cas'. If he could concentrate on anything else but his pleasure right now, he would feel his body being driven to its limits. All Dean can feel is his impending orgasm, on the cusp of being unleashed on his all-too-willing body.

Cas can't hold on any longer and he lets out a loud, carnal wail as his entire body erupts in a volcano of pleasurable, throbbing sensations. As Cas explodes, so does Dean, letting the evidence of his orgasm fill his lover. His body, unable to hold up after the overwhelming climax, collapses onto Cas, completely drained of energy.

"Holy shit," Dean whispers into Cas' ear, summoning all his strength to pull himself off his lover, for fear of hurting on him. Dean rolls onto his back so that he's lying on the table.

"Yeah," Cas says, pushing himself off the table and pulling up his briefs, "I know," he agrees. Cas rolls his shoulder, stretching out his sore muscles, knowing that they'll get worse.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Dean asks in a concerned voice.

Cas chuckles, "I won't be able to sit for a week, Dean," he breathes, still trying to catch his breath, "and it was totally worth it."

Dean laughs and pulls himself up into a sitting position to lean in and give Cas a sweet, chaste kiss. "Do we need a safe word?" He asks, his tone flavoured with worry. Dean knows that when the roles are reversed, he never needs a safe word. He can't imagine Cas ever doing anything that would call for it because all Dean can think in those moments is 'more, more, more'.

Cas smiles, "Yeah," he agrees sarcastically, "it can be 'harder'." He winks at Dean.

Dean sighs, "I could sleep for a year after that," he says matter-of-factly and pulls on his sweat pants, pulls another beer from the fridge and heads to the lounge room.

Cas moves the table back into its original position and then moves to pick up a fallen chair, he didn't even notice it falling over. Cas picks it up as well as Dean's jacket that had been resting on it. He notices a small package, covered in brown paper like it's ready to be posted. He frowns before reaching down and picking it up. He decides it must have fallen from Dean's jacket.

"Dean?" Cas calls, receiving a muffled 'hm?' "Is this yours?" He asks.

Dean pops his head over the back of the couch to see what Cas is talking about. Cas watches his eyes change from lazy to wide in a microsecond. Dean jumps off the couch so quickly, it's suspicious.

"Uhh, I'll take that," he says quickly, moving towards Cas as if to claim it back. Cas, growing suspicious, moves away, keeping the package out of Dean's grasp. Dean stops, suddenly aware of how questionable his behaviour must look.

"What's in here?" Cas asks, clearly amused.

"It's nothing, Cas," Dean dismisses, advancing on Cas once more, "Now, give it here."

Cas moves as quickly as Dean, "No," he refuses, smiling cheekily, "come get it."

"Cas," Dean says seriously as Cas takes off and he sets in motion after him. "I'm serious, give it to me," Dean says as he continues to chase Cas around the kitchen and into the living room, damn, the kid's fast. Cas laughs as he skids around the house in his underwear.

"Tell me what's in it and I'll return it," he giggles.

Cas stumbles to a halt, just as Dean comes crashing into him, involuntarily tackling his lover to the ground. Cas struggles against Dean, desperate to keep the package out of reach. Dean can't help but break a smile at Cas' infectious laughter.

"Cas, I'm serious," Dean says through laughter, trying to wrestle Cas for his package.

"Just tell me what's in here," Cas suggests.

"No," Dean refuses.

"Why?"

"Because it's private!" Dean snaps, crawling up Cas and trying to pin him to retrieve his parcel.

"Private?" Cas asks, faking outrage, "From me? I'm gonna' open it." Cas pretends to start to tear the wrapping, although he'd never actually invade Dean's privacy like this, he's just goofing around.

"Cas, don't!" Dean yells and Cas stops dead, that's not Dean's playful tone.

Dean looks at Cas' stunned face and instantly regrets his outburst. Cas' hand goes limp and Dean claims what is his. Dean sits up and Cas instantly follows him, crossing his legs timidly.

"I'm sorry," he says shyly.

"Cas…" Dean begins.

"What are you trying to hide, Dean?" Cas asks.

Dean exhales, toying with the parcel in his hand, "Cas…" he begins again, contemplating how to explain it. "I'm not hiding."

"Then what?" He snaps, standing up and storming to the kitchen to pull on his discarded clothes, feeling ridiculous having this conversation in his underwear.

"It's… it's hard to explain," Dean says, standing up to follow Cas, meeting him in the kitchen just as he pulls on his t-shirt.

"Then try, Dean," he offers, turning around to confront Dean face to face, standing akimbo.

"Cas, I can't," Dean defends, "can you just trust me that it's not important?"

"It's hard to do that when you try so hard to stop me from seeing what's in there," Cas yells, stuttering a little bit in desperation to get out the whole sentence.

"Cas, it's nothing, now, just drop it!" Dean says.

"It doesn't look like nothing," Cas says, his voice hoarse.

"Cas, just trust me," Dean pleads, "you don't need to know."

Cas looks utterly offended, "So you _are_ keeping things from me?"

"No, Cas," Dean begins, "I just-,"

"What're you lying about, Dean?!" Cas' voice finally breaks in strain.

"Nothing!" He yells.

"Then show me!"

"Fine!" Dean yells. Too frustrated to care anymore, he rips up the wrapping, opens the box and slams it on the table for Cas to see. Then he turns to cross his arms, avoid Cas' stare and sulk.

Cas looks in the box carefully, "Dean," he breathes, "what is that?" He asks nervously.

"It's a ring," Dean says gruffly. Cas stares at the simple, silver band with some minor, black details.

"A ring?" Cas squeaks, the pieces falling together in his head. Dean looks at Cas, whose face is stricken with confusion and horror. Dean sighs and his face softens. He picks up the ring to toy with it in his fingers.

"It's for you," Dean tells him, his anger fading.

"Oh," Cas says softly, regret filling his veins like a poison.

"Gabriel helped me pick it out," he says matter-of-factly, his anger gone.

"Oh," Cas repeats.

The kitchen fills with a deafening silence. Dean finally breaks it.

"I, uhh," Dean begins nervously, "was going to…"

"Dean," Cas interrupts, his voice entirely uneven, his eyes stained with tears, "did I just ruin what was going to be the single greatest moment of my life?"

Dean smiles, his face lit with amusement and utter love, "No, Cas," he says. "You didn't ruin a thing," he soothes. Even though it's not how he pictured it, even though he was mad a second ago, Cas can still remind Dean of how much he utterly adores him. He needs to do it now because, in this moment, he's never been more certain. Not of Cas, he's always certain about him, but the timing. Dean had worried about this being too soon but he knew, from the start, that he wanted this. Now, he knows more than ever. Cas makes him love him, even during the bleakest of times in their relationship.

Dean moves towards Cas, ring in hand.

"Dean?" Cas squeaks.

"Cas," Dean whispers, pulling Cas' hand into both of his. "I, uhh, had a speech but I can't remember it."

"Dean, please don't do anything you'll regret," Cas blurts out.

Dean frowns, "Regret?"

"Don't do this because I forced it out in the open," Cas pleads, his insecurity rearing its ugly head.

Dean dismisses Cas' pleads with a shake of his head, "Cas… I would want to do this under any circumstances; at any time… as long as the answer is the same because the reason's the same."

"Dean…" Cas breathes.

"Cas," Dean begins, all the things he had planned to say run through his head. He'd planned his entire speech, every single thing he wants to say to perfectly build up to that one question but all he can think of is that one question. The rest just comes bumbling out. "Just marry me," he blurts out.

"Yes," Cas answers quickly.

Dean's eyes flash like he really wasn't expecting a yes, "Really?"

Cas smiles, "Yes," he says, "of course it's a yes."

"Cas, I'm asking you to marry me," Dean clarifies, making sure Cas heard him, because it seems too good to be true, "like, in holy matrimony, husband and husband, get a house, have a mortgage… have a little boy or girl with your blue eyes that'll call you Daddy." Dean bites his lip to punish himself for speaking. He's probably just completely scared Cas with his motor mouth. He never thought he'd let _those_ thoughts out of his head. He'd thought about it a few times before but he knew it was pre-mature. It was a fantasy to keep locked in his head, only for him to see and, even knowing it was there, was embarrassing. He's hardly of age and the last person who should probably have a kid, but it didn't stop him. The thought didn't appeal to him because he wants kids, it appeals to him because he wants Cas, in any and every form. It's true, though, clear as day. He wants a little baby boy with a tuft of dark hair and blue eyes like his father. He wants a child that he can teach how to fight and how to fix cars and one that's as smart as Cas, with his love of deeper things like poetry and books.

He wants it all.

"Dean," Cas pulls him out of his reverie, "If you had asked me to elope with you after the first time we made love, I probably would've done it," Cas confesses.

"Cas," Dean whispers, his eyes full of water and his mouth turned up at the corners. Dean reaches up to graze Cas' cheek, "If I knew that, I would've asked you then."

Cas smiles before bringing Dean in to crush their lips together. Dean breaks away but ensures Cas' hand remains glued to his cheek.

Dean plays with the ring in his hand, "I didn't know how to go about this," he confesses, "I thought a diamond was a little girly."

Cas grins, "Dean, it's perfect."

"Shall I do this official?" He grins and Cas looks confused, his eyebrows forming that perfect, angelic crease that Dean loves.

"What do you mean?"

Dean smiles and steps back to kneel.

Cas chuckles, "Dean, c'mon," he says.

Dean shakes his head, "No, I think this is good," he says before holding out the ring, "Castiel Novak," he recites, "will you do me the honour of becoming my Husband?"

Cas smiles, "On one condition," he says simply and Dean arches an eyebrow. "Our second child looks like you."

Dean grins and slides the ring onto Cas' finger, marking him as his. He stands up, sliding his digits into Cas'.

Dean looks to his fiancé, unable to keep the smile off his face. He brings his hands up to cup Cas' infectiously happy face. He stares into the blue eyes he first fell in love with. Cas watches the smile slightly fade from Dean's face.

"What?" He asks anxiously.

Dean lightly shakes his head, "I feel like I'm going to wake up…" he confesses, "and none of this will be real."

Cas smiles warmly, "Dean, wake up."

"What?" Dean asks, his heart beating fast as Cas' face begins to fade.

"Wake up!" Cas repeats.

"No," Dean whispers, feeling the scene fade away from him, "NO!" He yells, Cas' face getting further and further away.

"Dean, wake up!"

Dean launches into a sitting position, his body covered with sweat and his heart pounding. Terror is on his tongue and he doesn't understand where he is for a second. Cas' face comes into view.

"Cas?" Dean asks urgently and his hands find Cas' face and he feels him, ensuring that he's real. Cas is sitting over him while Dean's still in bed.

"Dean, I'm here," Cas assures him, smiling.

Dean pulls Cas to him so that their foreheads are touching, "Thank God," he whispers.

Cas chuckles, "Bad dream?"

Dean shakes his head, "Good dream," he says, "bad ending… my head's playing tricks on me."

"Yeah, what else is new?" Cas asks and Dean pulls back to glare at him. Cas just smiles. "What was your dream about?"

Dean breathes heavily, still trying to catch his breath, "Us," Dean clarifies, "when I proposed."

Cas smiles, "That's one of my favourite memories," he muses.

"Yeah, me too," Dean says and he pulls Cas close to him to give him a sweet kiss.

Cas pats Dean on the leg, "Up," he orders, "you have to go to work."

Dean groans, "No quickie before breakfast?" He asks hopefully and Cas rolls his eyes.

"Mary's already up," Cas alerts him before standing to leave their marital bedroom. At the mention of Mary, Dean's up and out of bed, following Cas to the kitchen. Dean practically runs to the bench, where he spots Mary's highchair, she's happily playing with her food.

At the sight of her father, Mary squeals excitedly, "Daddy!" She cries, holding her hands out and scrunching her fists at Dean.

"Is she finished?" Dean clarifies, knowing how much Cas hates it when he picks her up and disturbs her in the middle of breakfast. He has to make sure, even though both of them know full well that when she starts to play with her food, it means she's done.

"Yes," Cas answers.

"Good morning, beautiful," he grins, reaching into Mary's highchair to pull her out and into his arms. Mary bursts into a fit of giggles as Dean immediately starts to tickle her.

Cas smiles adoringly at the sight.

Dean takes in his daughter's beauty, her gorgeous blue eyes and dark hair that's getting longer and longer every day. He pushes her up in the air, causing her to giggle.

"You look more and more like your Papa every day," Dean smiles and Mary just continues to giggle.

"Yeah, well, she eats like her Daddy," Cas intervenes and Dean chuckles.

"That's my girl," he muses, pulling Mary back down to hug her before setting her down on the ground. Mary runs to her toys in the living room. She's so eager to do everything; the child was running before she could walk.

Cas serves Dean a plate of the breakfast he made, eggs and toast. Dean moves around the kitchen bench to settle his arms around Cas' stomach and hug him closely from behind.

Cas sighs and leans back into Dean.

"Look at her," Dean whispers, directing Cas' attention to their beautiful, two year old daughter playing on the floor. "She's the greatest thing I've ever done since I married you," he says, pressing his lips to his Cas' neck, causing him chuckle. It'd been close to seven years since Dean and Cas got married. They practically did it straight after high school, they didn't want to wait. Dean went to work at the garage with Bobby while Cas went to college. Now, Dean still works with Bobby and Cas started working from home after his first published book.

Dean and Cas still go to the Roadhouse every now and then when Krissy, their next door neighbour's teenage daughter, can babysit Mary. They meet up with Ash, working full time at the Roadhouse with the misses, Jo. The two had their first child a year before Mary was born. Garth, he sees from time to time. Anna went off to some prestigious school and now lives at the other end of the country. Charlie got a high paying job straight after high school with some big computer company. Then, she got into some trouble, something to do with computer hacking, and took off. Cas had grown quite close to her and he gets a coded postcard every few months or so. Last time he heard, she was in England.

Sammy finally became a lawyer and married Jess, she's currently pregnant. Gabe hit it off with one of Sam's friends from college, Kali and they've been together for a few years now. They've displayed no plans to get married just yet; Dean thinks Gabe has commitment issues.

Dean takes every opportunity he has to visit Bobby outside of work. He worries about the old man, running around in that big house all by himself. Grandpa Bobby loves visits from his first grandchild.

"The greatest things to have ever happened to me…" Cas begins, breaking Dean out of his reverie. "You… and her."

Dean doesn't know how he could live without Cas and he often thinks of how close he came to being without him.

Dean smiles against his husband's shoulder, tightening his grip on him, "I have the perfect Husband… a wonderful daughter…" Dean begins, his mind pondering, "what's next?"

Three years later

Cas stares down at the healthy, baby boy in his arms, barely a few hours old. He knows he's been staring but he can't help it, he can't take his eyes off his son. He looks so peaceful while sleeping, like a little baby angel. It's so precious because of all the obstacles Dean and he had faced to get to this point. Mary had happened so easily, all the pieces just fell into place. Cas should've known from the start that they wouldn't be so lucky twice. When they decided to make Mary, they'd easily found a surrogate that they both approved of, a close cousin of Cas', and it only took them one try before Mary was created. This time, however, they'd had troubles. The whole process was the hardest on Dean. He and Cas had made the deal that Cas would be the father of their first, and Dean would be the biological father of their second. Little did they know that they would have complications. Dean was devastated when they got the news that he had a low sperm count. He was so desperate not to disappoint Cas that he insisted that they just make Cas the father again. However, Cas wouldn't have it. He didn't want Dean to miss out on anything. They both disagreed so it wasn't an easy time for anyone. They fought a lot, Dean wanting to give up but Cas insisting that they keep trying. If there were ever a time that Dean and Cas' marriage almost crumbled, it was then. Dean never felt more useless, he felt like he'd let his partner down.

Finally, though, it happened. The day they found out they were pregnant; Dean was so happy he burst into tears and just cried in Cas' arms.

Now, their baby's finally arrived. The baby Dean had started to doubt would never come.

Cas only raises his head when he hears the door open. Dean's face mirrors his own beaming happiness. Holding Dean's hand is little Mary. She's got her favourite, plush doll in her hands and she looks shyly at her Papa.

Cas smiles at his daughter, "Mary," he begins, "meet your little brother," he says.

Dean leads Mary over to Cas. Mary stands on her tippy toes, trying to peek over Cas' arms to see her baby brother. Dean scoops her up so that she can see.

Mary smiles at the baby in her father's hands, "That's my brother?" She asks shyly.

Cas smiles, "Yes," he answers. "is it okay if we take him home?"

Mary smiles shyly before nodding, "I wanna' hold him," she says.

Dean smiles and sits down on a chair and pulls Mary onto his lap. Cas stands with the baby in his arms and gives him to Mary and Dean.

The nurse in the room is warmed by the scene.

"Do we have a name, yet?" She asks.

Cas looks to the nurse and then back at the baby. Dean and he had not discussed it yet because they'd been expecting another girl. The sonogram had been read wrong. Cas knew, though. He knew the child's name as soon as he found out the sex.

"Robert," Cas answers and Dean's head snaps up to look into Cas' eyes, "Robert John."

"Really?" Dean asks and Cas smiles and nods.

"If that's okay with you," Cas says.

Dean's eyes well as he looks down at his son, "I wish he were here," Dean says, his voice thick with emotion as he embraces his two children.

Cas' hand caresses Dean's arm in comfort, "I know," he says simply, "me too."

It's been two years since Bobby passed, and Dean hasn't quite gotten over it. The only father figure he ever had is gone. The only grandfather their children would ever know is gone.

"Bobby-John will never have a grandfather," Dean realises sadly, just as he never did.

"No," Cas concludes, "but he's got two uncles who would die for him… a sister who'll love him forever," he continues, "and the greatest father anyone could ask for."

Mary looks between her Papa and her Dad. She doesn't understand what's being said but she senses the change in tone.

Dean's watery eyes find Cas' blue ones, "the _two_ greatest fathers anyone could ask for," he clarifies and leans in to kiss his husband and the father of his children. Dean then places a kiss on Mary's head and a kiss on his new born son's.

Five years later.

Dean enters his home late. The house is quiet, he hopes he didn't miss kissing the kids goodnight. He wanders through the house, careful not to call out stupidly. He hears a whispering voice and follows it to Bobby-John's room.

He quietly opens the door and peaks through. Cas is sitting at the foot of their son's bed with an open book on his lap. Bobby-John is in his bed with his head resting on his sister's chest. They're both asleep and yet, Cas continues to read from the book 'Stuart Little'. Dean stands there for, he doesn't know how long, just staring. Finally, Cas looks up to see Dean standing over the threshold, covered in grease and a lazy smile on his face. Cas smiles back before he looks at the children and, realising they're asleep, closes his book.

Cas carefully slides off the bed and leans over to flick the lamp off. He walks up to Dean and quietly sneaks out of the room.

Dean's smiling widely.

"Mary let Bobby watch a scary movie this afternoon," Cas explains, his voice both disapproving and amused.

Dean raises his eyebrows, "Really?" He asks. "Which one?"

Cas frowns, _like that's important?_ He wonders.

Cas' face turns stern on Dean, "The same one _you_ let her watch when she was seven."

Dean rolls his eyes, "Am I ever gonna' live that down?"

"Dean, she couldn't sleep for a week!" He shouts but then silences himself and shakes his head, "I'm not getting into this again."

Dean stifles his laughter.

"Anyway… not the point," Cas continues and begins walking towards to the kitchen, Dean follows. "Bobby didn't want to sleep… he was scared."

"Yeah?" Dean prompts.

"Mary felt awful… she wouldn't leave his side until she knew he was asleep," Cas is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Well, that's just adorable," Dean says and Cas agrees with a nod of his head.

"Do you ever wonder how _we_ ended up with such beautiful children?" Cas asks his husband.

Dean smiles, "Well, I guess in the family department, we've paid our dues," Dean suggests.

Cas gives Dean a small smile, "I wish I could go back to my fourteen year old self and tell him that it's all worth it."

Dean slides his hand into Cas' open palm, "I knew from the moment I met you… that anything and everything I've ever endured in life was worth it."

Cas brings Dean's hand to his lips and kisses it, "I love you Dean," he says, "as much as the day I married you."

Dean smiles and pulls his husband in for a hug, "You're my angel, Castiel," Dean says and Cas' stomach drops. Dean only uses his full name when he's speaking very seriously. "I love you as much as the children I've had with you."

Seven years later.

Dean feels the wind being knocked out of him as he gets kicked in the stomach and knocked to the ground. He hears a delighted, bell-like chuckle.

"You gotta be faster than that, Dad," Mary taunts, lending her hand down to haul her old man onto his feet. Once Dean is standing, Mary's back into the starting position.

"Remember who taught you all these moves," he retorts, taking his offensive position.

Mary smiles mischievously, "Yeah, Chuck Norris," she quips.

Dean rolls his eyes, he's perhaps taught her too well. Dean wanted a boy so he could teach him to fight, but Mary's more interested in this stuff than Bobby-John is. She's definitely Dean's daughter. Cas sometimes disapproves of Dean teaching the kids to fight but he likes knowing that they can protect themselves.

"Chuck Norris ain't got nothing on me," Dean responds.

Mary laughs, "Yeah, right, Dad…" She responds, "I'm sure Chuck Norris doesn't get his ass whooped by his own, teenage daughter."

"Don't get smart with me," Dean replies, preparing himself for their next round, "Now," he begins, "are you ready?"

Mary rolls her eyes in a way befitting of any teenage girl, "Dad," she complains, "I'm always ready."

"There's such a thing as too cocky, Mary," Dean reminds her, raising his eyebrows, knowing all too well where she gets it from.

Mary grins, "I hear if it's genetic, it's harmless," she says quickly and Dean rolls his eyes. "Now, c'mon, Dad," she encourages, "I'm getting old over here."

Dean rolls his eyes, "Now," he begins, putting his arms up in front of his face, mirroring his daughter's stance. "What do you do if some guy asks you to dance?" He asks.

"Dad," Mary complains, "do we have to do this?"

"I need to know my daughter knows how to handle herself," he explains.

"I can deck _you_, can't I?" She asks.

"Your moves are good, but your attitude needs work," Dean jokes.

"Dad, my attitude is my best feature," She grins, "it needs no such work."

"A sleazy guy hits on you and you're not interested," Dean prompts, "what do you do?" He takes a moment to decide his first move before launching at Mary, in an attempt to grab her. Mary quickly evades his attempt; she's fast, like her Papa.

"Say, 'thank you kindly for your interest, sir, but I have to respectfully decline'," Mary says as Dean takes another shot and she dodges the hit, adding a kick to his stomach that deflects him but doesn't knock him over completely.

Dean ignores the joke, "And if he tries to kiss you?" He asks as he proceeds to attempt to attack his daughter.

"I sock him in the kisser," Mary laughs, striking Dean in the chest with her palm, knocking him down again.

"That's my girl," Dean smiles.

"Shit, Dad," Mary curses, helping him to his feet once more "you're making this too easy for me."

"Watch your mouth, young lady," Cas reminds Mary, entering the garage that Dean turned into a training ring with two bottles of water in his hands. He places them on a nearby stool.

"Sorry Papa," Mary says quickly, smiling at her other father.

Cas knows that Dean lets her swear in front of him but Cas disapproves, nonetheless, "It's not enough that you teach her to fight and shoot guns but now you have to inflict your potty mouth on our daughter?" Cas raises his eyebrows at Dean.

Dean smiles, "She clearly gets it from you," he argues.

Cas rolls his eyes.

"Papa, I beat Dad three rounds in a row!" Mary interrupts to brag.

Cas smiles widely at his daughter, "I'm very proud, honey."

She beams, "I think Dad's getting old," she says.

"Or you're getting good," Dean retorts.

Cas and Mary look at each sceptically and mutually shake their heads, "Nah, you're getting old," they say simultaneously before bursting into giggles.

"Yeah, yeah," Dean dismisses.

"Mary, do you have homework?" Cas asks.

Mary rolls her eyes, "Yes, Papa," she responds, her voice thick with a purposeful groan. Mary skips off to head back inside, snaking a drink Cas brought in as she goes. As soon as she's gone, Dean bends over to let his true exhaustion show.

"She's getting good," Dean says. Cas wanders over to rub Dean on the back, unable to get rid of his smile.

"She _is_ good," Cas says warmly, his voice laced with affection, "just like her Daddy."

Dean stands to smile at Cas, "I might have to leave her to sparring with her brother," he says.

Cas smiles, "How normal are we?" He asks.

"Yeah, maybe I should've taught her how to sew or something instead," Dean worries, knowing how Cas feels about the fighting.

"Dean, she's the toughest girl her age," Cas says adoringly, "She knows more about cars than most _boys_ her age and she's smarter than people _our_ age… I wouldn't change a thing about her upbringing."

"Yeah," Dean agrees, "except maybe just rewind the clock…" Cas looks at him strangely, "she's growing up too fast," he clarifies.

Cas smiles, "They both are," he says, "Before we know it, Bobby will be graduating from college."

Ten years later.

"C'mon," Dean encourages, gesturing with his hands, "group in closer."

"Dad," Bobby complains, "this is the fiftieth one."

"Let your father have this, Bobby," Cas tells his son, "he's proud of you."

"Yeah, suck it up, little bro," Mary intervenes, patting Bobby lightly on the back and beaming, "it's your graduation… enjoy it… embrace the humiliation."

"You're not helping," Bobby sings to his sister. "You know, if you actually _went_ to college… Dad might've gotten this all out of his system before now."

"Unlikely," Cas intervenes, "your father just gets worse with time… that's why we have twice as many baby photos of you, Bobby."

"I just thought it was because I'm the cute one," he quips, earning him a whack over the back of the head from his sister.

"Hey!" Dean calls, letting the camera fall to his waist level. "Can we play nice for five seconds?"

"We've been playing nice for the last twenty minutes!" Bobby retorts. Dean's embarrassing but Bobby knows he wouldn't trade him for anything.

"Just a few more," Dean says for the third time. He knows he's embarrassing his son but he can't help it, he's the over-enthusiastic father you see at every college graduation.

Bobby rolls his eyes but straightens up anyway and places a big smile on his face. Cas hugs his sons' shoulders and Mary slings her arm over her little brother's neck.

The flash goes off a few times.

"Now, just you and your sister," Dean suggests.

Cas steps out of the frame, quickly enabling Dean's over-excited behaviour.

"We already did that one!" Bobby complains.

"Just shut up and take the damn photo," Mary says, slyly pinching her brother.

Bobby nudges her, "Bitch," he quips.

"Jerk," she says, pushing him back.

"Hey, hey!" Dean calls, "Knock it off."

Bobby and Mary stop begrudgingly.

"She started it," Bobby says quickly.

Mary makes a face like she's outraged, "You snitch!"

"Kids, please?" Dean begs. "Just one more."

"Just humour your father, kids," Cas tells his children softly.

"Fine!" Mary complains, "Just, hurry, Dad."

"Well, if you two would stop fussing," Dean says, raising the camera up and pointing it at his kids, "Now… get in close," Dean insists. Bobby and Mary shuffle in comically. "Smile," Bobby and Mary smile but, on the flash, simultaneously pull a gruesome face. They erupt in laughter. Cas chuckles along with his children.

Dean sighs, exasperated, but he can't help but pull a smile, he tries not to but he can't help it.

"Kids, please?" Dean begs, humour still flavouring his tone. Mary and Bobby continue to laugh and Dean sees the perfect 'kodak' moment. He snaps a picture of his children, capturing a beautiful shot of their natural, effortless happiness. Dean can't help himself when he points the camera at Cas and captures a quick close-up of his gorgeous, genuine smile. He swears, Cas only grows more and more attractive with age.

"Are we finished?" Bobby asks.

"Almost," Dean responds before turning to a nearby stranger and requesting that they take their picture. The stranger agrees. Dean runs towards his kids, "One more," Dean says, gesturing for his family to group together.

Dean stands between his two children and slings his arms over their shoulders. Cas overlaps his husband's arm around Bobby's shoulders and shuffles in close.

"Smile," Dean reminds them and everyone beams until the flash goes off.

"Okay," Dean begins, "no more photos," he promises.

Mary hoots, "Finally, let's go celebrate," she hooks her arm around Bobby's neck and pulls him along playfully, "I can't believe that my little bro's graduated!"

Dean chuckles at the display and tussles his son's hair, "I know," he agrees before looking at Cas, "our baby boy's growing up."

"Dad!" Bobby complains, pulling away from Mary's headlock.

Cas chuckles, "Yeah… next thing you know… Our baby girl will be getting married."

Mary makes a disgusted noise in the back of her throat, "Not bloody likely," she rejects.

Two years later.

Cas opens the door, with Dean eagerly on his tail. His eyes fall to the beauty in a clean, white dress. His mouth drops.

Mary smiles at her two Dads.

"You look beautiful," Cas says, walking towards her to embrace his daughter.

"Thanks, Papa," Mary beams.

Dean's right behind Cas and places his hands on his daughter's shoulders, the tears clear in his eyes. Dean just looks at her, unable to find the right words for the moment. Cas, knowing his husband all too well, pats Dean on the shoulder and says what he means.

"Your father and I thought this would be the hardest day," Cas begins, "we'd never let you go if we could…" Cas' voice croaks, breaking under the pressure of the emotional situation, "and now we're giving you away."

Mary smiles, her eyes welling with tears, "Papa," she begins, looking between the two greatest parents a child could ask for, "Dad… you two are my best friends in the whole world… I can't imagine having two better parents."

Dean's eyes well uncontrollably, "Mary, don't make your father cry," he says, unable to control his emotions.

Mary smiles a watery smile, "I love you two." She pulls her two fathers into a big hug.

"We love you, too, Mary," Cas says, his eyes spilling over as he clutches to his daughter, fearing that he may not let go.

"More than anything," Dean adds.

"Thank you," Mary whispers, "for everything."

Cas and Dean hug their daughter tighter.

Mary pulls away to look at her parents just as the door opens. Bobby pokes his head around, a brilliant grin on his face.

"It's time," he announces.

Mary beams before turning to the mirror for one last check-up. She then turns to follow her brother out the door. She stops before leaving to look back, her face glowing with bliss, "You two coming?" She asks before heading out, ready to walk down the aisle and get married.

"Are you ready for this?" Cas asks, looking to his partner.

Dean tries to breathe deeply in an attempt to hold back his tears. His little girl, his beautiful little Mary has grown up and now, the main man in her life is not Dean, nor Cas. Letting her go is harder for Dean, he and Mary had always shared a special bond. It wasn't like Cas or Dean ever favoured any of their children, but Mary grew up to be her Dad, Dean and Bobby grew up to be like his Papa, Cas. Mary likes to fight, go shooting, works on cars and can drink a trunk driver under the table. Bobby's been reading books way beyond his year level since he started school and shares his Papa's love of art and poetry. Dean formed such a bond with Mary because she's the embodiment of everything good and pure in this world; Cas. She's so obviously Cas' daughter. Still Dean's, of course, but Mary has Cas' genetics. Dean looks to his daughter and sees the dishevelled, dark hair and the magnetic blue eyes of her father, the love of Dean's life. She's beautiful, like her Papa. Cas looks to Bobby and sees warm, green eyes accompanied by a few faint, familiar freckles. He's beautiful, like his Dad.

Dean just nods, "Yeah," he says but Cas can see how much he's struggling, torn between wanting to be happy for his daughter and not wanting to let her go.

Cas grips Dean's hand within his, "I'm here," he says softly.

Dean looks in Cas' eyes, his own filled with water, "How'd this happen so fast?" He asks Cas, "Where'd all our time go?"

Cas smiles sadly, "Dean, we have all the time in the world," he reminds him.

Dean chokes back his stuttering whimper, "She doesn't need us anymore," he admits sadly. "Our daughter doesn't need her own fathers."

Cas squeezes his husband's hand affectionately, "Dean," Cas soothes, "Mary will _always_ need you," he clarifies, "she's come to you for everything since she was a child… she'll always need her fathers," Cas pauses to inhale deeply, "and we'll always be here."

Dean gives his partner a watery smile, letting himself me appeased, "Our little girl's getting married," he enthuses.

Cas smiles broadly, "Yes," he agrees before gesturing to the exit, "and we're going to be late."

Dean lets Cas guide him outside the dressing room. Bobby is adjusting Mary's veil. It's not one that covers he face; it merely falls over the back of her soft, dark brown curls, creating the illusion of a halo. Dean smiles to himself, _an angel_, he thinks, _just like Cas._

Dean smiles. He doesn't know why, maybe because he'd raised Mary to be so tough, but she never had very many close girlfriends. Lilly, Jo and Ash's daughter, is her closest girlfriend and even _she_ didn't make it to maid of honour status. Her maid of honour or, rather, _man_ of honour is Bobby, her best friend. It makes Dean so proud that his children are as close as he is with Sam, Sam had been _his_ best man and Gabriel had been Cas'.

When Mary first got engaged, she sulked because she thought the traditional wedding didn't provide enough spaces for the three most important men in her life. She was already breaking tradition, having two fathers give her away, but there was no space for Bobby. Mary had wanted her little brother to give her away, too, but it would have been impossible for her to walk down the aisle with three men on her arm. She decided that she wanted her best friend to stand next to her on her wedding day.

Mary's face lights up as Dean and Cas reach her.

Bobby smiles at his family, "I better get into position," he announces and kisses Mary on the check before heading out towards the alter.

"Are you ready?" Dean asks, unable to hide his tears from his daughter.

Mary nods, "Don't cry, Dad," she attempts, "you'll make me cry."

Dean smiles, "I'm sorry, honey," he says, "I'm just so proud of you."

Mary beams, "I'm a little nervous," she admits.

Dean reaches out and cups his daughter's hand, "Your Papa and I will be right there next to you," he promises, "the whole time."

Cas watches the scene, feeling completely and totally content. Even when Dean's on the verge of buckling under the emotional pressure, he's still there for his little girl, providing her with whatever advice she needs, a true father.

The music begins and Dean holds out his arm and Mary takes it. Cas takes the other side.

"Ready?" Cas asks, his question directed both at Dean _and_ Mary. Dean smiles at his husband and nods.

Mary smiles at her Papa, "As I'll ever be," she says, bracing herself.

Cas and Dean walk their daughter down the aisle. All the faces are on Mary. Dean looks at the familiar faces smiling at his daughter. Sam and Jess in the front row with Annabel and the twins: Jacob and Nicholas. Gabriel and Kali are also there, smiling warmly. Jo and Ash stand with their children, too. Dean wishes Bobby could be here, he imagines him standing awkwardly in a tuxedo, complaining about having to wear a confounded tie.

Dean uses all his willpower to control his emotions as he and Cas both kiss their daughter and hand her over to her future husband. They both take their seats in the front row as the ceremony begins.

Dean takes in the view of the scene in front of him. He'd thought about this day a lot, he never thought it'd creep up on them so fast.

"You know, we really did it," Dean leans over to whisper.

"Did what, Dean?" Cas asks.

"Built the perfect life together."

Cas slides his hand into the hand of man he's loved for thirty-five years, "I know."


End file.
